Pilot

So I think its about time I post something here seeing as how there are people looking at it and I can only imagine the disappointment when they see "Awww... There's nothing here yet. -sadface-".

My life is going to become somewhat more filled with things to do now that summer is pretty much over. Going back to school tomorrow for example, finally. And I know it might seem strange that I'm excited about this because, well dear god everyone hates school, right? I don't care if that makes me weird, if that's the case then so be it. The only thing that might make my jovial tune make sense is the fact that I'm not talking about high school. I'm a college girl going into my junior year. You see my point now right? I hope so.

But the good is never without the bad. You see it was a classic case of not knowing how to balance myself correctly. At first my freshman year was flawless, straight As and Bs across the board. Then I made friends and started getting a life outside of burying my head in text books, and I loved hanging out with them so much that I kind of put school on the back burner thinking everything was ok. That's why I'm on academic probation right now. Only two of my friends in real life know this (and my mother of course, yikes) because I'm trying to keep it a secret from everyone else I care about, for fear of what they will say or think if I do say anything about it. Like for example, "I told you so." But whom ever reads this is a third party who doesn't know me, my friends and is completely removed from the situation, so why not spill some beans here?

I guess I came back here looking for something, something that I know I've had in the past but never really found it or used it to its true potential. Call it what you will, courage, guts, balls, confidence, my voice. It's really the same thing. I need to find mine never the less. A lot of things are at stake if I don't. A chance to be with the one I love for example... But I guess I'll save that story for another time.

If you have any questions or advice or what not, fee free to comment if you would be so kind ^_^