Hi! My name is K.D., although most online know me as misachan83. I'm 32, and am an author and anime lover. Welcome to the shadows of my creative and sometimes odd mind

A Random Update

Hey everybody. So to start off, sorry I haven't been around that much lately. There's been a lot going on and I've been kind of sick with allergies on top of that. I figured I'd do a post here and talk a little (and also say that yes, I am still alive)

So, I guess first off is that my time has been a bit limited lately on making wallpapers and drawing. That and it's been kind of hit and miss on inspiration. I'm currently trying to put together one of Hisoka from HunterxHunter, but it's been difficult for whatever reason to get it to come together. Eventually I'll get there.

But that also leads to my main issue as of late, and that's tied into a depressive episode. I kind of knew it was coming, considering they always follow manic episodes when it comes to me, and it's been a bummer. I won't complain too much on here or go deep into it. I'll just admit that I have it and have been fighting it a lot lately with limited success. I feel bad that it's shut me down here for a while though. I like making wallpapers and drawing and talking to everybody. It's just been a little difficult lately with not thinking that clearly at times.

I've actually gotten myself back into trying to do things recently though. I even started playing Apocripha/0, which I haven't played in quite a while. It's lightened my mood a little more now.

In other, better news, I've managed to finish my latest novel and am in the final proofreading stage of it. I'm struggling a little for a cover, but at least the novel is completely finished. I have two other projects that I'm trying to get into as well. One of them I found after I thought I'd lost it on my computer that crashed, which is awesome. So that helps some with the depression I've felt. Hopefully I'll be able to start drawing and getting more wallpapers done now too (once I squeeze in with helping my husband crabbing and working on these projects).

Thank you if you stopped by to read this too. I always appreciate feedback and just seeing that people looked. All of you are great friends!

Life in general I guess

Wow, it's been a while since I've really posted on here. I guess you could say that life's been in the way a lot lately, although I've tried staying active with the things I like to do. It's been rough though. My husband and son were sick for a few days with the stomach flu recently, not to mention I've been suffering more from a major depressive episode. It's been hard to get by, but I'm somehow still managing (and keeping my head just above water).

Anyway, on a positive note, I made an FB page for my art and wallpapers recently with the same title as this world. If you're interested in checking it out, the link is here. I just wanted to do it for me. Not only is it another place to post my work (although I love having it here too), but I also want to use it to talk at times about my life with mental illness too. Don't know how well it will go, but I guess we'll see.

Anyway, hope everyone has had a good year so far. Hopefully I'll also be able to get out of my little funk and be more active with my own wallpapers and art here soon.

A rough time lately...

The way I feel at times…

Good evening my lovelies. I sincerely hope that everyone is doing well through the end of this winter. It’s been nice for me to be back, although I admit that I’m still battling some pretty rough bouts of depression at this time. They say that it’s good for the heart and mind to talk things out at times, so that’s what I’ve hoped to do here briefly. If you don’t want to read, then it’s okay. I just really wanted to talk a little bit about it.

To be completely honest about it, it’s been rather rough for the last few days, though I’ve tried hard to fight it. I can’t really say exactly what’s bringing it on. I’ve struggled a lot, but it’s just been pretty bad lately, and affecting me big time.

On the bright side, I did have a nice visit today with my husband’s niece and her baby, who’s about six months old. That cheered me up a little, and it was fun to be around a small baby again (considering my children are nine and four). But this evening I’ve been finding my mind turning a little sour again, and it’s quite frustrating. I’ve talked to my doctor about it and how I’ve felt pretty hollow a lot of times, and they’re trying to help, but so far there’s not much luck. For that, I’m trying to keep myself busy with stuff around my house and making things, including stuff I share at the ‘O. I kind of hope that it helps in the long run, considering that I don’t like feeling like this.

Okay, kind of short, but I wanted to talk a little bit about that in hopes that it makes me feel better. If you read all of it, then I thank you for that. Good night *waves*

Like Standing Beside Myself

Image by Kurama-chan from Deviantart

Okay, so I'm kind of writing an honest post that's a bit personal, but I just wanted to talk about it a little and let it out. Hopefully I don't offend or scare anyone. Seriously, I'm not trying to worry anybody. I just wanted to get some stuff off my chest.

So recently I have been battling some severe depression again, and it's been making a lot of things more difficult for me. Although I've been trying to keep up doing creative things, it's been rough for me to either start or finish them. I kind of had to force myself to finish my last fanart of Mika, although I'm glad that I did because I do really like it myself. I've also been making myself brainstorm on some wallpapers, although that's been an even harder process recently. I did come up with the one from Tokyo Babylon today, but it took me longer then usual to make because I had no real clue as to what I was doing.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I really just feel down and feel like I'm not able to come up with things because I'm not good at them. Of course I know in my heart that this isn't true, that I do have a talent for them like all of us here, but I guess you could say that the mind is cruel a lot of times. When I get down like this, I kind of let myself start thinking that I'm just not good for anything. It's kind of weird though when I get like this. I do recognize it somewhat. Almost like standing right beside myself and looking at me sitting there with my head on my knees and wondering why.

Of course, right now, I'm just really trying to get myself out of this slump again too. It's just been a bit more difficult. I am trying though, and I feel like maybe talking about it here will help because it seems like I really can't talk to any of my family about it without them jumping to conclusions or telling me to snap out of it.

Well, that's about it for now. Thanks for reading if you did. I really appreciate all my friends here and the support you all give me, and I hope I can be here to support you all too if you need it.