There must be another part to this dream that I can't let go of
But somehow it keeps getting interrupted.....
"Even with this vague helping hand,
In a split second the cocoon's threads are torn apart and turn to ash"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Poems that lurk in the darkness of my mind will find their peace on this digital paper.....
~Aizome~
must've been something knit
but a missed impulse made it
unravel
from scratch rebuild all threads
of heart, of logic,
of faith and fate
it feels below pitiful
the vague chanted wish
of you to gain me
and of me to give my voice away.....
turn a blind eye and deaf ear
unaware
your words mean all
and mine never lift ground level
so you see it, i'm afraid
i'm afraid of being reduced
to an object of one's longing,
[nothing else]
must i be there only when
your heart desires?
without fail
without owned wording
.
.
.
unravel
but a missed impulse,
must've been something knit
i take it all as it is
with a slight bitter taste
inverted flight
fight gravity
[the fall]
rain on my mind
turning me blind
「な・み・だ」
wing of the wind
spread on a string
[re~ve~ri~a]
sound of the pond,
nothing is wrong
sway so gentle,
across the arc.....
.....regressive motion sliding on diafane surfaces, perfectly circular,
with no beginning nor end.....
in her eyes i noticed
how far away the mirrors reflect
how deep the mind embraced the song
and left it in the moonlight's swing
so trippy the aura, scent and sense
of this wandering soul's sound
her hymns in heart and tunes in flute
befallen my steps in oblivion~
she grasps the veils and tares them down
how painful is the skreech
of stars collapsing
and sun arising
[and the illusion breaks]
side note: niemand=nobody(in German)
a beautiful white ash falls
in the shape of snow
somewhere a dim light decreases and pain grows.....
it burns so much, it stings the eyes, mind and heart
[the nothingness out the window bathed in the mental storm]
i have no life to turn to as i cry, not a soul to cherish
the sky tares the night open
no love survived my outburst.....as it ran away.....
iron threads descend, a corset wraps itself around my ribs,
every cold fiber twists, in a bizarre pattern,
grasping living tissue, pulsing agony.....
[the mind's own mind screams madness
and the grip emaciates the reason]
forgive my kindness, forgive my sacrifice for you
unworthy as i stand,
i feel your betrayal in your final words
.....my world shut down.....
it is limited by my selfish wish, the urge to let you go
because to you i gave it all
and my words froze in my throat.....
wasn't my soul enough to substitute words.....[?]
or human nature tricked us both?
****
a beautiful white ash falls
in the shape of snow
somewhere a dim light decreases and pain grows.....
another day of wandering is weaving.....
[the compass no longer shows North]
you stand in a corner
engulfed in iridiscent smoke
gazing out the window
holding my hand
music chimes nearby
we don't hear it
i tie my eyes to your image
you stand oblivious
and we walk away
sharp scents pierce the air
wooden essences, leather, lace and cotton
rock, grunge, hippie, indie
in the lenses, deep oceans reflect,
unravel, scatter
all we think we do
and doesn't happen~
we are parallel, nothing holds us now
had a moment of reaching, passion burst
and we share shame under the label of
'friends'.....we are fake my love
throwing pebbles in the water,
ripples cease.....it can't be changed
we aim to something we can't miss
and yet our sight is blurred
by envy
~selfishness~
see you next week
at the next music lesson
