It feels like it's been forever since I saw BR. I mean.... The last time I saw her was at her grad party about a month ago. *Sigh* I'm missing her so badly. I mean, whenever I try to call her, I can't get ahold of her. I'm thinking abou ther CONSTANTLY and I just can't help it.
I feel so crappy without her. I have to face a school year without her... I have to face going MONTHS without seeing her. I hate this! IF ONLY I HADE BEEN A GRADE UP!!! I would have only had to face one year without her and then I could be with her all I wanted. Things are hard. Our relationship started out really slow. Like.... We really didn't even KISS the first year we started dating. And... Well....It may seem like I regret that, but I don't. I wasn't rushed into an uncomfterable situation... I mean... Occasionally I beacame extreamly shy, but she's so bold and outgoing. EVERYONE likes her. She always dissagrees with me on some of the things I say about her like, she's really smart! She doesn't think she is, but she is! I love her because she's so.... Unique.... She's likable by all, but at the same time, she retains her individuality! That's one of the reasons I fell in love with her. She's really creative and she has a style all her own. It's good! I love the way she draws! She doubts herself sometimes, but who doesn't. I know she has a great life ahead of her, and (Not to sound selfish) I wanna be with her in her great life. I'm still SO YOUNG, but I know that what I feel for her is nothing but love. I can't go a DAY without thinking about her. Seems creepty, I know.
My mom always tries to lecture me on what love REALLY is! I believe you can fall in love only once in life. She's divorced, and she's trying to tell ME what love is!? Yeah right! GAH! I just wish she wasn't so closed minded about me being Bi. She doesn't wanna face the fact that I am what I am. *Sigh* I haven't told her that I'm dating BR. No... Not yet... A lot of problems can arise from that, I know it! *Sigh* I just wanna get the hell outta here with BR and live a life with her. I really hope that it's not one of those dreams that will never come true...
I'm sad.... I'm gonna try to get ahold of her as much as possible, but college is starting soon, so... I dunno how well that would work....
~Demon~
SOrry. I'm busy with my Phitibucket, so no picture today. *Sweat drop*
Well anyway, and NEED to talk about this dream I had lastnight... It was really... warming. Well, when I woke up I felt warm inside so yeah..
I'LL STOP ANYONE HERE NOW!!! THIS DREAM WAS SOMEWHAT "PERSONAL" BETWEEN MY GF AND I SO IF YOU DON'T FEEL COMFY READING IT THEN DON'T, PLEASE.
Anyway the dream started out sorrda strange I guess. I don't remember how it started out but I was near my F's house, but I walked away from it. Then later, towards the end of my dream I went back and BR (My GF) was there. I dunno. She wasn't waiting or anything, she was just... THERE. But I met up with her and I dunno. We were talking a little bit and I had said something about going to my Vacation house which was like RIGHT THERE. So I went in, but this other lady and her kid lived there too, so I just sorrda sneaked in and went into my room with BR. And yes, things got "Hot and Heavy", but only for like a moment. The most we got that time was I pinned her down on the bed and was kissing her. But the reason we had stopped was the lady who lived there knocked on my door (Which was locked) and said, "Demon? Are yoou here?" So I went to the door, opened it, and said yes. I had said that my friend wanted to see this place so I was hsowing her. No one is really suppose to know we are dating, so I didn't say GF. But her daughter and my nefue(sp?) came in... I don't really KNOW how my Nefue got there, but whatever. Anyway, they came in and were playing around, so obviously I couldn't continue. But I tryed to get them out while still being nice, but that didn't work out too well, ya know? so night came we all went to sleep. The next day I managed to get BR all to myself again, but like there was something wrong with the bed so I dunno... I kept falling off or something. FINALLY, I managed to pin her down and kiss her again. We got a little further, but I'm not giving those details. We didn't go "all the way" because There was a bunch of noise and a knock on the door. SO I had to tend to that. But then right after that my dream came to an end. *Sigh* twas a good dream but I think I know what it was comin from. You see earlier this monthI was talking to my GF on the phone saying I wanted to see her so I could give her her present. I didn't tell her what it was, but she said sex, RIGHT AWAY! I was red, as you can imagine... but I ended up thinking a lot about that. I mean.... I thought about it and thought about it and I kinda thought about how this november I'll be 17, of legal age and what not. So... what? Is this dream some sign that I DO wanna have sex with her? *Thinks* Maybe.... I dunno.... GAH! I'M SO CONFUZZLED!
~Demon~
XD HA HA! Well anywho. I think I'm gonna be using this place to just rant and post random facts that many people might find pointless, but interesting! I hope to have a world about Gay rights up soon since I;m Bi (90% Lesbian 10% Straigh). YEAH! Sorry, but I don't alow poeple that are Bias against Gay people to bug me. SORRY! ^_^ I have a Girlfriend, too, so she might just pop in every once in awhile, so don't be alarmed by the creepy person calling my sweetie...... I LEAVE YOU WITH ONE LAST THING: