It feels like it's been forever since I saw BR. I mean.... The last time I saw her was at her grad party about a month ago. *Sigh* I'm missing her so badly. I mean, whenever I try to call her, I can't get ahold of her. I'm thinking abou ther CONSTANTLY and I just can't help it.

I feel so crappy without her. I have to face a school year without her... I have to face going MONTHS without seeing her. I hate this! IF ONLY I HADE BEEN A GRADE UP!!! I would have only had to face one year without her and then I could be with her all I wanted. Things are hard. Our relationship started out really slow. Like.... We really didn't even KISS the first year we started dating. And... Well....It may seem like I regret that, but I don't. I wasn't rushed into an uncomfterable situation... I mean... Occasionally I beacame extreamly shy, but she's so bold and outgoing. EVERYONE likes her. She always dissagrees with me on some of the things I say about her like, she's really smart! She doesn't think she is, but she is! I love her because she's so.... Unique.... She's likable by all, but at the same time, she retains her individuality! That's one of the reasons I fell in love with her. She's really creative and she has a style all her own. It's good! I love the way she draws! She doubts herself sometimes, but who doesn't. I know she has a great life ahead of her, and (Not to sound selfish) I wanna be with her in her great life. I'm still SO YOUNG, but I know that what I feel for her is nothing but love. I can't go a DAY without thinking about her. Seems creepty, I know.

My mom always tries to lecture me on what love REALLY is! I believe you can fall in love only once in life. She's divorced, and she's trying to tell ME what love is!? Yeah right! GAH! I just wish she wasn't so closed minded about me being Bi. She doesn't wanna face the fact that I am what I am. *Sigh* I haven't told her that I'm dating BR. No... Not yet... A lot of problems can arise from that, I know it! *Sigh* I just wanna get the hell outta here with BR and live a life with her. I really hope that it's not one of those dreams that will never come true...

I'm sad.... I'm gonna try to get ahold of her as much as possible, but college is starting soon, so... I dunno how well that would work....

~Demon~