Welcome to the WORLD of Richard "Drazz" Townsend, author of the Webcomic "Otaku ~no~ Yen". Richard is a freelance writer as well as a toner/colorist. Visit Otaku ~no~ Yen on Mondays and Thursdays at http://www.otakunoyen.com

Con Plague of the Wooden Kind

I was just browsing the wonderful world of an image board when someone had posted something that really reminded me of something that needs to be dealt with on a large scale.

The post was a picture of a Yaoi Paddle, and the question was "WTF are these?"

I can sum up a long detailed answer into one word...Trouble.

I remember first seeing these a few years back at Anime Central. The ever infamous "Yaoi Vender" was selling these to every teen and tween with $20.00 (as well as Yaoi books, but that is not the point of this story). By the end of that weekend, I saw close to a hundred of those things being swung around all over the convention. I knew then they were trouble, and I today think the same thing. But let me go into a more detailed answer for what they are.

Numerous rumors have come around this great internet on why these things are so popular. The one I find most insane and humorous at the same time is what I like to call "The Dare." It seems that young ladies carry these things and use them to hit attractive males at the convention in hopes that the tagged male will then engage in a passionate interlude with another male of the same level of attractiveness. In other words..."SQUEEEE ZOMG YOU ARE TEH SMEX AND SHULD MAKE OUT WITH TEH OTHER SMEXY BOYZ SO WE CAN SQUEE SUM MORE!!!111ONE."

Another, and one that I might lend some credence to is that the terms "Seme" and "Uke" do tend to lend themselves to the terms "Master" and "Slave." The uninformed will see this as a gateway for BDS&M (Bondage, Domination, Sadism and Masochism). Where as the term Master and Slave do lend themselves to Domination and Submission, they do not always lend themselves the S&M. Are we trying to imply that ALL Yaoi is about Bishonen smacking each other around in order to incite sexual arousal in each other? I know that is not true.

The truth of the matter is as plain as the nose on my face. Money. Once the idea was thrown out there, the younger fandom decided that these we're must have items. All it took was one person making money off the idea to spawn an epidemic. In all sadness, to me, it just points out that Teenie and Tweenie Yaoi Fangirls will buy just about anything that has the word "Yaoi" printed on it.

I would like to point out that I do not believe all "Fangirls" fit into this mold. I know a great many Fangirls, and almost all of them are very normal, and are not the "Rabid" type that I speak of. I have no issues with anyone's fandoms, and encourage people to share their love of a particular genre. My issue comes with the blatant danger that comes with these paddles. Most props need to be peace bound and checked by convention staff to make sure they are safe, yet hyperactive teens are allowed to run through the convention with these things and smack others with them. It's not funny, it's assault, and it can injure people. To sound like my Mother, it's all fun and games till some one gets hurt.

Thankfully, many conventions are starting to put a stop to these paddles. Some are outright banning them from the convention, while others are allowing the sale of the item, but are requiring the purchase to be taken directly to the car or room and not to be brought out in public again. I think a banning of them is best, but to each their own.

Ultimately, I do hope that this is a passing fad, and hope that it passes soon. I hate to see someone's fandom getting a bad name because of a cheap dollar making idea that went way outta control. If it continues, I may have to market my own brand of "Dumbass" paddle and see how well those go.

~Drazz