Chapter Five: Forever Destiny
I didn’t hear any movement, any choking sounds, anything. I drew in a deep, sharp breath, and bowed my head, letting myself deflate slowly. I had failed. I couldn’t help him. Gildas was gone, Riku was gone…so why was I still here? Why was I still breathing? Why were any of us still breathing when they couldn’t? I closed my eyes, still not letting any more tears fall, and drew my knees up under my chin. I felt an arm around my shoulders, but I didn’t look to see who it was. I heard a gasp of shock, but I didn’t look to see why. I knew someone was saying my name, but I didn’t look to see who.
“Haru…” I could have sworn that was Riku saying my name. So I was dreaming, then. I could handle that. At least I was dreaming about Riku. I opened my eyes a little, and rested my head on his shoulder. “I-I wanted to say…that I’m sorry. I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t help you. There wasn’t anything I could do. I was so worthless; I didn’t help you when I should have done. I could have, I know I could have! There has to have been something I could have done! I’m…I’m sorry, Riku.” I felt Riku shake his head. “I’m here now. And you’re with me. Stay here with me. Because…if you go away, I’ll get lonely. I’ll get so lonely, and I won’t know what to do with myself.” I smiled for the first time in days. “What a wonderful dream…” I murmured.
My dream Riku laughed. “Then it’s a good thing this isn’t a dream.” I sat up, startled. This was where the dream could all go wrong. I looked around, and saw everyone gaping at me and Riku. So, was it real after all? I stood up. I wanted to say something, but there wasn’t anything. “If this were a dream, would this feel so real?” Riku asked, kissing me passionately. I didn’t know how long we were like that for, but it wasn’t long enough. It never would have been long enough. I smiled gently at him, and he took my hand. I hadn’t noticed just how cold my hand was until then.
But then I noticed something. Zexion. He wasn’t sobbing anymore. So then, he must be past crying loudly. I could see the occasional glistening tear fall from his face, and wanted to comfort him. But I knew that I shouldn’t. I couldn’t. Not when I could have saved Gildas. “You did a really good job with Gildas, you know,” Sora said softly. I shook my head. “How can you say that?” Sora looked puzzled. “He…he’s…look!” He pointed to Gildas, and I saw his chest rising and falling softly. “Oh…” What else was there to say? “Oh!” I cried, pulling Riku into a hug. “He’s alive! He’s alive…” I whispered. “He’s waking up,” Zexion called gently, and I whipped round. Sure enough, his eyes were opening slowly, and he pushed himself up, supported on his arms.
I flickered my eyes open. I’d only been asleep for five minutes (my strong senses told me) but I felt so much more energized, so much more…alive. I sat up, and Zexion pulled me into a deep hug before I could say anything else. And then I realised: my first thought from then wasn’t if anyone was worried, or how Riku was doing, or Haru, or anything like that. I couldn’t help but think… I knew Haru was okay with me being in love with guys, but what about the others? Did they mind? Obviously not, for no-one complained as Zexion swept me off my feet and held me close. No-one frowned in annoyance, or complained. They just smiled. Huge grins of happiness spreading from ear to ear, and finally, for the first time in my life… I felt loved.
I fell asleep again soon after. You can’t expect me to stay totally awake after expending all that energy, right? Again, I was only asleep for a few minutes, but when I woke up again, we were travelling, and I was curled tightly in a ball, carried in Zexion’s arms. I didn’t know he was this…strong! He always seemed so intellectual, I never imagined any major physical strength, but he was carrying me as if I were a bundle of feathers. We reached Lindblum, and stayed at the Inn. We rented three rooms: A three-bed room for Sora, Naminé and L, a room for Zexion and me, and a room for Haru and Riku. I snuggled up to Zexion, closed my eyes, and began to drift quickly into a deep, dreamless sleep. As I fell asleep, I wondered if Zexion was wearing his heart-patterned boxers…
The next day, we woke up to find a Messenger waiting for us in the Inn’s lobby. As it turns out, he was a messenger from King Cid, and we were invited to spend the day (and have a private audience) with him. We couldn’t exactly decline, and none of us wished to. We followed the Messenger (who was called Steiner) to the castle, and everyone gasped. The castle was immense, huge beyond description, and beautiful, unlike Castle Oblivion. We were invited inside, and the Messenger took us to a private lounge while he introduced us to the King. Everyone walked to the doors, but we were told that everyone was to see the King separately (“It’s just how he is”). First, Zexion entered, and came out only a few minutes later with a scroll in his hands. He’d tell me about that later, it’d do no good to pry about it now. Naminé entered second, spent a little longer inside, and came out with a tear-stained face, but a large smile. She had also lost that plain white dress of hers, and was now dressed in a long, flowing garment of purest green, setting off her hair beautifully.
Sora and Riku demanded that they go together, as they wished to never be separated again. Best friends till the end, they entered, and spent slightly less time than Naminé. When they came out, Riku was grinning wildly, a new, golden blade in his belt, but Sora seemed to have nothing. Upon closer inspection, he was given a new chain, pure gold, with a platinum crown. This, he was told, would bring his Keyblade to the next level, and when he chose to attach it to his Keyblade, his ties with Roxas would be renewed. Roxas would never return, but all his powers would once again belong to Sora, including the new ones. Sora would be able to wield two Keyblades, and he could then fulfil his promise to Naminé. Then, L walked in, still leaning forward. This may have been a King, but it was clear to me L was used to helping royalty, and wouldn’t change for anyone. Someone of his reputation couldn’t afford to be careless. He walked out a few minutes later, with nothing. He had refused a gift. “It’s my job. I help people in need. I don’t need a reward.”
Then came Haru’s turn. She looked worriedly at Riku, who smiled and held her hand. She then walked to the door, turned to me and smiled. For the first time in a long time, she was genuinely smiling. The door closed quietly behind her. I turned to Zexion, who smiled and ran his fingers through my hair. Haru was talking to the King, but I couldn’t hear what she was saying…
I walked into the room nervously, knotting my fingers together uncomfortably. The king turned out to be quite old, with greying hair. He smiled at me warmly, and I tried to smile back, but I couldn’t manage it. Instead, I blinked, and stared at the floor, scuffing my shoe anxiously. What would he want to talk about? “So, Haru.” I looked up quickly; I didn’t want to seem rude. “How are you feeling?” I was confused, but I answered all the same. “I’m…exhausted.” The king didn’t say anything, just looked at me, waiting on my next words.
“I just don’t have any energy left. It’s been so hard, in such a short space of time. Everything’s been going on, and I haven’t had a choice in any of it. I just want to sleep. I want to sleep for days, and wake up somewhere safe and warm, where I can have some stability, you know?” The king nodded. “So where do you think this safe, warm place is then?” he asked wisely. I closed my eyes, and answered without thinking. “In Riku’s arms…” The king laughed happily. “So you fell in love on this journey then?” I nodded. “Yep. And it’s so painful. But it is worth every minute of pain, because the happy moments are worth years of sunshine.”
The king rose to his feet. “Well then. You have proven to me that you are a very emotional person.” I shrank back. Was that bad? “It isn’t bad. It isn’t necessarily good, but it definitely isn’t bad. You are a very good companion for Gildas. I can trust you to look after him.” I shook my head. I couldn’t believe I was interrupting a king, but oh well. “I don’t look after him at all, sir. He looks after me. If I lost him, I…don’t know what I would do. I have failed him so many times since we started this whole journey, and yet every time he’s forgiven me. I don’t deserve a friend as good as him.”
King Cid looked me over again. “I don’t think you realise how much you have helped him simply by being there, child. In any case, I’m sure you are anxiously waiting to get back to your little friends. I shall not delay you any longer. But I must ask you, Haru. What is it you wish in return?” I was confused. “What would you ask of me, for your reward? There must be something?” I shrugged. “What I want for my reward…?” I wondered. I had Riku and Gildas and Namine and everyone else. So what else could I possibly ask for? “I want Riku and Gildas and Namine to be happy,” I said confidently. Because that was the one thing I could ever ask for. The king raised his eyebrows. “Is that so? Well, unfortunately I can’t give you that. So instead, I shall simply have to choose for myself what you should be given. I think you deserve this.”
The King walked away, and opened a chest behind me. He pulled out a beautiful new robe. It was dazzling white, and looked lighter than air. “This is a Mage Robe, made by the Viera that dwell in Golmore Jungle. The threads that make up this unique garment are thinner than a spider’s gossamer strand, and yet the robe itself will never tear or break. And, whilst you wear it, the strength of your magic will be doubled.” He laid it into my arms, and I gazed at it. It was so beautiful. “I…I can’t!” I protested weakly. The king nodded. “Yes, you can. And you shall. Now, if you wouldn’t mind, I need to have a word with another of your little friends.” I took that as an invitation to leave, and did so. Once outside, I slipped the robe on (it seemed to fit me perfectly), and walked over to Riku, Zexion and Gildas. “Go on, then Gildas,” Riku said. Zexion squeezed his hand, and Gildas walked through the giant doors.
Why do I always have tactless thoughts in these situations? I walk through the doors, noticing the gold finish and exquisite patterns. I enter the throne room, politely close the doors behind me, and walk forward. I kneel before the throne. (I wonder what gift I’ll get? Stop Stop STOP You’re in front of a KING be COURTEOUS) “Good day, sire. How may I be of service?” (sweet.) The King seemed impressed. “You are well mannered, Gildas. I thought you would be, or hoped, rather. You may rise.” I stood up, and bowed slightly before standing straight. The King was shorter than me, by at least 4 inches, so slightly taller than Haru. He had greying, silvery hair, and a large moustache that had gone white with age. He was unlike most kings, neither fat nor slim, not obese but not physically fit. He just…was. “Now. I have spoken to all of your friends in turn, and they have each received a gift, barring L. He refused, though I would have given him anything he wished, with his reputation. What I haven’t found-“ He paused, leaned closer to me from his throne, “is an account of your travels.” I nodded. “I warn you, Sire, this may take a while to re-tell…” He waved his hand. “I am comfortable.” He clicked his fingers, and a guard came over with a Silver-backed chair. “Please, sit, and tell me of your travels.” I took the seat, thanking the guard, who nodded and returned to his post at the wall. “It all began one morning, less than a year ago. Har-“ I paused. Less than a year ago. I couldn’t believe it. I’d missed my birthday… I thought back. No worries. That night was the third night I spent asleep in Zexion’s arms. “Forgive me. Haru asked to meet with me and…“
I told him every detail. Everything, from my dancing to Zexion’s kisses, from Demyx’s car-shaped bed to Ansem’s summoning of Bahamut. I skipped nothing, though I dulled a few parts down. Some things were not for a King’s ears. When I had finished, I felt quite tired and thirsty. I dared not ask His Majesty for a drink, however. I had to stop myself from crying when I retold Haru’s suicide (I will NEVER cry again. Never. I have to be strong…), but other than that I was quite composed. The King leaned closer as the story unfolded, particularly interested in the battles and magic. When I was finished, he sat back, composed himself.
“You have been on quite the journey, haven’t you? The two of you- You and Haru, that is- have died, and been reborn, more than once. Do you not see this as a sign?” I looked quizzically at His Majesty. “I do not believe I understand, my Lord?” He chuckled. “Show me your scythe, Gildas. The emerald one on your back.” I unsheathed the scythe and held it to him. “Exalta Dissidia Gildas.” He said, “Gildas’ Royal Lineage.” It suddenly hit me. “You do not mean, Sire-“ He nodded calmly. “Yes, Gildas. You, despite our age gap, happen to be my nephew, the last remaining heir to my throne. I shall die quite soon, I can feel it, and you shall replace me and rule this kingdom. I pray you rule it fairly.” I smiled, a great grin that shocked from ear to ear. “I hope you understand, Gildas, why I cannot give you a gift for your hardships.” I bowed. “Of course, Sire.” He chuckled again. “Please, call me Cid.”
I thanked him several times, before returning to my friends. I decided to be a bit mean, trick them. I walked out, glumly, a frown on my face. “Gildas, what’s wrong? Why did you spend so much time in there, what did he give you?” That was Haru. I sat down. Shook my head. “Nothing. I told him everything we went through, the entire journey from start to finish and he gave me… nothing.” Haru looked shocked. “What? You mean after all that, you don’t get a thing?” L interjected. “You need to remember: You’ve gained a lot from this journey without his gifts. You have Zexion now, correct?” I smiled slightly. “Don’t get me wrong, I love you with all my heart Zexion, but I expected something a little more…” Naminé saw through me, knowing my memories and all. She clapped her hand to her mouth. “Gildas, stop lying at once and tell everyone the truth!” I giggled. “You got me. I come out empty handed because I can’t hold the gift he gave me. Remember the scythe, ‘Exalta Dissidia Gildas’? Cid’s my uncle. My gift… is what we’re standing on right now. No, not the rug,” I snapped, seeing Sora lift his finger and smile, “The Castle. The kingdom. Lindblum… is my destiny…”
We were all stunned into silence. So Gildas was going to be…a king, someday. Wow. What do you say to that? We just stood there for an eternity, gaping at Gildas, who was grinning from ear to ear. Eventually we were summoned to dinner, and followed the knight who had escorted us here in silence. Everyone tucked into the enormous banquet – except for me. I couldn’t eat. I wasn’t hungry in the slightest. If Gildas was king, then that meant…that I wouldn’t be able to see him all the time. I wouldn’t be able to just text him asking if he wanted to meet up. Everything was going to change.
The meal finished, and King Cid ordered Steiner to take us to the guest room. Except for Gildas and Zexion; they got to sleep in one of the royal suites. I went to bed in a single bed next to Riku’s bed, but I couldn’t sleep. I plucked at the corner of my pillows unhappily, thinking about what was going to happen next. Gildas would stay here; most likely Zexion would stay here with him. L would go home. Sora and Namine would go back to Destiny Islands – and Riku would go, too. I wanted to go with Riku, but…what if he didn’t want me to? “What are you worrying about now?” Riku’s voice floated over from his bed, surprising me. “I thought you were asleep,” I whispered. “I just…I just don’t know what’s going to happen next…” I could hear a lot of rustling sounds, and then Riku clambered into my bed next to me, putting his arms around me.
“Well. L will go home. Gildas and Zexion will stay here. The rest of us will go home, to Destiny Islands. That includes you, now, whether you like it or not. And we’ll visit Gildas and he’ll visit us as much as possible. That’s what’s going to happen. We’ll get our happy ending, I promise. Everything’s going to be perfect.” I smiled softly. “I don’t want perfect.” Riku laughed. “What do you mean?” I chose my next words carefully, but it still came out wrongly I think. “Perfection…scares me. I can’t stand the idea of perfection. I hate fresh snow, organized rooms, new boxes of chalk. Stuff like that. If everything’s perfect…I feel like I can’t breathe. So let’s not go for perfect. Okay?” Riku nodded, wrapping his arms tighter around me. I felt safe there; I had found my place in the world.
I hadn’t noticed when I fell asleep, but I definitely remembered waking up to Riku’s smiling face. I jumped out of bed. “Were you watching me sleep?” I cried. He laughed and nodded. “My bad?” I raised an eyebrow. “I would have rathered you woke me up, you know.” He laughed again. I wished I could curl up inside Riku’s laugh; it was so carefree and warm. “Where’s everybody else?” I asked, stretching my arms. Riku shrugged. “Breakfast, I guess.” We dressed quickly and went down to the dining room.
Sure enough, everyone was tucking into breakfast when we arrived. We sat down, and I finally tucked into some food. It felt like weeks since I had last eaten. I actually didn’t remember the last time I had swallowed anything solid. I ate until I was full, and then put my knife and fork down. “That was the best breakfast I have ever had,” I declared. Cid laughed. I jumped; I hadn’t noticed him at all.
After breakfast, L, Sora, Namine, Riku and I had to pack up our things. Everyone wanted to be out of Lindblum and homeward bound as soon as possible. Everyone except for me, that is. I packed my things up as slowly as I could, trying to postpone the moment we had to say goodbye. But the moment had to come, of course. Cid had commissioned a ship to take us straight home, a beautiful ship with sky blue sails that merged with the sky. Cid had some important business to attend to and so couldn’t wave us off, but Gildas and Zexion were there.
“Bye Gildas. Come see us soon, okay?” Gildas nodded at us. He didn’t say a word, but Zexion said a quick goodbye. It was difficult to walk away from him, but I had to. Riku took my hand as we walked down the pier. Once we were all safely on the boat, it set sail. I stood at the front with Riku, waving at Gildas and Zexion as they disappeared slowly. “You’ll see them again soon. I promise,” Riku murmured in my ear. I nodded once, and went in search of a cabin. I needed to sit down for a while. In comparison to getting there, it took no time at all to get from Lindblum to Destiny Islands. We disembarked and slung our stuff in the hut after waving goodbye to L. “It’s weird. I used to get on with L really well, but now I don’t really like him very much.” Riku laughed at that. I poked him feebly, and we had a finger fight.
Sora and Namine moved to Twilight Town permanently, but they came over to visit most days. Riku and I spent sun soaked days on the beach and warmth filled nights in the wooden hut. I never wanted this to end. A few months later, we got a visit from a very happy Gildas and Zexion. “Sir!” I cried, bowing to him jokily. He punched me lightly. We chatted for hours. Him and Zexion were getting along better than ever, and Gildas was a brilliant king. “Everyone loves him!” Zexion said fondly. They had to leave the next day, though. It was great to see them, and it wasn’t too bad when they left. “A goodbye isn’t sad unless you’re never going to say hello again,” I whispered to Gildas as we hugged goodbye, and they sailed away.
Later that day, I got a note delivered in a bottle. “Anyone for clichés?” I asked jokily. Riku smiled at me. “All sorts of things get washed up here. Bottled messages are pretty common.” I nodded, and pulled the paper out of the bottle. I scanned the page. It was from L. Riku tried to read over my shoulder, but couldn’t make out the writing. “It basically just says that he’s well, bla bla blaa…And he’s wondering if I’m looking after the Death Note. Weird. I haven’t seen it in ages. Have you?” Riku shook his head.
I jogged back to the hut, and rifled through all my things. No Death Note. Riku helped me look, but we had to admit defeat eventually. “It’s not here. It must have been stolen or something.” I chewed my lip thoughtfully. “But I have to get it back. I don’t have any choice; that book is my responsibility. It could be the world’s worst murder weapon if it fell into the wrong hands.” Riku nodded, and took my hand. “But let’s leave it a while, okay? Let’s just be happy for a while.” I nodded and led him back to the beach. Things were good.
The man shook his golden-brown hair into place. He flicked it out of his eyes (I hate it when that happens.) He checked himself over. Knife? Check. Dashing good looks? Check. Tail? Check. He was all set. He looked down at the Black notebook in his hands, “Death Note…” He murmured. What a joke! This college notebook wasn’t even worth taking! If only he’d looked for something else, but then- the two people did enter the hut quite quickly, he didn’t have a choice. He checked the pages. Name after name after- blank. He flicked to the previous page, only a single name. “Haru Jones. Dies at the tender age of 78 after living a long, happy and prosperous life.” What a load of rubbish! He didn’t even bother to check the first page, covered in rules. He never did follow rules, anyway. He flipped to the back. An inscription in red ink covered the last page: “With My Death My Sister Is Near, I Shall Reunite Her. Rem.” This Rem was the guy’s sister? What a name! That was almost painfully bad. “Zidane!” the familiar voice rose from the floor below. “Coming!” He threw the notebook into the trunk by his bed. Stuff that, he had better treasures to find. He began talking to himself as he walked out the door. “I think I’ll give old King Cid a visit…”
The End
