I ran ahead, the doors leading into the building opening automatically as I got close. Funny, I thought. It was weird how interesting technology seemed when you’d been away from it for so long. I walked in, Zexion catching up with me. I looked at the scenery. And then I looked up. And immediately wished I hadn’t done. There, attached to the ceiling, covering its entire length, and width, was the coiled body of an immense Sea Serpent. Leviathan wasn’t even locked away. That meant one of two things... Either it was so weak it didn’t need to be, or so strong the attempts to do so had failed. I gulped. This was not a good sign at all.
Leviathan uncoiled itself. Dropped to the floor of the Lab. Axel and Sora ran in, and then stopped in their tracks. What was it my mother once told me? If you’re scared, imagine everyone in their underwear. It’ll make you laugh, as well as calm you down. And so I looked at Leviathan, and shut my eyes. Leviathan in Zexion’s pink-heart underwear. I chuckled, then I felt an immeasurable sorrow crash onto me. Mother... Father... I killed them, didn’t I... Zexion shook me. “Gildas? Focus, dearest, please focus!” I snapped back. Leviathan was coiled, ready to strike. I thought of mother... realising that the summon who killed her would be the only one to save me now. How ironic.
I stepped forwards, in front of everyone else. Leviathan sprung forward. Just as his scaly forehead connected with my hand, I screamed. “DIAMOND DUST!” Leviathan froze. Literally, actually. Then, I placed my hands on its cheeks, feeling the warmth of the Ice beneath them. “Hellfire.” I said soothingly, and the ice containing Leviathan melted. Leviathan could’ve moved to strike. Should’ve. But it didn’t. It lay there, it’s head in my hands. And oddly, it began to purr. A serpent, purring. But that’s what it did. I looked into Leviathan’s eyes. “Would you come with me? I could use your help... Please?” I asked. Leviathan rose. Nodded its’ head. Vanished. Instinctively, I now knew the Dance of the Deluge.
Zexion smiled. Hugged me tightly. “That was very brave, my love...” I smiled. “Not as brave as you making a portal in Darkness!” I laughed. Zexion did not. “I... I had to. Castle Oblivion has... an effect on those who enter it uninvited. If you enter the Castle, and you aren’t a member of our Organization, then as you climb the castle... you lose your memories. They begin to fade... one by one, until there’s none left.” He looked guilty. “I should’ve told you. There’s a girl, Naminé, who does this. She’s connected to the castle, she has no choice. She’s where she belongs... but her power remains. I couldn’t risk you losing your memories, not for anything. You’d forget Haru, and your home...” He stopped. “More importantly, I’d forget you...” I said, and hugged him tight. Why hadn’t he told me this sooner?
And then it hit me. I couldn’t explain it, but I knew something was wrong. Did one of the Aeons have psychic powers? I had no clue... but something was wrong. Zexion said... people lost their memories... Marluxia obviously hadn’t, so he must have had control over Naminé... but something has agitating me... something... at the back of my mind... I had the feeling that something had happened to Haru... But what? Nothing could’ve happened; she had Riku and L with her... and Sha’dak too. He was quiet, last I saw him. And then it hit me.
Castle Oblivion. Haru. L. Riku. Oblivion. Naminé. Memory. Oblivion... What if they entered the Castle? They wouldn’t know! “Come on! We need to get to the Castle!” Zexion looked confused. “I don’t know how... but for some reason I think Haru is there!” Zexion looked troubled. “I can’t just teleport us there...” I screamed at him. “Then let’s go! Come on!” I dragged everyone out, and we began to run back to the Moonflow.
I turned away from the giant doors, and sighed. Even if I could get out, there was nowhere for me to go and nobody for me to be with. I had better get looking for Gildas, then. I took a few steps forward, and then a portal of darkness materialized just ahead of me, forcing me to stop walking. A person in a long, black coat stepped out. “Demyx?” I asked tentatively. The person shook their head. “Axel?” The person laughed. “Nope.” At least I knew it was a man, now – that was better than knowing nothing. “Zexion?” All my hope hung on the next answer I got. “Not even close,” the man laughed, lowering his hood.
The man stood before me had long, blonde hair, and was a lot older than the other three people wearing black coats I had met. “My name is Vexen. Welcome to Castle Oblivion, where to find is to lose, and to lose is to find…” He smirked. “Play nicely.” And with that, he left me alone again, to ponder his words. I didn’t understand what he had met, and I was annoyed that he had left without giving me a chance to ask about Gildas. Still, there was something about that man, and this place, that frightened me. I pulled my coat tighter around me, and gripped my staff tightly. Steeling myself, I walked on.
I climbed a set of stairs, but came out in a room exactly like the one I had just been in. I tried opening a few doors, but they were all locked. Then, I felt it. I wasn’t quite sure what I felt…it felt like I had…dropped something. I looked around, checking that I hadn’t, and was thoroughly confused when I couldn’t see anything. “Have you…lost something?” It was another person in a black coat – but this time, I could tell it was a woman. “Oh dear, I wonder what it could be…What on earth could you have dropped?” Her mocking tone frustrated me, but I knew not to pick a fight with someone when I didn’t know how strong they were. “Have you seen a boy, about my age, with dark hair? He’s with-”
I was cut off by three spiky weapons flying at me. This woman was vicious! I ducked behind a white pillar, and when I peeked out, she had vanished. Now I was really angry, and punched the pillar to try and vent my anger. That was a bad idea…Nursing my swollen hand, I carried on down the corridor, but I still couldn’t shake the feeling that I was losing something…On the next floor up, I wanted to shout. It looked exactly the same as the floors I had already walked down! Man, what was with this place? But then I saw something. Halfway down the corridor…
There was a girl. She was maybe a year older than me, with long, white hair and a simple white dress. Her, I could handle. She didn’t look at all scary; probably because she wasn’t wearing a black coat. “Hey,” I said nervously, “have you seen…” I stopped talking. What was I here to do? Why had I come here? The girl started crying softly. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, in between sniffs. “I am so sorry…” I shook my head. “Have you seen…have you seen…have you seen what I’m looking for?” Why couldn’t I remember?! The girl shook her head, tears still flooding out of her eyes. “I’m sorry…I didn’t want to!” She ran away, and I sat on the floor; there wasn’t anywhere else to sit.
What was I here for? I could have been looking for someone…I thought about Riku, L, Sha’dak, Axel, Zexion…Gildas. But it just made things worse. I knew what they were like, but I…I was having trouble recalling their faces. What was happening to me? Another person in black appeared at the end of the hallway, but I had no will to get up. I couldn’t even be bothered to stand up when he drew his weapon. A long, blue spear came flying towards me, but I didn’t move. All I could do was close my eyes. There was a loud clang; was that what death sounded like? I opened one eye, only to see a long, emerald scythe in front of me. Holding onto it…that couldn’t be…Could it? I remember thinking, ‘This is impossible…’
We got back to Castle Oblivion. Running, it had only taken us a few hours, but to speed our travel I had Typhoon place the wind behind our backs, decreasing the time it took to get there, if only slightly. I forced open the doors. Zexion shouted. “No! Gildas, don’t!” But it was far too late. The door began to close, and I turned to see Zexion, tears in his eyes, running to keep open the door. He was too late. The door slammed shut, and wouldn’t budge. I heard Zexion crying softly from inside. I wouldn’t find this out till much later, but Sora had put his hands in front of his face, in a weak attempt to hide his own tears. He quickly stopped. “Who turned out the lights?”
I was worried. Very worried. I knew Haru was here, I knew it... But which floor? And how many memories had she lost? How much further would she go? I had to find her, fast. I checked the doors on either side. Locked. No... The knob didn’t budge an inch. Not locked... Fake. Fake doors. One door remained, up a few small steps. As I reached the top stair, a sound (Suction?) came from behind me. I turned, to see a man (or a woman with a man’s figure) standing behind me. He (She?) lowered their hood. A man. Thought so. Young... you could see that in his eyes... but the wrinkles lining his face made him seem older. He worked with Zexion. “Another newcomer. Welcome to Castle Oblivion.” He laughed, obviously mocking me. Another newcomer?... Haru! I slashed my scythe to the right (Part 3 of my training) narrowly missing his chest. He looked surprised. Then laughed again. He clicked his fingers. Suction. Blackness, like Zexion used. Gone.
I was concerned now. Haru would be in trouble if this happened every five minutes! I checked the door. Real. Unlocked. I opened it, and couldn’t believe my eyes. If it wasn’t for the fact that I wasn’t at the far end... I could’ve sworn it was the same room. Totally the same. 100%. Even the marble petals on the marble flower sculptures seemed to... and when I checked, did have the same pattern, and even faced the same direction. A perfect copy. And then another person in a black coat turned up. Female, this time. The way she had her hips showed that in seconds. “You lost something?” She asked. Strange question. What did she care if I had...? Then it hit me. I had. A memory... Vi... Veev... Vevv... huh? What happened?... Of course. Castle Oblivion... and more importantly, Naminé’s powers. “I’m losing my memories... just like Axel and Zexion told me I would...” That angered the girl. “Axel!? That traitor! You’re friends with him, huh? Take this!” She brought her left hand up, and pulled out three short throwing daggers. But I wasn’t concerned about that. That was just to distract me while she expertly lifted her right arm into the air... perfectly the way Haru did before a Thunder spell. I reacted, quicker than lightning (I’m sorry, I just had to say that!). “Thunda...” She cried. Too late. “Diamond Dust!”
The girl stood there. Eyes wide open in shock. Mouth, still forming that last syllable. As she began the spell, she had flung her head back, removing the hood and showing off some high-maintenance blonde hair. Her daggers still clutched, hand up, fingers twisted... Perfectly positioned. I struck. Slash. The ice cracked. Slice. Slash. Slash. The ice cracked into hundreds of pieces. The woman fell to the floor. A card slipped from her sleeve. “Number XII, The Savage Nymph” and underneath, in scrawny, girly print... “Larxene”. The last ‘e’ twirled round at the end. Larxene, number twelve... eliminated. I continued past her body, forward to the next door. The further I went, the more memories I’d lose. That didn’t matter. As long as Haru was safe. Next floor. Empty. I continued to the door... shuffling footsteps behind me... I turned, seeing a shadow move as a door closed. Those doors were fake... I was sure of it...
I turned back to the door. Another floor, more memories... Forget it. Ouch, pun. It didn’t matter. I had to find... Who was it again? A girl... shorter than me... my age? Brown... no, blonde hair... Halu? Hanu? I couldn’t remember. I’m sure it could wait. If I couldn’t remember, she couldn’t be that important. I opened the door. A girl was slumped on the floor. Blonde hair. Havu? Why couldn’t I remember? Odd. But the man at the far end of the room had a blue spear in his hand. He lunged. The spear hurtled towards the girl. This wasn’t right! I leapt, my scythe at the ready, and slashed the air before the girl. The spear clashed harmlessly against my scythe. The words on the shaft lost their glow. They’d been fading slightly since I entered. Why? Was it because I was on my own? Was it because I was away from Sora, Or Aspel, or Fex... Rex... Lex... What was his name? That... blue hair... or was it white? Didn’t he... hate me? Or... was it hate my clothes? I couldn’t remember.
The man dropped his hood. Black hair, in plaits (or dreadlocks, I couldn’t see from here) fell around his neck. Ha.. Hay... Hah... the girl looked up. She looked happy. I had just saved her life. “You came...” She said. I came? I was meant to come here? Why? Did she know me? The man laughed. “You look confused. Allow me to help. My name’s Xaldin. And you’re supposed to be dead.” He pointed at me. “I wouldn’t have killed you, my pretty...” The finger switched to the girl, “Because Lexaeus wants you all to himself. He didn’t say I couldn’t break an arm or two though...” And threw another blue spear. I jumped forward, parried the blow. “I don’t know who you are,” I said to the girl, “But I’m not letting you get hurt!” I opened my hand. “Hellspire!” Nothing. “Hell... Choir... Hell... Pyre? Hair Dryer?” Why couldn’t I... what was I even doing? Talking nonsense? I lunged forward. Scythe at the ready. Sliced. I gashed his leg. Slash. His left arm now useless. I pushed him to the ground. He looked up. Smiled. Suction. Black. Gone.
I had to think hard about this. This boy, he was about my age, with dark hair…”W-What’s your name?” I stammered. He looked around at me and blinked. “I owe you my life, you know? So I would like to know your name.” He nodded slowly. “I guess that makes sense. Alright then. My name’s Gildas.” I took the name in, and my brain seemed to cross-reference it with everything I knew. It seemed to click slowly at first, but then everything made sense – well, almost everything. There were still lots of fuzzy patches, but I knew I had left somewhere important to find this boy, and yet…
I felt hollow. “You…you really don’t remember me, do you?” I laughed bitterly. This was just my luck. I managed to find Gildas (well, he found me, but it had the same outcome), but now he had no idea who I was. Gildas was looking at me, slightly puzzled. That look…seeing him look at me like that made me want to cry. Who was there in this castle that would help us? Nobody wearing a black coat, I was sure of that. Then I remembered; there had been someone here, about my age. Were they a girl? I wasn’t sure, but I thought so…”Hey, buddy?” It pained me to address Gildas as ‘buddy’, but calling him by his name would hurt even more. “Thanks for saving me. I…I think I would have died if you didn’t stop it. Let me repay you! I can give you a really good present if you just come with me…” I dragged Gildas by the hand, and started trying to open random doors. The girl…I don’t think she went upstairs.
I was almost ready to give up, and Gildas looked like he was getting bored, when the door in front of me opened. Finally! I pulled Gildas inside, and pushed him down onto a chair. He tried to protest, but I didn’t listen. I was focusing more on the girl sat in the chair opposite him, separated from us by a great white table. The whole room was white, actually. I was getting dizzy from all the brightness; what I wouldn’t give for a good old black room. “Who are you?” I asked quietly. “Can you help us?” The girl looked up, and I could see that her eyes were pink, and tears were still falling down her face. “I’m…” She stopped talking and shook her head, sending droplets of her tears flying.
“I’m trying my very hardest…But it could take a while…I want to put everything back together, because…because you’re friends with Sora and Riku. And because you’ve helped me so much. I am so sorry…” Her voice was weak, but her answer hadn’t helped me at all. “What do you mean?” I yelled, trying to vent all my anger. “What is going on? Why won’t anybody just tell me what’s going on! Please, please, just make him remember me…Let him know who I am, how much he matters to me…He’s all I have left now…Please…” I looked at the girl again.
“I…can’t explain everything. But you’ve lost your memories, and I’m the person who can put them back together. It’ll just take a while…” I nodded, exhausted, and went to walk out. I couldn’t stay still, I needed to move, I needed to do something. That was when I felt a hand on my arm. “H-H…Ha…” I looked at Gildas. “I’ll be back in a minute, okay?” As I shut the door behind me, I wondered about what would happen if he didn’t remember me. I felt so terrible now that I had forgotten him, but it didn’t matter at all to him…
I sighed, and stepped away from the door. What had the girl meant when she said, “you’re friends with Sora and Riku,” I wondered. “Who’s Riku? Why don’t I know who he is? Why does his name give me a feeling of warmth that I just can’t explain? Just what the hell is going on?” I hadn’t spoken that loudly, but the sound of my voice bounced off of the empty white walls. It made me feel so lonely, somehow…I wanted somebody to hold me in their arms and tell me everything was okay. And I think it was this mysterious Riku that I wanted.
A scream sounded through the door behind me. “Gildas!” I gasped, and wrenched the door open. Inside, there was a dark portal, and a man in a black coat had stepped out of it. He was quite muscular, and carried a large red and black weapon of some sort. I would have likened it to a sword rather than anything else, but it curved over at the end and doubled back on itself. I was more interested in what he held in his other hand – the blonde girl. She was struggling, but she looked like a stick person in his mighty grip. “Haru!” breathed Gildas. “We can’t let him take her!”
I noticed that he had used my name, and so must remember me, but there was nothing we could do about it now. “Put her down!” I pleaded. There were still things I couldn’t remember, and I needed this girl to help me. The man raised his eyebrows. “Put her down? Okay.” His voice was cold, and he dropped the girl to the floor. He started to walk towards me now, fiddling with his giant blade as he walked. “My name is Lexaeus.” That sounded familiar…Oh! Xaldin had brought him up…
“Ack!” Just as Lexaeus was within reach of me, he stopped, and gasped in pain. Protruding out of his chest was the tip of Gildas’s scythe. Lexaeus faded away, and Gildas was left there, looking very smug with himself and balancing his scythe carefully on his shoulder. We both laughed, and hugged tightly for a long time. I felt so relieved…and I realised then just how lucky I was. “Oh!” I exclaimed – we had forgotten about the girl completely! I ran over to her, where she lay on the floor. She wouldn’t move.
I checked that the girl was breathing – which she was – and then tried to wake her by shaking her gently. She didn’t react at all. It was strange though; even though she wasn’t conscious, she was floating a few inches above the ground. “Her name is Naminé,” Gildas said. I nodded. “Let’s take her to…to…what was his name? The person who wakes people up and makes people better. Who was he again?” Gildas looked at me, and I looked at him, noticing the utter astonishment in his eyes. “You mean L?” he asked tentatively. I didn’t answer him. I couldn’t. I didn’t know what the right answer was…
L... the name sounded so familiar... A... Pink... no, White Mage? He could help Naminé! We had to get her out, so I opened the door to the previous room. Me and Har... Argh! I almost had it... Haro? Me and her walked in, and moved to the door down the steps. Nothing. Hand. Handle. Turn. Nothing. It was locked. We were trapped, unless we went further, and lost more memories... we may forget Naminé, or each other, or ourselves... But that was our only choice. I carried Naminé to the door. But in front of the steps, two more suction sounds and black portals appeared. “Not again! Now who?” Out stepped two men, and a boy... I.. recognized them... Red spiky hair, long blue hair... Aks... Asp... Aps..? I couldn’t remember. The man with blue hair ran forward to hug me. Put his arms around me. I pushed him away, brought out my scythe. Naminé was pulled back by Har... the girl. “Gildas... don’t you recognize me?” The man cried. Tears came to his eyes. “I knew this’d happen.... I knew it, as soon as the door began to close...” He was crazy. The man with red hair stepped forward. “Don’t worry, Zex, I’ll jog his memory for ya.” The blue-haired man looked scared, and turned away. He walked into the far corner and I could hear him sobbing.
“Gildas, you really don’t remember? Hey, I know... What’s our boss’s name? Wait, no. Wrong kid. Erm.... What’s the name of that little monkey boy who follows us around? You know, right there!” The man was insane. And he was advancing. Slowly, but surely. I slashed my scythe. A deep gash ran up his left leg. “Ouch! Gildas, what are you doing?” He grabbed his leg. I didn’t want to hurt him, but he stood in my way. I had to continue. “Wait, Gildas!” The girl cried. “Hold out your scythe.” I did as I was told, keeping my eyes on the red-haired man. “Poison!” She cried. Suddenly, my scythe’s blade turned Forest green. It dripped some green liquid... weird. I turned to the man. “Gildas, don’t do this!” I slashed his arm. Blood mingled with... that stuff. The man screamed in agony. “Stop!” He cried. The blue haired man was now crying louder, so was the boy. I slashed again. Cut to his chest. Scream. He fell to the floor. Twitched. Twitched. Twitched.
No movement. No sound. Crying. Breathing. Dripping. Crying. Footsteps. Anger. Rage. “How could you, Gildas!? How could you do that!?” I turned on the blue-haired man. “You’re next.” He looked down, sobbing. “I’m sorry... You leave me no choice!” He pulled a book out of his robe. No title. Blank pages. Threw it at me. Blackness. Emptiness. My very life force... draining... fusing... turning to... ink? Deep purple... Fading... Black...
I couldn’t do anything but watch as the swirling black winds swallowed him up. Once the book was safely closed, I focused on the man with blue hair. He looked as wrecked as I felt. I opened my mouth to speak, but I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know how to console somebody I didn’t remember. And I couldn’t remember what was making me feel so bad…that boy who got pulled into the book…who was he again? “I…I’m sorry. I had to do it…I…I…” The man with blue hair was talking to me, in between helpless sobs and fierce shakes of his head. “Who…who are you? And who was that boy? Who was he to me?” The blue haired man hung his head. “So you forgot, too, then…”
“Look,” the blue haired man explained, “My name is Zexion. That guy, in the book, he was your best mate Gildas. You’ve known him for a really long time. And we’re just inside Castle Oblivion. That girl in your arms, she’s Naminé, she took apart your memories and didn’t quite get round to putting them back together. The dead one over there, he’s Axel, an old friend of mine.” I nodded carefully. I had to trust him; I had no other choice. We opened the doors slowly, having to push the door strongly to open it even a little.
We walked a little way down the road, this Zexion person and I, in uncomfortable silence. Then I was surprised to see two people running towards us. I turned to Zexion questioningly. “That’s L, your white mage best friend who you need to ask to help Namine. The other is Riku, the guy you’re in love with.” “Oh…thanks,” I muttered quietly, because the two people were now within earshot of us. “Riku,” I said as warmly as I could. “L.” They smiled at me, and Riku moved to give me a hug. “Ah!” I stopped him, using Namine as an excuse. “L, I need your help. Please, can you try and help Namine?” I asked quickly, to cover the awkward moment between me and Riku.
L examined Namine, who was still lying almost lifelessly in my arms. “I can,” he said quietly, “but not just yet, I’m exhausted after running here to find you.” I almost questioned it, but managed to bite my tongue. “I’ll have to wait until tonight…” Those words filled me with dread. How was I supposed to keep up this charade until nightfall? Riku took Namine from me gently, and kissed me on the cheek quickly. I smiled awkwardly, and Zexion nodded discreetly. “Where’s Sora? And where’s Axel?” asked Riku. Zexion’s smile froze. “Axel’s…dead. And Sora refused to leave the body.” He said it quickly, as though it would make it easier. Riku started asking questions, but Zexion walked off and we followed.
Our group kept walking along the deserted road for a while. Eventually we came to an empty field, and as it was starting to get dark, we decided to make camp there. There was an upturned log that we sat on, and we laid Namine on a blanket I had in my bag. Not that she really needed it; she was still hovering slightly, though less then before. “I fear that if we leave it too long, she will touch the ground and the effect will be permanent.” I was shocked. “No!” I hadn’t meant to shout that loudly; the stunned looks I got were completely deserved – but this girl was the only way to get my memory back. “I will try to heal her now. But the good effect might not be as strong as it should be, for I haven’t really rested enough.” I nodded, and walked off to let him get on with it.
“Hey.” Zexion had come after me, and was standing behind me. I turned to face him. “I need your help…to bring Gildas back.” I was silent. What was there to say? “I need you to help me with Gildas’s old memories. I know his most recent, but I need the oldest ones, too. We’ll need to speak to Namine to find out exactly how much she erased, but I have to be the one to write them in – for my sake.” I nodded. If I kept this up, I might lose my voice soon…That would be bad! “I…miss him too. So, you know, you aren’t…alone…in feeling…feeling…this. I don’t know why I miss him, but…I know that I miss him…so much.” It was painful to say those things, but I had to admit it to myself. Zexion gave me a warm hug, and I could feel his tears soaking into my shoulder. “Thank you. I miss him. I miss him so much.”
“Haru! She’s awake!” I heard Riku’s joyful shout, and broke out of Zexion’s hug. As I scurried over to investigate, I gave Zexion a quick smile. As I got over to the log, I saw that Namine was indeed awake, and looked more than a little sad. “Namine…” It slipped out, but nobody took any notice. Nobody except Namine, that is. She looked over at the sound of my voice, and her eyes widened when she saw me. “Let’s go for a walk, Haru.” It was Riku. I panicked; I wanted Namine to put my memories back together – now! She smiled sadly at me, knowing what I was thinking. “I’ll do it as quickly as I can, while you’re walking,” she whispered in my ear as Riku dragged me away.
Riku and I wandered over to the other side of the field, our fingers knotted together. At the other side, we couldn’t see L and Namine or Zexion, and we lay on the grass to watch the stars twinkle. We lay there in a happy silence for a while, and then he leaned over to kiss me. It was magical. “Riku!” I cried – now I remembered! Riku looked confused. “Wh…What?” I shook my head. It didn’t matter; I didn’t need to go through explaining everything that happened inside the castle. I just embraced my memories again.
We stayed there for a long time, me and Riku, before we decided to go back. Zexion was scribbling in the book Gildas had been trapped in the book, and Namine was talking to L. When she saw we were back, she turned to me. “I’m sorry. I had to take your memories apart; those creeps in black coats made me. So then I was putting Gildas’s memories back together when Lexaeus showed up and…well, you know…So, while I was knocked out or whatever, you and he would have lost any memories that I had already put back together. So yeah…And Zexion showed me the book. No matter much how I want to sort out his memories, I can’t now. That has to be Zexion’s job.” I nodded, and smiled warmly. Riku looked as though he was a daze. He opened his mouth to ask a question, but I cut him off. “I’ll answer all your questions, I promise, but after we bring Gildas back.”
Zexion had filled most of the blank pages in, already, but he needed my help for the rest of them. He, Namine and I sat together, and Namine told me which memories she had unchained. Then, I explained them in depth to Zexion, who wrote them into his book. It was morning before we finished. “As I dot this last full stop, he should come back. Are you ready?” Zexion asked. I nodded, but couldn’t bring myself to speak. He took a deep breath, and filled in the final full stop. Then, we all seemed to stop breathing, anxious…Would it work?
Flash. Deep Purple. Dots. Words. Spaces. Flash. Light. Blue. Blonde. White. Flash. Fire. Trees. Logs. FLASH!
I gasped. Breathed. Drank in the air, as if I’d forgotten how to breathe. Arms grabbed at me. Clutched me. Held me tight. As I gazed at the blonde girl before me, her eyes brimming with tears, the shock of life was brought back in full force. Haru. Haru! I knew her name! I’d remembered it! I remembered her... and Zexion! Oh how I’d... not missed him... the memories flooding back from within the Castle... Xaldin, Lexaeus, Larxene, Naminé... Axel...
I’d killed Axel. I felt so... so low... so ashamed of myself... Haru let go of me, understanding... No, feeling the pain I felt. Zexion came over, a book entitled “Gildas” in his hands. My book. He walked over. Bent down to hug me... and I slapped him. There was enough pain and emptiness in that slap to make him hate me forever... but he looked upset, more than angry. “I... I’m sorry Gildas. I shouldn’t have, I know, and it’s my fault that you’re so angry, and I’ll never do it again... but I filled in your missing pages, and... I love you...” He turned his head, tried to hide the tears. But I saw in his eyes, just a passing glance that he truly meant every word he had said. I stood up straight and caressed his cheek (the one I didn’t slap), and pulled him into a deep, meaningful hug. L, Haru, Naminé (And Sha’dak, who had been so quiet the long time I’d known him) all turned away, giving us our private moments. As he pulled out of the hug, I kissed him gently. Nothing needed to be said.
Sora came running out from the Castle. His memories were seemingly intact (but with him, nothing was ever certain). He rushed straight over to me and had to be restrained as he tried to kick me, hit me, hurt me any way he could. “I lost him once, and now, thanks to you I lose him again!” He cried. “He was the only guy to ever be this nice to me! He was... he was like a brother to me!” I walked forward, opened my mouth to say I was sorry, when he punched me squarely in the jaw. No teeth went flying, no blood gushed from an open wound, but the strength and force behind that punch sent me reeling.
I fell to the floor. Hit my head on a nearby stone. The pain, now dripping from my forehead in small, red clusters was nothing compared to the pain I felt deep inside of me. I’d killed Axel. I took my scythe and I’d... Axel, he... And not only that. Axel was dead. I’d disappointed Zexion, I’d turned on him. I’d forgotten Haru. Even if consciousness wasn’t slowly slipping away from me, I couldn’t talk of the pain I felt. In fact, as I realised not too long after waking up... I could never talk again.
“Gildas!” I ran over to him. He wasn’t bleeding seriously, but I was still worried. I looked over at Sora, who was wearing his usual goofy grin. And that’s when I began to feel it. I could feel it building up inside of me. “Riku! It’s…happening again. I don’t know what…what to do…I can’t stop it…Help me! Please…help me, I can’t…can’t control it!” Riku strode over and took my hand, squeezing it tightly. “It’s okay, Haru. I’m here, everything’s alright. Look at me, look at me! Everything is okay, it’s alright, calm down.” Slowly, I felt it recede, until I was back to normal.
I rubbed my head. “I…have a headache. I’m going to go to sleep for a while…Just keep him away from me.” I jerked my head at Sora, unable to say his name, and walked away. I wrapped myself in the blanket tightly, trying to cut myself off from the world. I couldn’t sleep though; the pain in my head was too bad, and besides, I couldn’t stop thinking about Gildas. I wanted to be with him until I new he was okay, but I just couldn’t be near Sora…I couldn’t sleep now. It was impossible.
I heard footsteps echoing towards me, and peeked out. When I saw the black boots, I sat up and mumbled, “Hey, Zexion.” He sat on the floor and sighed. “I thought you were supposed to be asleep.” “…Yeah. I couldn’t sleep. I have a headache, and besides…” He nodded, and swept his long, blue fringe out of his face. “I know, right? It’s like, we just got him back, and now...he’s gone again. He hasn’t woken up yet, but there isn’t anything wrong, either. L healed his wounds.” I nodded. “But there’s something I need to tell you…” Zexion continued. I didn’t say anything; just waited for him to finish his sentence. “It’s about Gildas. He…I mean…I know…He can’t…I…We…You…He won’t…” He swallowed. “I’m just worried about him.” He got up and walked off. As I watched his black heels disappear, and then whispered, “Me too…”
“Haru!” My name being called shook me out of my thoughts. “Haru, come here! He’s waking up!” I pulled myself out of the blanket and sprinted over, wrapping Gildas in a warm hug. I didn’t ever want to let him go, in case something separated us yet again. But I think I was hurting him, so I let go, and he gasped mockingly. Then it was Zexion’s turn to throw himself at Gildas. “You’re okay…He’s okay…” I wasn’t sure who I was talking to, but Riku nodded and smiled, slipping his hand into mine.
“So how are you feeling Gildas?” I asked, once Zexion had eventually let go of him. He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again quickly, and shrugged, making a so-so gesture with his hand. “Do you remember everything now?” He nodded. “Say something, Gildas!” He just looked at me. “Say something!” I urged. “Say something, say something, say something!” I grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him until I was dragged off of him by Riku. Zexion bent down to whisper to Gildas. I was still being restrained by Riku, and kicked out blindly. “Why won’t you say anything, damn it?!”
Haru had asked me if I was okay. My mouth opened. Struggling, I managed to let a small breath out of my mouth before I closed it. I couldn’t talk. Something was wrong. Did I remember everything? Yes. Of course Haru, I remember. It’s okay Haru, I’ll never hurt you again. Don’t worry, Haru. I’m here for you Haru. I want to talk to you Haru. My voice is gone, Haru. I’m sorry, Haru. I’m... sorry, Haru...
She had to be dragged away by Riku, I was freaking her out. Zexion bent down slightly, kissed my cheek. “I know, love. And that’s why I was sorry. The words of the book are your memories.” He opened the book, and showed me page 95, “Zexion”. I began to blush, but Zexion ignored it. “The words are your memories... but you know what the ink is? Your voice. The words are carved into the pages, but the ink will fade in time. This book must be kept safe, or you’ll lose your memories again. When the ink fades, you’ll regain your voice. As you talk more, more ink will fade. Soon, it will just look like an empty book with your name on it. If anyone writes in it, nothing will happen. But if someone tears out a page...”
I began to understand. The book had to be kept safe, with me, at all costs. “You know...” Zexion started, “When I was re-writing your memories, I had to read the pages. And... I read some things.” I blushed. Could he have read Page 99, “Zexion’s Underwear”, Or even page 54, “Drunken Night of 2007”? I began to get rather worried. “Don’t worry” he said, and messed up my hair, “I won’t tell anyone what was in paragraph 4, Page 99.” My face went beet-red, and I quickly stole the book and scanned the page. I gazed at him, horrified. Not even I knew that I had that side to me.
I clutched the book to my chest. Everyone had fallen asleep, barring a distraught Haru, me and Zexy. I lay my head on his chest, and he stroked my hair, as we gazed up at the early morning sky. The sun had just begun to rise, and I was so happy, just lying with him. I sat up, as did he. I looked sadly down at the book, bit my lip (Which always brought a sly smile to Zexion’s face) and looked back at him. I stared, drowning in his deep blue eyes... And then remembered what I was going to do. I kissed him on the cheek, pulled back, and held out the book. No. I pulled it back quickly, and grabbed a pen out of my pocket-pouch. On the inside front cover page I wrote:
“Dearest Zexion. My love for you is boundless, and my admiration absolute. You own my heart... now you may own my most treasured memories. Love always, Gildas x”
I then gave the book back. Puzzled, he took it, and read what I had wrote. A hand flew to his heart. Tears sprung to his eyes. He closed the book, placed it in a fold of his cloak. Hugged me. Tight. All his compassion burst from him like an explosion of love, and I could feel just how much he loved me... and just how much I loved him in return. As the morning sun illuminated our makeshift camp, things were looking up in my life... and I could think of no group of people I’d rather share it with.
