It's... Still Hard to Wrap My Mind Around.

Gypsy came home yesterday.

The urn... is a beautiful solid oak box with her photo in it on the front just above her name and the engraving. The photo was something that I picked out for it. It's one of her as a puppy, literally taken the week that we brought her home.

During the days after her death, while we waited to get back her remains, I was slowly beginning to heal a little more. With the company of my friends, and their support, I started to feel a little better.

Eventually, it became easier for me to speak of Gypsy in the present sense... as though she were still with us physically.

Heh,... there's even a running joke between me and Kim that Gypsy must still dive bomb her cat Strawberry straight from heaven. After all, that was Gypsy's favorite thing to do on Kim's ranch whenever we would go there on the weekends.

In short,... I was getting better.

But,... it's strange.

When I saw her urn, after placing her onto her specially cleared spot,... the sight of it kind of stunned me a little. I think it was because of what it was.

This was her...

This polished little box with her photo on it... This was her.

The sight of it, finally there in front of me,... is what really made the reality hit home. She's really gone. This... REALLY happened.

I cried.

In both sadness, and a little happiness,... I cried.

Sadness because it does still hurt to acknowledge the reality, but happiness because... she's finally back home.

It's gonna be hard to wrap my mind around though. The very concept that the creature I used to love and hug is now within this little urn,... this little box,... is still pretty hard to believe.

She brought color into our lives when we met her, then left it grey when God took her.

My Heart Is Gone Because It Left With An Angel...

She brought color into our lives when we met her, then left it grey when God took her...

This... is the engraving that will go onto the urn along with her name...

Gypsy, my very first dog, passed away the afternoon of March 3, 2010. She was 10 years old, was gonna be 11 in November. I got her when I was 11 years old, picked her out myself, and loved her more than anyone. She was my best friend, companion, and the greatest Christmas gift I've ever gotten.

I got her the afternoon of December 20, 1999, five days until Christmas Day. Originally, I went in thinking that I was going to pick myself out a male, full bred. About a half hour later, I came out with a female boxer/golden retriever mix that cost about twenty-five dollars. After knowing her and having her in my life, I would have gladly paid millions for her...

Originally, we were only going in to look. We didn't plan on officially getting one until the 23rd. However, when I held her, I wanted her right then and there. Another reason why we got her so quickly was because there was a little boy there about my age that also wanted her. For some reason, I couldn't let that happen.

For ten years, she brought joy into my life. I only wish we could have had a few more trips around the sun together...

We basically grew into our adult years together. I helped her grow into the best dog that we have ever known. She helped me grow into a better person than I think I would have been without her. She taught me compassion at a young age and how to love with all my heart.

She was lively, spunky, odd, and had more personality than that of any human being that I've ever met. I never would have thought that a tumor would be the thing to take her from me... It spread so fast, leaving us struggling to catch our breaths...

Most people would probably describe the feeling of a broken heart as a tight and constricting sensation in your chest.

For me,... there's a huge cold spot in my heart. It literally makes me shiver...

We tried so hard to save her, even took her to another clinic when ours gave up on her. In the end,... there was nothing we could do as it spread to her lungs...

We had to let her go... and make the pain stop.

I held her head in my hands as they gave her the injection.

As she fell into an eternal sleep, the colors of the room began to bleed away into the tears in my eyes...

I remember whispering to my father later, who was crying along side me... Dad,... it's gonna be a cold Spring...

"Gypsy, I love you and miss you so much. I know you're someplace beautiful now and without pain... I hope you know how much it hurts now, how empty it feels, without you here. I hope you know that we tried... I also hope that you'll be waiting for us when it comes time to join up with you. Then, we can finally go home together..."

"I love you..."