The Life and Crimes of I

Name: Kimberly
Nicknames: Kimi, Kimi-chan, Kim, KitKat, Kitten-chan, The dumbest smart person in the world (courtesy of my friends and family), Crazy/Psycho/Insane, Genius, la-fee-de-morte(deviantArt), Katana Black(FanFiction.net), Katana Black (FictionPress.com), Katsody (GaiaOnline), Katsody (TinierMe)
Residence: East Coast, USA
Interests: Reading, writing, music, gaming, manga, learning. I'm a writer, a musician, a gamer, and a scientist. If Barnes and Noble, Game Stop, a biological research lab, and a ramen shop all decided to collaborate on a single store, I would live there for the rest of my natural life and be in pure bliss.

Favorites:
Genre(s) of Music: Classical, neo-classical, rock, reggaeton
Song(s): Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children, One-Winged Angel, Vanessa-Mae, Bach Street Prelude
Artist(s): Bond, Clint Mansell, The Used, Ludwig van Beethoven, John Williams, Black Violin, Muse, t.A.T.u., Killswitch Engage, 30 Second to Mars, Vanessa-Mae, Utada Hikaru, Emilie Autumn, 3OH!3, BoA, Dir en Grey, Tokio Hotel, Paul Oakenfold
Game(s): Kingdom Hearts, Soul Calibur, Mortal Kombat, The World Ends With You
Gaming Platform: Xbox 360, PS2
Character(s): Train Heartnet (Black Cat), Ludwig Kakumei (Ludwig Kakumei), L and Light (DeathNote), Axel and Riku (Kingdom Hearts), Kakashi-sensei (Naruto), Curious George, Sho Minamimoto (TWEWY)
Book: Crime and Punishment, Fyodor Dostoevsky
Manga(s): Black Cat, DeathNote, Rurouni Kenshin, Buso Renkin, Ludwig Kakumei, Kuroshitsuji, Axis Powers Hetalia, and Deadman's Wonderland
Color(s): Black, red, pink
Food(s): BBQ chicken, ramen
Dessert(s): rum raisin ice cream, chocolate pocky
Fruit: watermelon
Animal: felines

Tools of the Trade: Mental instability and something to write with. A good soundtrack doesn't hurt, either.
Favorite Quote: "When I play with my cat, who knows whether she is not amusing herself with me more than I with her." --Michel de Montaigne

Welcome to my world! Please buckle up and keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times. Don't worry about emergency exits; there are none. If you wish to exit before the ride is over, you do so at your own risk. If you sustain any form of brain damage, IQ reduction, and/or psychological disorder from any of these rides, I will not be held liable. Have a nice day and enjoy your trip!

Created By Rexikat Rhapsody

Michel de Montaigne...

...got it right: "Death, they say, acquits us of all obligations."

Seriously, if anyone knows any clean, painless methods of suicide, feel free to make a suggestion. Out of all the times I've contemplated it, I think I'm finally there. Honestly, it seems like people would be so much better off without me. If I'm really that much of a burden, if making all of those sacrifices bothers you so much, if I didn't turn out the way you planned, if everything I do is disrespectful, everything I say is wrong, and nothing I do is good enough, then maybe you'd be better off if I wasn't here. I'm sorry if what I'm expecting of you is too much, but I never asked for you to go above and beyond anything. We could be living on the streets, and I wouldn't care, as long as you told me you loved me every day. If you really think that having a good education made me this way, then maybe you should listen to me more closely, and you'd see that's absolutely ludicrous. You say that I don't care about the sacrifices you made. If I didn't care, then I wouldn't have a 100 plus GPA in school, and I would be working to be the best at everything I do. I appreciate EVERYTHING you've done for me, and apparently the things I do to show it aren't good enough. Okay, so I almost never get the laundry done on time. Okay, so I don't drop everything I'm doing to fulfill your latest command. Okay, so I don't meet your expectations. I'M SORRY. Obviously we've been expecting too much from each other. But you need to acknowledge your shortcomings as well, and saying, 'I'm not perfect' doesn't count. You have a tendency to be hypocritical, saying that I'm disrespectful while you throw temper tantrums because I've done something wrong. You say I'm distant, when distance is the only way I can preserve my sanity. You say you have to run away sometimes to preserve your own sanity while telling me that my way of preserving mine is wrong. I can't run away like you can; I can't just jump in a car and drive. I have to maintain a certain degree of distance otherwise I'll be in the situation I am now: I care too much. And when you care too much, you get hurt. And I'm tired of being hurt. I have to maintain my distance from reality; it's for my own sake. And when you get to the bottom of it, we're human beings. Animals. Self-preservation is in our genes. And if that means suicide, then so be it. I'm not going to suffer needlessly if I'm causing so much trouble to others by doing so. And I hate to sound like a typical teenager, but I'm really at my rope's end here. I have no one to turn to, no one to talk to, because no one will listen and understand. Nothing except for the fake reality I've created in my head, and even that can only go so far. When you can't even talk to the person that you have the problem with, where do you go?

Despairingly yours,
Kimberly

End