AN: This is the first fanfic that I ever wrote. It is a three-shot of songfics about Matt and Mello. All the songs are by Something Corporate. Look them up.
Warnings and Disclaimers: Some blood, and Mello swears when he's upset. I don't own Death Note, the characters in this story or Something Corporate.
Summary: He left. He was found again. Now all he needs is forgiveness.
Part 1: Matt - Walking By
Your grand dad left home for the circus. He was young just like me,
with hope to explore. He married a girl in Virginia.
She could swing the trapeze, they could sleep on the floor.
Your mother was born in December, on the one sunny day that winter gave up.
With warm summer eyes,
That flickered like fireflies,
When she stared at the world.
“Mello…”
“Why, Mello.”
“WHY DID YOU DO THIS?!” I screamed and threw myself at the bed, pounding on the wall as the salty tears streamed down my face. I punched the wall, leaving a red imprint from the blood on my knuckles.
I brought my fist down on the glass of water on the bedside table. I felt the glass crack and break under my fist. Mello was gone. I slammed both my fists into the puddle of water mixed with shards of glass and blood. MY Mello was gone. Dark ruby red dripped from my hands, staining the sheets. Shards of glass protruded from the back of my hands. I continuously punched the wall until I cried out in frustration and collapsed onto my bed, exhausted.
“HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME?!” I sobbed and screamed into the pillow.
So why do you leave these stories unfinished,
My Cheshire cat doorstop with tears in your eyes?
Why do you look when you've already found it?
What did you find that could leave you walking by?
The next day I didn’t focus on my classes. I couldn’t bring myself to eat either. I’d spent the night crying out for Mello, wanting him to come back.
My eyes were sore and bloodshot and I felt weak all over.
I just wanted to forget, forget the pain he left me with for a while, but nothing could numb this feeling in my heart.
Every moment of the day I felt like I was breaking. I felt as if I died a little on the inside every time the empty seat next to me in the classroom, the hall, the cafeteria and the cold empty bed on the other side of the room; reminded me, reminded me of him.
She was raised in a New England village.
Then she moved to LA with her firefly stare,
And you loved sunset strip when it sparkled,
You grew up and you sparkled, but why don't you care?
I drifted like a ghost from class-to-class, having ceased to care, since he was gone.
Why had he abandoned me? Why couldn’t he have taken me with him? He knows he would be my death no matter what, and that I didn’t care if he was.
He left. No warning, no goodbye. Just one simple sentence, that broke me.
I’ve got to go.
-Mello
And why do you leave these stories unfinished?
My Cheshire cat doorstop with tears in your eyes,
And why do you look when you've already found me?
And what did you find that could leave you walking by?
Each night I crawled feebly into his bed, because it still smelled of him. That bittersweet scent of chocolate and just… Mello.
I was pathetic.
But didn’t he know I needed him?
Each night as I lay in his bed, buried my face into his pillow, and I breathed in his scent, I would think of him, and those piercing blue eyes, ruffled golden hair and the angry edge he always carried with him, that concealed the Mello inside. I remembered the good memories we had together, and sobs would rack my thin body violently as the tears escaped from under my eyelids, drenching the pillowcase in my sorrow. Those times were gone.
We had been best friends. He was everything. If Mello was gone, why should I give a damn about anything else?
And these nights I get high just from breathing.
When I lie here with you I'm sure that I'm real,
Like that firework over the freeway.
I could stay here all day, but that's not how you feel.
I’m going to find you, Mello.
Because I need you, and I hope you need me too. I hope leaving me was the hardest thing you ever had to do. I hope you cried when you thought about leaving me.
I might sound selfish, but don’t I have the right?
I know how much L meant to you, and how distraught you were that he was dead.
But didn’t I matter at all, in the end?
He was my all, my best friend, the only person who ever cared about me. Gone.
He ran away, just like all the other people in my life. I had been just a problem, a difficulty in everyone else’s life; and guess what; they all ran from their problems. But I thought it might have been different this time.
But he left me behind, knowing what it would do to me. I’ve never felt pain such as this ever before in my life. And that is something I know all too well.
You know how they call it “heartbreak”? Well, I never would have guessed, but that is exactly what it feels like. It felt like there were gears running my heart, and that soon those gears would stop turning and my heart would finally stop beating.
Because Mello had been the only thing it would beat for.
So why do you leave these questions unanswered?
The circus awaits and you're already gone.
My Cheshire cat doorstop with fear in your smile,
What makes it so easy for you to be walking by?
And what did I do that you can't seem to want me?
And why do we lie here and whisper goodbyes?
And where can I go that your pictures won't haunt me?
And what makes it so easy for you to be walking by?
And what did I do that you can't seem to want me?
And why do we lie here and whisper goodbyes?
And where can I go that your pictures won't haunt me?
What makes it so easy for you to be walking by?
Walking by,
Walking by.
~
Song: Walking By – Something Corporate
