Ok, so it's been a while since I've posted anything, and I know you're probably tired of me gushing about these guys that end up not even really giving me a chance; but someone very special and close to me has recently come back into my life and I want to get all of these thoughts that have been whirling around in my head the last few months out so that they aren't cooped up anymore.
Yes, it is a guy. And yes I do have feelings for him. I have for a very long time in fact. I've actually known this guy since I was about 10 years old, so he's watched me grow up and change and become the person I am today. If you've read my story in my in between world, he's actually the person that the Character Tyler is based off of. Yes he does live in Florida.
His name is Talon (cool but unusual name i know, i asked him if that was really his real name when we first met and it was :)), and he is, like in my story, a little bit older than me. so for the longest time I considered him my older brother. He had a nack for disappearing and reappearing over time through out the entire time that I've known him. The amount of time he's gone varies. Well about 2 years ago, just after he came back from one of his little disappearing acts, we began talking again. The more and more we started talking, the more my feelings began to grow for him. It had been so long since I had heard from him that I remembered him, I knew some things about him but didn't have all the details clear in my head anymore. It took a bit but i started to realize it myself that I was actually falling for the guy. And the first time I finally got his number and got him to call me, that's when it was clear to me that this guy was so much more to me than an adopted brother. I confessed to him after a while that i really really liked him, and his answer wasn't what i wanted to hear but it wasn't crushing either. He simply said he really cared for me too, but he couldn't think of me as anything more than a little sister at the moment.
Months passed and eventually i captured him and we were.... an item i suppose you could say :P and as time passed even more, you guys are gunna wana smack me for this, he asked me to marry him and i said yes.
He started to act a little weird a few months after that and i couldn't figure out what was going on except for the fact that his father was working him into the ground and fighting with him a lot. A few days after Christmas his phone was shut off so I couldn't really talk to him. He msged me through yahoo and told me, and the last thing he said to me was that he wasn't feeling well and that he was going to go lay down. that was the last thing I heard from him for about 9 months. I didn't know what to think. Was he just tired of me? did he find someone closer and better? Could he be DEAD? so many things went through my head. about 6 months after he vanished (just before my birthday)I decided I was going to get over him. or try to atleast. Thus all the guys that you heard me gushing about that I liked a lot. I suppose I was just rushing into things or something, but the whole thing with Joey was real, I was really starting to fall for him.
Talon finally came back around september, but I didn't really talking to him. It was just a hi here and there. I didn't want to fall for him again and I was still majorly hurting every time i would talk to him. But eventually I gave in and had a huge long conversation with him and found out what had happened. and tried to understand why he hadn't or as he put it couldn't contact me.
So long story short (I know this is already long, sorry bout that) After that night we were pretty much back together and he swore he would never disappear on me again. Since then he knows I'm still very afraid of that happening and he makes sure that whenever that thought crosses my mind to tell me he will be there in the morning or that he's not going to disappear again. He's even told me a few days ago that he's so afraid that one day he is going to wake up and I'll be gone. I didn't know what to say to that.
Every time we have been together its just kind of happening without either of us making it verbally known. It's like a silent agreement I suppose. No, we are not engaged this time. But We are having plans in june (just after my 18th birthday) for him to either come and live with me, or he is going to bring me there to live with him. It all depends on his mother's health.

If you want to comment on this whole thing, please don't be too mean, but it'd be cool to get opinions on this though. I'm his as long as he wants me, but I want to know what some others think and what they would do in this kind of situation.