The bright light shocked me as my eyes opened, closing again quickly as the light pierced my vision. I covered my eyes with my hand as I sat up, glad the pain had receded. I noticed that Charlotte had left the room, and I decided to risk getting up. I pushed myself out of bed and stood up unsteadily, my legs shaking slightly. My head span and I sat back down, I wasn’t ready. Just then, Rin burst in through and already-open door, “Oh thank god you’re awake! It’s Charlotte, she’s in trouble!” I jumped up, instantly regretting it as I fell straight to the floor, Rin rushing over to lend me a hand. “No!” I shot my hand up. “I don’t need anyone’s help.” Rin looked at me cautiously, “Just go already! You help Charlotte. I’ll come along when I’m… able to.” Rin shook his head. “JUST GO!” I shouted, relieving a small amount of tension, “I will NOT accept your help anymore, Rin!” He stepped backwards, a reflex reaction, his face immediately steeped in sadness. Without a word, he turned from the room and I could have sworn I heard quiet sobs as Rikku began to ask what had happened. I struggled to push myself from the floor, grabbing my wardrobe to steady myself and lean upon.
I opened the wardrobe door and pulled out whichever clothes I first saw (a red shirt with black skinny jeans), and pulled them on quickly. Though I felt no energy emotionally, everything I did seemed to be quick and precise, as if the sleep had physically energized me. Regretting my choice of jeans, I hobbled over to the doorway, opening it enough to walk through and immediately receiving a hard slap from Rikku that knocked me to the floor. “How dare you!” I heard Brother grunting as he held her back. “How could you do that to him!” I glared up at Rikku. “Don’t you dare! Don’t you DARE shout at me! I don’t need the attitude of some blonde, Americanized freak, okay? I’ve got enough problems of my own without yours and god knows who else’s, so just back off and leave me alone!”
Rikku stormed off, Brother following her, pleading with her to calm down. Rin stood by the door, rubbing his arm lightly, a tear dripping from his cheek to the carpeted floor. I pushed myself up and pushed past him, purposely hitting his shoulder as I did so. I smiled inwardly. At least this made me feel normal again.
I was suddenly aware of a pair of warm, strong hands running over my ribs and the small but defined bump that was my stomach. “Jasper!” I gasped, sitting up. That was a mistake; small black dots burst into my vision and the same gentle hands guided me back until I was lying down again. “You’re okay, you’ve been out for a few hours, but everything’s alright now.” The sound of Jasper’s soothing voice calmed me a little, but I couldn’t relax until I was sure that my baby was okay. “What happened…to the baby?” My voice was so quiet that I wasn’t sure that he would hear, but he answered me. “They’re fine. It wasn’t actually the pregnancy that caused the problem; it was your condition. But I did check the foetus anyway, just in case, and it’s fine.” Relief flooded me and I released a stream of confused thanks.
Breathing deeply, I sat up again and opened my eyes. I was surprised to find myself stretched out over the sofa in the flat. “You…didn’t take me to the hospital?” I was confused; surely that would have been his first instinct. Jasper looked a little discomfited as he replied, “No…I wanted to, but I remembered how you reacted last time, and I figured…it wouldn’t be so positive.” I nodded. “You thought right,” I said, with a weak smile. My eyes travelled around aimlessly; they noted the plaster on my right hand before anything else. “I had to inject you with some fluids; you were seriously dehydrated and you hadn’t eaten enough recently. That was for the baby’s sake.” I felt guilty, but when I noticed Steven hovering nearby that was pushed to the back of my mind.
I got steadily up from the sofa and walked over to him, Jasper always standing at my shoulder protectively. “Steven, I am so sorry, I honestly wasn’t going to tell you, you had so much other, more important stuff going on and I didn’t want to worry you, but then you asked and I was hating keeping a secret from you and I didn’t want to lie to you and I am just so sorry!” I garbled hurriedly, wanting to get the words out. “I’m sorry,” I repeated, in a whisper. He nodded, swallowed, and crossed his arms. “Yeah…” I suddenly realised my arms were crossed defensively over my stomach, but didn’t unknot them. It gave me a strange sense of…comfort. “I…I know that you can’t…like the idea…of a baby, but…well, I hope that…you can accept it, at least…Because…well, you’re my brother…and you mean so much to me, and I…I need your support. I love you, Steven…please, please don’t hate me…I really am…sorry,” I breathed.
I turned away, walking slowly back to my room, without talking. A baby… I didn’t… this… I sighed. Not that long ago, a close friend of mine… I’d had a crush on him for a while, and as his fifteenth birthday present… his boyfriend gave him an engagement ring. And he accepted. My stomach turned over and I couldn’t talk to him for weeks, in fact by the time I could he was already distraught from the break-up I was expecting. There was no-one to break up with anymore, but my stomach still turned. This was not right, not normal, and… Though I’d accept it, I was not in the mood at the moment.
Re-entering my room, I closed the door and went over several song lyrics in my head… trying to calm myself down but failing. “I’ll still say that you shine brighter than anyone…” I shook my head. Love. I needed to get out of that. I always did say I was… in love with Julian, and I could now see that I was right. Think darker… “I hear them getting closer, the Howls are sending chills down my spine…” Much better. I stood, bent over, my arms on the windowsill holding up my head as I stared blankly out into the light of the city. I felt a slight rumbling in my stomach but ignored it, I enjoyed being skinny, even if I could do with putting on a few stone. The darkness in my mind stoked once more, I lay back on my bed and gazed blankly at the ceiling, the pain of hours before having finally dissipated.
I tapped out the tune in the air with my feet, my eyes closing and my arms leant behind my head in a relaxed position. Music had become such a huge part of my life since the… emptiness began. I had no idea when it would end… but I knew that I’d need to just keep enjoying the music. As long as I could, I could remain… sane. I just had to work through it, no matter how harsh or unforgiving I seemed to have become. I was selfish, but that’s life: a dog eat dog world. And I was not going to fall.
I watched Steven trail away blankly before turning to Jasper, who wore a look of concern. Wordlessly, I shook my head, and when he opened his mouth to say something, I shrugged. “It’s hard, isn’t it?” he whispered, placing his hands on my shoulders gently. I looked up at him, unable to voice just how difficult I expected this to be. He rested his head on mine softly, pulling me into a proper hug. “You know, I will always be there – for you and for your baby. I’ll do as little or as much as you want me to. I’ll be a godfather, uncle, anything.” I swallowed. “Would you be a father?” Jasper hesitated for a moment before replying. “If that’s what you want,” he whispered.
Jasper eventually released me, staring at me as though I was about to contract some deadly disease. “Who hurt you?” he asked, stroking my bruised cheek. I shook my head, unable to speak. “Steven will come around. I know he will; it was a big shock to his system,” he insisted. I sighed and threw myself onto the sofa dejectedly. “I wouldn’t be so sure. He can be pretty stubborn sometimes…we share that trait.” Jasper chuckled quietly and joined me. “And…as long as I’m doubting my ability to mother a child…he will be, too…” He shook his head, “You have no reason to doubt that,” he insisted, “You’ll be wonderful.” I shrugged dubiously. He was definitely wrong.
A few minutes after I began relaxing, we received a phone call. I heard Brother pick up the phone, the others obviously too busy to do so. Brother then entered the room with a scrap of paper. “Franklin wants you and Charlotte to be somewhere… he gave me the address but wouldn’t tell me why.” I nodded and took the paper from him, noticing the address and frowning. This was our old house, before Charlotte and I left. As Brother walked back to the living room, I followed him, noticing how close Jasper and Charlotte seemed. Charlotte looked at me oddly, focusing her gaze on the paper. Brother obviously hadn’t told her yet. “Come on.” I said, flashing the paper before her eyes, “We have somewhere to be.”
Charlotte, Jasper and I left and took the elevator to the foyer. Leaving the building, we caught our old Aston and headed in the direction of our old house. For the first time in a while we put our seatbelts on, Charlotte especially due to her child. Jasper seemed very protective as we exited the car and greeted Franklin at our old doorstep. “Ahh, Steven, Charlotte, glad you could come! Do come inside!” We entered and followed our father to the living room, where he sat beside our mother. They seemed to fit well together, unlike the pairing of her and our fake dad. Franklin clasped his hands together.
“You see, we have a sort of… business proposition for you. We know that you both were aggravated slightly when you heard your father had a part in the destruction of the Home of the Al Bhed… and we were wondering if you would like to help rebuild it. The project is starting very soon, in the next month, and the construction will be done over the Al Bhed sector of town. We will be literally building one large fortress over the entire sector, and we were wondering if you could help with decoration choices or any expertise you may have to offer. So… are you interested?”
I smiled. It sounded perfect. “W-would we be able to live there afterwards?” I asked nervously. Franklin – Dad – nodded pleasantly, and my grin grew. I could have a new home, a new family – somewhere to bring up my baby. I looked over at Steven anxiously, waiting on his response. His face was deliberately smooth. “Steven?” our mum prompted. He looked from Franklin – Dad – to Mum, to me, back to our dad. And then, very slowly, he nodded. I laughed delightedly, flinging my arms around Jasper’s neck and then Steven’s. Then I realised…I dropped my arms and stepped back. “Sorry…you didn’t…sorry.” Steven shrugged, a half-smile forming.
“I really am sorry, you know…I mean, I didn’t plan for this, but now…well…I think…there’s no way I could give it up…It’s a piece of him. Well, it’s a piece of me, too, now…I don’t know how to explain it…but I am sorry…I hope you can, at least, accept it…but I think…you’d make a really good uncle…if…you wanted to, I mean…” I winced at the gasps that came from my parents – I had totally forgotten they were there. But I decided to deal with that later; I wanted Steven’s reaction first.
I didn’t move a muscle. I purposely remained as blank as possible. After a few seconds, I lay back in my chair. “Uncle?” I stretched out my limbs, twisting my head, “Uncle Stevie…” Charlotte bit her lip and Mum made to interrupt but Franklin held her back. “Sounds good.” Charlotte positively squealed with excitement and a large grin spread across Jasper’s features. Franklin spoke before Mum could, “So you’re pregnant, Charlotte? I’m sure you’ll be a fantastic mother.” Charlotte blushed ever-so-slightly and nodded. “Thanks…Dad."
