Little Christmas Of Horrors

After her encounter with her alien Uncle Roulette, Jess goes back to her own world where her house is on a hill. A giant white mansion with the sign t read WONDERLAND ESTATE was the purple head's home. She sleepily went inside, changed her clothes and went to her indoor green house to sleep. The Un-Birthday Party Green House had many exotic plants and nice butterflies around. Jess walked passed a black female gardener who blushes at the sight of Jess.

"Hello Mr. Jesse. How was your Thanksgiving break?" The gardener asked, using Jess's drag king name.

"Fine..." Jess muttered and put on her pajamas, "Tella, how is the new plant coming along?" Tella the gardener was an African American girl who loved plants and flowers. She used to live with her best friend Audrey from Skid Row. Growing up to be a professional gardener, she falls in love with Jess, thinking of her as a boy, and Jess hires her to be her gardener of the plants in the estate.

"Well, while you were gone, I named it after my best friend!" Tella said happily and got out a very small, wilted Venus fly trap. "Audrey II" was labeled on the pot. She put it on the windowsill, said goodnight to Jess, and left. Jess looked at the plant and raised her eyebrow.

"Why don't you grow, little plant?" Jess asked, "We gave you everything a plant needs... What's the matter?" She was about to touch the plant when she accidentally touched a thorn of a rose instead. She drew out blood in pain. Suddenly, kissy noises were heard. It was the plant, opening its buds. Putting two and two together, Jess put her bleeding thumb in the bud. The bud drank the blood and was satisfied. The purple haired girl started to smile.

"Hope you liked it. Taro-kun loves my blood... I wished he would be here for the holidays, especially Christmas! I am 5 months pregnant now and I decided that on Christmas, it'll be the last time I perform on stage. I need to settle down and have responsibilities, Twoey." Jess stroked Twoey's leaves, "Well good night." Jess got a sleeping bag and sat down next to the plant, sleeping. As the moon started to glow, the plant started to grow a little taller.

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The next morning, Jess woke up bright and early. She discovered Audrey II being healthy and new. She picked the plant up and took it everywhere she went; in the shower, in the kitchen, the living room. Many times, fans come in tourist groups during the day to see Jess, mostly children. They were intrigued by the plant itself. Jess was playing the piano next to the plant when Tella came in. Jess stopped and smiled at Tella.

"Tella thank you for bringing Audrey 2 here. You are the best." She ran to hug the tall gardener, who was blushing madly.

"Ummm, um, um," Tella stuttered, "Deiara is here." A black haired girl with red eyes came inside. It was Deiara, who had changed her hair color from brown to black.

"Hi Jess..." She said.

"Hi Deiara. Check out this new plant Twoey!" Jess held up the plant. If you would look closely, the plant seemed to smile at Deiara. Deiara checked the plant cautiously if there was anything weird, then shook her head.

"Wow, nice plant. Anyway, I just wanted to visit you since I have nothing to do..." Jess had an idea.

"How about we three girls have a sleep-over at the Tea House Garden? :D" Jess asked. Everyone agreed except for Tella. She shook her head and went to the door.

"I have a date... with Hitachi-kun... He would get mad if I don't come..." Tella ran out of the house.

"... like the d********** cares..." Deiara rolled her eyes. Hitachi was a girl-using, attention-getting boy who was annoying and mean. Tella calls him by his ninja name, Deiara calls him d********, and Jess simply calls him by his real name; Keith.

"Forget him. We're going to have fun, Dei." Jess said. Deiara noticed that her friend's fingers were in the bud of Audrey II, who had grown since the girls started talking.

"Jess, is that healthy for you or the plant?" She asked. Jess, feeling dizzy, shook her head.

"It's alright, honest." Jess had a weak smile. Near nightfall, Jess was thinking about everything that happened just now. Deiara went to get her things for the slumber party, then a group of executives came in to let Jess sign a contract that states that while she is pregnant, she can no longer perform outside, but she can still produce CDs. The men thought the plant around her was so unique, they added a $150,000 bonus. Jess sighed and went up to Audrey II, who was the size of the average deer. She patted the leaves up.

"Oh Twoey, things have been crazy the last few days, it's December already, but I owe this to you." She sighed again, "Once Taro comes here for Christmas, you can be his surprise Christmas present! Well, see ya old pal. I'll go change for the party." Jess was about to leave when the plant wilted again. She turned around and went to massage Twoey.

"Oh, boy. Here we go again." Jess worried, "Come on! I haven't got any blood left. I can't even feel my hand because of it!" She started shaking her motionless right hand to prove her point.

"Give me a few days to heal. We'll start again on the left hand and--"

"Feed... me..." A deep male voice wheezed out. The only people who were in the room was Jess and Audrey II. Jess looked at the plant in disbelief. Sure, she saw talking animals and rocks, but talking plants are a different story. Jess looked around, then finally spoke.

"Excuse me?" She asked. She saw the plant move its mouth slowly.

"Feed me." The plant said more clearly. Jess opened her eyes wide and her mouth dropped open.

"Twoey, you talked!" She exclaimed, "You opened your trap and you said--" The plant got up and yelled in a demanding tone.

"Feed me, Jessica! Feed me now!" It reminded Jess of a kid whining for everything he wanted. Nonetheless, she loved Twoey like a pet or something. She had to tell the truth.

"I can't!" She said.

"I'm starving!" Audrey II protested. This was getting weirder for Jess each minute. If only Deiara was here to tell her what to do.

"Maybe I can squeeze a little more out of this one." Jess held up her left hand and put it inside the plant's mouth. The plant sucked all the blood up like it was a bottle of milk. Once there was no more blood left in the left arm, Jess took out her motionless arm away.

"More! More! More!" Twoey said, a sound assumed to be its stomach growling in response. Jess held her hands up in the air.

"There isn't any more!" She put down her hands, "What do you want me to do? Slit my wrists?"

"Yeah! XD" The plant opened its mouth happily as if trying to eat Jess's hands. Jess stared at the sharp teeth. She shook her head slowly as she went to the door, her back behind Audrey II.

"Oh, boy! Look, I've got an idea. I'll pick you up some nice chopped sirloin at the butcher shop." She said excitedly. The plant shook his head. It wanted more than just dead meat.

"Must be blood." It replied. Jess turned around slowly, she had a disgusted face on.

"Twoey, that's disgusting!"

"Must be fresh." The plant whispered in a wicked smirk. Jess closed her ears.

"I don't want to hear this!" The plant started to sing.

Feed me.

"Does it have to be human?" Jess asked.

Feed me!

"Does it have to be mine?!" Jess went near Audrey 2 in despair.

FEED ME!

"Where am I supposed to get it!?!" She can't wait for the suspense. The plant sung more, it was obviously a he.

Feed me, Jessy
Feed me all night long
That's right, girl
You can do it
Feed me, Jessy
Feed me all night long
'Cause if you feed me, Jessy
I can grow up big and strong

"You eat blood, Audrey ll. Let's face it. How am I supposed to keep feeding you? Kill people?" Jess exaggerated.

The plant closed his leaves, "I'll make it worth your while."

"What?" Twoey smirked at this.

"You think this is all coincidence, baby? The sudden success around here? The Music CD contract?" He moved his head towards Jess. Jess began walking away again.

"Look, you're a plant. An inanimate object!" Jess freaked out. Audrey II used his vines to grab a chair. He picked up Jess and shook her.

"DOES this look inanimate to you, punk?" He put down Jess on the chair and pointed at her, "If I can talk and I can move, who's to say I can't do anything I want?" Jess, who was scared to death, nodded.

"Like what?" She wanted to know.

"Like deliver, gal. Like see you get everything your sacred greasy heart desires." He pushed Jess back and offered her many things.

Would you like a Cadillac car?
Or a guest shot on Jack Paar?
How about making magic like the evil Jafar?
You're gonna get it, if you want it, baby.
How'd you like to be a big wheel?
Dining out for every meal?
I'm the plant that can make it all real
You're gonna get it

I'm your genie, I'm your friend
I'm your willing slave
Take a chance
Feed me and
You know the kind of eats
And red-hot treats
The kind of sticky, licky sweets
I crave

Jess went to see the other plants to see if Audrey II had henchmen, but he didn't... yet.

Come on, Jessy, don't be a putz
Trust me, and your life
Will surely rival King Tut's
Show some initiative, work up some guts
And you'll get it

A spotlight seemed to shine at Jess as she started to sing.

I don't know

"Come on, Girl!" The plant pleaded.

I don't know

Twoey drummed his vine to the beat as he said annoyed, "Lighten up."

I have so...
...so many strong...
...reservations

"Tell it to the Marines!!!" The plant wanted it to be over. Jess paced around quietly.

Should I go...
...and perform...

She looked at a knife and hedge cutters as a sign.

...mutilations?

The plant laughed his head off at the confused purple-head and giggled. He tried again.

You didn't have nothing
Till you met me
Come on, kid
What will it be?
Money? Girls?
One particular boy?
How about that Taro?

That got Jess's attention. She went up to the plant's face and glared.

"You mean you could figure out a way for Taro-kun and I to be together?"

"Sure I can, sweet thang!" Twoey rubbed Jess's shoulder in a smooth voice.

Think it over
There must be someone you could 86
Real quiet like and get me some lunch!

Think about a room at the Ritz
Wrapped in velvet, covered in glitz
A little nookie gonna clean up those zits,
and you'll get it

Jess realized what would she do with this fame. She didn't have to work hard. She didn't have to be Jesse Jackson anymore. She sang her daydream.

Gee, I'd like a dancing machine
Tooling around like I was James Dean
Making all the girls on the corner turn green

You gonna get it! Whoa, whoa!

If you want to be profound
If you really got to justify
Take a breath and look around
A lot of folks deserve to die

"Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Wait a minute!" Jess stopped the music and closed Audrey II's mouth shut, "That's not a very nice thing to say." She let go.

"But it's true, ain't it?" The plant shrugged.

"True, but I don't know anyone who deserves to get chopped up and fed to a hungry plant!" Jess complained.

"Hmmmmmmmm, Sure you do." Twoey motioned toward the door. There was a male voice arguing with someone. The door slammed open as a brown haired boy yelled at Tella, her black hair ripped up. Twoey stopped moving and pretended to be a normal plant.

"Stupid woman! D***, what a frigging scatterbrain!" The Boy yelled

"I'm sorry, Keith! I'm sorry, Keith!" Tella had tears in her eyes. Keith didn't care.

"Never even text message me!" Keith muttered.

"I did but you never read them..." She said quietly.

"Shut up and get your stupid sweater!" Keith pointed. Tella ran across the greenhouse where her pink sweater sat.

"Hi Mr. Jesse. I left my sweater here today." She said in a weak smile. When she grabbed her sweater, she gave Audrey II a kiss and ran to where Keith went. Keith snarled.

"God, if only your head was screwed on!!" Keith slapped Tella hard in the face. He left in disgust.

"OWWWW! That hurts!!" Tella wiped the blood on her face and cried. Jess was shocked and anger built inside her.

"MOVE IT!" Tella ran out of the house. Keith slammed the door so hard that it caused a picture frame of Taro Chikumo on the floor to fall and break into a million pieces. That did it. Jess breathed heavily, her face in a deep red. Twoey looked at her and smiled. They both sang out loud.

If you want a rationale
It isn't very hard to see, no, no, no
Stop and think it over, pal

The guy sure looks like plant food to me
The guy sure looks like plant food to me
The guy sure looks like plant food to me

Jess went to look for weapons. She gathered hedge clippers, scythes, chainsaws, and other things sharp.

He's so nasty treating her rough
Smacking her around
And always talking so tough

You need blood
And he's got more than enough

Happy with getting food, Audrey II jumped up and down with his pot, making the ground shake.

I need blood
And he's got more than enough

Jess ran to Twoey and they both sang in sync.

You (I) need blood
And he's got more than enooooooooooooooooooooough

"Oh yeah!" The plant crooned, "So go get it!" Jess nods and leaves with the weapons.