My bro has to fix my new computer, and then I will be all set to do facetime and other nonsense. I just hope it has a microphone because I threw my shitty one away. Actually I don't even know if it was shitty. My computer just already had a microphone.
You know I always hope that I'm staying in PG-13 terms with this site. Cussing is PG-13, right? As long as I'm not going into graphic details about nasty things.
I'm so boooored. I can't get a summer job because I'm not qualified for a job because I'VE NEVER HAD A JOB, so I'm going to go volunteer at the local arboretum, and I'm riding my bike pretty regularly, and blah blah blah. I've been drawing some, I've been reading a lot more than I used to, I have been writing a little, and I'm staying low on video games. So these are all good signs. Weee. I am just toootally dreading reading this book called "Triple Your Reading Speed" because they purposefully made every single passage boring as hell. Ugh. Lame.
Damn, I'm feeling so talkative.
I am wondering where the writing challenges are for the CreativeCommunity. Even though I'm stubborn and won't write. I was at least hoping for a monthly challenge. I'll probably contact somebody instead of just complaining about it.
Let's see... still no job. Which sucks. But I am going to look into volunteering here. So I won't be stuck in the house all day.
In other, more exciting news, I'm re-reading Terry Pratchett's Discworld novel Wyrd Sisters, which is inspiring me to write, and to write fiction at that. I want kings to die, mountains to implode, nefarious plots to be put into motion and, best of all, tragedy to strike into the hearts of it's victims. Not just a stab in the neck, but in the heart. I want to write something great, but not great in the eyes of others: great in that magnificent plots unfold and that terrible but great deeds are done. Where there is no choice between good and evil, but only between what works and does not work. Where my characters take the very fabric of the universe and unwind it into their palm. Yes, greatness! Yes, power!
But, to come down from this nice reverie, one must experiment with characters and with writing. You must find a balance between big and small, power and weakness. Good plots and bad ones. Creating systems and destroying them. All of this by your own accord. You must create to explore and tear and disassemble. Then only in the ruins of your creation may you revel and howl in what it was, and still is. For books are not passages of time, you know.
Anyways, I'm just gonna'... lie down and sleep for a while. Bluh.
Oh, and happy Independence Day, Americans.
Ugh hey guys. So yes, graduation went well, I've moved in to my brother's house, I'm looking for a job. It's all really exciting, lemme' tell ya'.
Anyways, on a more interesting note, I'm trying to create a short and fun RP. Contrary to belief, this is much, much harder than it sounds. To make things fun usually means that the interested applicants get to design their character and their character's personality, especially what is special about their character. The problem is that usually they design the character's fighting skills as well. And fighting in a roleplay usually means there's a whole freakin' story behind the conflict, and I just don't want that. Of course I could just say that you are fighting an evil wizard who is crazy and is trying to take over the world. Frustration. I don't want to do a tasteless roleplay. I demand quality, dammit. I'm thinking hard about reviving an old, ollllld roleplay I had set up. Eh, I'll figure something out.
I'm downloading Tomadachi Life from the Nintendo eShop. Screw me. I'm so lame. My friend gave me a demo of the game, and I just had to buy it an hour later. All of the personality categorizing is really interesting... I think I can learn from it. Sigh. I'm just a sucker for social things.
In other news, I've made a world for my written works I submit for the Creative Community. I didn't want to send them all through private messages. It just gives me more space to work.
And can't you tell my favorite freakin' color is gray? All of my worlds have the gray theme. Bluh. Besides Character Rewind, but I'm probably never going to post in there anyways. Interesting idea, but I have no drive.
In other news, I've posted up a story on the creepypasta wiki. I had to edit it because part of the story I fucked up. It's not really scary. Mostly it's just... interesting. And kind of sad, and kind of weird. But oh well.
My graduation is this Saturday!!!!!! :D My brother is coming here on Wednesday, and the rest of my family is coming on Thursday. This is soooo -------Exciting!!!
What else is going on... Hm. Not much. I have to take pictures of all the artwork I've done for this semester and make an artist's statement for, you guessed it, art class. But that's all. I will have, like, two or three hours to do it all tomorrow. Then I have to go to school Friday for graduation rehearsal. Bluh.
Whatever.
Why don't I read anymore? Why do I not want to? I ask myself these damning questions on a daily basis, but I just can't find the answer. Maybe it's because reading is too emotionally taxing. Or maybe it's because I feel like I'm behind in my reading abilities and have too low self-esteem to catch up. I want to read and get new ideas and learn new things, but I just don't feel like I have the energy. I think the real reason why I don't like to read anymore is because I don't want to read and learn the wrong things. What if I read an outdated science book? Or a fantasy book telling me that racism is okay? What if I read something that changes my views when I'm confused enough as it is? Life is frickin' hard, man, why do I need this extra befuddlement? Hell, I don't know... I just don't feel like I can find anything good to read. It's all predictable or I know it already. When am I gonna' find something new, you know? I guess. I don't know.
I've posted a story on the creepypasta wiki. It wasn't very good, but I didn't feel like putting all of my time into it. Which is definitely NOT what a writer does. But I don't put much time into anything I do. I write poems on the fly, my stories I come up with as I write them. Otherwise I get tired of them and then I get super into it and intricate, and all for what? Not even one view? I guess that's why I have to love my work, though. Refine it to a sharp point and then show the world what I'm made of.
I'm working on a story I came up with years ago right now. I really want to put all of my time and effort into it, but then... I know it sounds funny, but I get lost in what the work is really about. I lose track of the meaning and move on to other things. UGH I just can't focus at all. No focus here. It doesn't exist.
I am totally unsatisfied.
