I hate them... D=
It's like there's some conspiracy against me or something TT^TT
Last year, I tried applying for a summer Co-op position.. really needed the work experience and moneys.... No, no...
Lady- "So.. How old are you, by the way? 17 or 18?"
Me- "Buh.. I'm still 16, I'll be 17 by next.." -whateverday, I don't remember xD-
Lady- "Uhm... I'm sorry, you have to be 17 before we interview you, and those will be all next week before you turn 17. So, sorry! You can't get the job =D"
So happy, right..? xD
Today...
Receptionist- "Oh, we don't give out applications anymore, you'll have to do it online. *hands pamphlet with link*"
Me- "Buhh... Kay... O_____o; You did applications last time, but whatever..."
I just finished filling a bunch of crap out.... Apparently, because I have absolutely no job history, I can't fill out an application! Even MORE happy considering the money problems in the household. =D I really needed this job, but NUUUUUU! I can't get what I actually need because they're all butt-holes >O
Oh, and you know what else? I hate ebay! I need a tablet for me to do my animation, and dad decided to go to ebay so that he could bid for one below full price ((Like, I came close to a Wacom Intuos for about $50 XD)).. Well, all the bids kept screwing up, so he just purchased one from some lady.....
That was two weeks ago... Still no tablet, and we have $150 just SITTING because this WITCH has decided to withhold what we have rightfully purchased! Apparently, despite a few satisfied customers, she's had a lot of complaints from people because of her actions... GEE, I wonder why?? Maybe because, SHE'S A PAIN-IN-THE-BUM with nothing better to do with her life than screw people over!
My portfolio is due in a little more than two weeks... We're planning on taking it in by the end of the month to be sure they actually receive the materials. At this rate, I'm not doing an animation for them!
Anyone else want to screw up my life? Go ahead, I could use the extra anger and frustration! Apparently I don't get enough >O
*sigh*
... I wish I knew what God has planned.... 'cause right now, this seems to be a rather sucky deal.. I've tried to be optimistic, thanking Him for the little things, and I just got back into the swing of things.. I'd had a bit of a "backing off" moment for a while now without really realizing it, and now I'm trying to build myself back up... but it's really hard to do yourself, and I don't really have a whole lot of Christian friends left to help me up.... One of them hasn't been much of a friend since an incident involving my last ex-boyfriend.. two others I practically never see or get to speak to anymore... I was out of church for a few weeks for various reasons, so that threw me off as well.... I need so much prayer and support it's not even funny...
No, I don't think that this is my punishment from God... It's just what I get for making myself open to demonic attacks.... I really need to send out my prayer request.. So, if anyone out there is listening.. please keep me in mind.. because the more people who pray on a subject, and the more they pray, leads to amazing results that we couldn't dream of any other way....
I'll keep trying to be more optimistic, I know I need to be...
Thanks for reading.
Uhm... Going to a really serious note right now...
So.. I've been having an awful lot of personal problems come up, and I've tried to ignore them thusfar, but it's... getting worse...
And, before I say anything I want to clarify-- YES! I'm well aware that people have it worse off than I do... but it's still a really big problem, nonetheless...
See... It all started sometime last year, mom had to go on medical leave.. she has arthritis in her lower back and a cist on her spine that has been growing for a few years now.. It's not cancerous, but it's non-operable because of where it is.. She went through treatments and stuff until last October.. but she still can't stand for long periods of time, which is a major deal for where she worked... Well.. her place of employment took the good manager and moved her to another mall, then put some bimbo in place of her.. who, basically, said "I don't care if you can't stand for more than 3 or 4 hours, you'll work when I want for how long I want, or else you can expect to not have a job." So... naturally, she quit.. and hasn't had a job since..
Well.. last summer, dad was informed that he was given two choices: move to either New Mexico or Georgia, or he'd lose his job. As it is, they've been threatening to fire him and other HP (HewlettPackard) employees -because they don't like paying them- for quite a few years now.. He's worked his butt off for them, working longer than he needed to, trying to stay on their good side, not taking a single vacation, and he hadn't had a single pay raise for over 3 years, and he's our only source of income now. Well, he finally got a pay raise not too long ago and was forced to take a vacation during my winter break.... He just got a call today saying that everyone is getting pay cuts, his will be around 5-10% of his pay...
He keeps "yelling" at mom about how she needs a job to help out, but there are quite a few problems with that.. Two of which being a) they're moving in 4 months-- there's not much sense in getting a job here at this point.. and b) with how screwed over the economy is right now, no one's going to want to hire her with her back problems and she has no primary education-- businesses are too busy laying people off, why would they want to hire someone else?
Also, HP is cutting off the amount they were paying for our internet access ((dad works at home, so we all use the same internet)) and they are cutting off his work phone line in.. about a month or so...
We only have one working vehicle, so I can't get a job because I'd have no way of getting there because they can't drive me all over creation and they can't be stranded without a car. Not to mention, they've made it perfectly clear that, despite the situation, they don't want to make our income problems my responsibility and wouldn't let me help them out anyway...
We can barely afford our bills and groceries as it is, what are we supposed to do now? It doesn't help matters that mom's been frivolous in purchasing books lately since she doesn't have a job or anything to occupy her job... And, not to mention, my need for art supplies that keeps increasing... ((and I seriously mean "need," considering I actually want to become a professional artist in some sense, so I need them for my portfolio and for college))
Uhm... I'm failing one of my electives, so my GPA is going down-- which SUCKS because I need it to be higher for scholarships since, especially now, there's no way we can afford to pay for college and we're not eligible for grants ((DON'T say "Loans", I don't want to have to pay those off for the rest of my life because of interest))... Honestly, as of last semester my GPA was 3.1, and I needed a 3.2 by... tomorrow to be able to apply for one of the writing scholarships that I was going to try for... So.. I'm screwed =D
And my ACT is too low for academic scholarships-- I took it TWICE and got the same score! And, obviously, we can't afford a third attempt for me to make another 24..
.... So.. there's the sad part of my life... I hope you enjoyed learning about half of my problems. >>;
Good news:
I have one more chance at a writing scholarship, it's available for all majors and I have until March 3. So, I'm going to spend a large portion of my time writing AS MUCH AS I DARN-WELL CAN to get as much scholarship as possible... Yes, Dreams of a Slow Fade will be included, as I am quite proud of it considering I've had two teachers give me "I've never seen a high school student write like this, I couldn't even do this sort of thing! It's amazing! ='D" kind of comments.. I think it's my best work by far.
Also good news.... Hey! I'm alive!!! =D And I still have a boyfriend, which for me is a miracle because I've NEVER made it to Valentine's Day in any relationship I've been in. I loves my fox x3
And I have loving parents and friends and family in general ((Well, for the most part, but I don't want to get into that too...)).
Just remember, no matter how nasty a situation is, there's always the simple things in life that make things seem brighter. =D Be glad for sunshine and food and rain!! Especially rain if you live in the part of the South with the nasty drought going on... which.. I live in, by the way XD I love the rain, just not storms =D
Ok, I think I've flooded my journal with enough stuff for one day... Thanks for stopping by, even if it was a little depressing to read....
That, "Singles' Awareness Day", whatever you want to call it =o
Hope you gorge yourselves in candy and chocolate, go have some fancy dinner-- even if you're treating yourself.
Year 17 without a Valentine.... Only difference is that I actually have a boyfriend. >>;;
So.. Why is he not my Valentine? He doesn't seem to care any bit about it... I gave him my gift yesterday afternoon, wishing him a happy V-day.... He loved the gift and wondered how he'd make it up to me (("How am I supposed to top this??" were his exact words XD)), but when I actually said happy Valentine's day, he moaned as if he didn't want it to exist... >>
Oh well. It could be worse ^^;;;;
Anyways, have a great day, everyone!
How... Did I manage this???
I've got a comments and fan art trophy apparently? O.o
What.. exactly are these? xD;;;;
I really need some advice, pleease! Please, please someone help me D=
I feel a little odd for asking, especially to ask complete strangers, but still...
You see........ I'm a little weird when it comes to certain emotions... especially in the case of love..... Ever since my previous boyfriend (looong story), I've kinda felt like love is more than just boyfriend/girlfriend relationship situation, like there's more to it than just that, right..? I mean, sure I've felt that for a while, but I've kinda thought about it in a deeper sense lately.. like, I want to save my love for who I feel I might spend my life with, something that I want to be completely sure of........ Lately, I've been feeling like how I feel for Kevin (my current boyfriend-- he's so amazing D=) keeps growing and might just be at that point, but I'm scared to say because I don't want to screw things up..... I want to know how he feels, because I don't want him to say he loves me just because I start saying it..... I keep thinking maybe I should ask him, but then that may be awkward, but I feel really antsy trying to wait and see if he'll say on his own....... Like, I want to know how he feels in more than just whether or not he just "likes" me....
I.. dunno what I should do, really...... I want to be sure that we both feel the same way before I say anything, but I'm getting frustrated just waiting for him to tell me...... >>;;;;
I mean.... I just asked my friend, but she wasn't sure how to answer, because she and her boyfriend started saying "I love you" when they first started dating and the feeling developed and grew from there... But she said that lately when Kevin's with me, he seems so much happier and more awake ((He doesn't have a very "normal" sleeping pattern, so he's always exhausted during the day)).. But, I want to know how he feels, sincerely, without me prompting him to say something just because I do... Like, I don't want to say "I love you" routinely and have him respond in the same way, I want it to be a genuine, honest, and deep feeling, something that's actually worth saying....
((Sorry, I was probably really super-redundant just now... >>; ))
.. Any help would be more than greatly appreciated....