Hey everyone!
The Aftermath
It's been almost two weeks since my last (and rather depressing) post about my guinea pig Caramel. Since then I turned into a hyperemotional mess, most of which was a heightened feeling of compassion. It lasted for quite a while and was so bad and that it was crippling. I probably cried more times then I can remember because of it. It's a feeling that's generally hard to break into. Not that I'm not compassionate but I'm quite cynical about the world which cover's that emotion up (dare I say a defense mechanism from complete vulnerability). Once that layer is scattered however, it's like a high voltage live wire. It's the most intensely felt emotion I can feel honestly. Then imagine that heightened about 10x with the mix of grieving. Emotional rollercoaster can't even describe mess I was going though. At the same time, I learned a lot more about myself and my life so it's not all bad. It was just really intense (and depressing).
My Resting stop
After about 2 days since that post, I escaped to Brandon's for about a week. His mom and sister was on vacation so he had the house to himself. I took full advantage of it too, it was so relaxing and I was able to get myself together at the end. It really help me see things more clearly than seeing the same area where I felt the most pain in years. I was able to plan what I was going to do and get myself back to where I was so I can be productive.
New Friend!
During my stay at Brandon's we had anime night where Brandon's friends that I haven't seen in about 2 years came by, Yvette and Alex. It was really fun, me and Yvette got along great and decided to swap emails again and hang out a few days after. We traded emails since and found that we have A LOT in common, it's almost scary haha! When we met up the similarities kept coming and we talked for hours on end. The day went so fast but it was so much fun! We learned a lot about each other and it was great hanging out with another female peer that I felt comfortable with for once! The last one was Fatima and that failed horribly at the end, and that was 4 years ago GOSH.
Honestly, I was secretly wanting to hang out with another female all year really. But a lot of them outside the internet tend to be "catty" and I don't deal with that. That and I'm so much into my little world and what I'm doing that I didn't bother to try to find one. Luckily it came to me and it's working out so well! We have the same interests and she knows Japanese and she give me mini lessons randomly XD! That and we plan to hang out at the local ice cream festival this weekend.
The Last Of The Good News
I also launched a new reading for my angel reading business and gotten 3 readings (two for the new one) in one week, including two today! So things are surely looking up and I'm ready to take my life to the next level.
One more thing I want to mention is that I'm finally buckling down and learning Korean which is going quite nicely! I'm rather fond of the language (thanks k-pop) and learning it is easier for me then I expected. So I'm quite excited about that!
Okay another thing, I'm sorry that I haven't commented back on everyone's replies. I honestly just got back into the swing of things last weekend so EVERYTHING was left unchecked when I came back. I want to show everyone that is kind enough to show their support how much I appreciate their words! I hate having comments that I never replied back from people. That and I have so many arts and things to post as well.
One More Paragraph Of Wisdom
It's going to be a fantastic summer despite a hard learned lesson. (cheesy moment alert) I know caramel's spirit still lives on and god knows she never would want me to be less then who I truly am. Living out all of what I intended to do instead of letting circumstances crush me is the ultimate tribute to her. I know she is happy so I have to follow suite too. It's not the body she left behind I need to focus on, but the place we all go afterwards. Knowing that makes me feel better as I move on from this. (end cheesy moment)
Okay that's it, I'll post my most recent cards, WIPs and new art soon! Love you all!
Take care!
The past few weeks were quite interesting, full of all kinds of experiences, revelations and new plans!
Before I start, go check out my newest picture if you haven't' already! :D
Summer Plans
Well, one of my more important updates involves The Candy Sanctuary and my plans for the summer. Even though I no longer want TCS to by my life's work I DO want to make it a small hobby shop! I actually plan on opening it soon! I'm revamping the logo and branding of it into something more "fairytale dipped in chocolate" like haha!
Along with that, I will be expanding on my angel reading services with a brand new reading as well as starting a new candle project. Where people can get free handmade candles from me, all they have to do is pay the shipping, which shouldn't be much. I'm actually super excited about my candle project because it is something I wanted to do for a few months now. It's purpose is to spread love and light, no more no less, and I'm so thrilled to have something like this working out for me.
I've gotten all the materials I needed to start the project. I will probably begin soon with giveaways of the candles I made myself during the "practice stages" of candle making. I actually plan to start selling them as well.
I guess the last thing I plan to do is research on various therapies. Like sound, color, aroma and the like for healing. I actually wanted to do that for a while too but this time around I think it is the perfect time! :) I'll use those methods to create handmade products for healing all types of problems (of a spiritual nature mind you).
Everything I'm goal setting for I hope to have up and running before summer ends, and I actually have faith that those things will be successful. Which feels odd to me because I had plans like these before that never really made it off the ground, but this time I intend to succeed!
Truly got her groove back?
My creative groove, I think so! Over the last few months I've been drawing and generally been pursuing more creative endeavors and been entering in a few new ones! (like candle making) But as far as the "art" scene, YES, GOOD LORD YES I'VE BEEN BLESS WITH A STREAM OF INSPIRATION AS OF LATE. A couple of factors actually contributed in me having my healthy inspiration bloom again, but I think my acceptance of my skill level and knowing I can only get better is the biggest factor.
Because honestly, I'm so incredibly harsh on myself when it comes to my art or anything I'm doing. I always feel like, in the back of my mind, that I have to be perfect or to strive incredible odds to be "successful". That has gotten me no where but a whole lot of stressful days. I've been in that mind set for years and I actually started to tackle that thinking about a year or two ago. But after last summer my inspiration went to the shitter royally and I pretty much forgotten all that I've learned. So when I did come back time and time again, getting back in the groove was tough. Real tough...
But after this year kicked up, I started to do a lot of overhauling in my life, so of course art would be apart of it too. Though I will admit, I didn't really "address" my lack of inspiration and abundance of fear till a few days ago. But addressing my issues as an artist helped me mentally and emotionally accept myself as the artist I am "today" as opposed the artist I "want" to be. But yeah, I've done a lot of sketching after thinking of a really awesome story and that pretty much started everything.
Now I feel more confident in myself and drawing all the ideas that I have, even making new characters! :D
A Book On Love?
I guess the very last thing I want to talk about is this need to write. In the last few months for whatever reason, I've been drawn to writing. Something I haven't done in years, the last time I wrote anything (like a story) was back in college during my free time which I really enjoyed. I never got the chance to finish it however. I think it's only a few pages long. But anyway, I swear I've been getting some hints (read wild coincidences) from the universe to get writing about something!
I've actually have a lot of stories and concepts I want to write about but I think the one I'm most drawn too is... *sigh*... love stories... Like really? As much as I love super cheesy dreamy romance anything, the last thing I thought I would be writing about is love. BUT ALAS I fooled myself again with this rather pleasing concept I conceived while watching Sailor Moon Super S ( EP 1 "Dreams Take Flight" / "Meeting of Fate! The Night where a Pegasus Flies"). A whole book on short love stories about twin flames and/or romances taking place in a dream world. The short answer of what a twin flame is that it is the other half of your soul, and apparently meeting one in your lifetime is epic. I couldn't help to think that Reni and Pegasus could TOTALLY BE twin flames. That and I'm ADDICTED to their pure, innocent and dreamy romance.
I would love to write about something like that, or short stories in the same flavor. Even though a lot of other ideas came to me since then, I decided (as in a few days ago) to pursue this particular idea. After a few months of not thinking about it, I have gut feeling to do it, so I know it's the right thing to do. (YAY)
Last thing before I go, I've been reading (finally) my friend Kelsey's story NekoNeko Circus. It's really awesome and if you favor boy's love or yaoi, you'll find this fitting. So yeah, get moving and read it, you won't be disappointed! :D (I'll give you a proper comment on your world about it Kels)
Okay that's all! Three pages WOW, that's a lot from me honesty since I try to keep these no longer then a page long but I covered a lot so.... yeah...
Take care, love you all!
