Hey all!
So the first week of the New Year has passed and a lot has happened mostly good, and a another reaffirmation that I need to move out. >:T
The thing I was most excited about is my Candy Sanctuary blog, how it got 5 new followers after I posted my "How I learned to follow my dreams"" article. Thank you everyone that read it and/or started following the blog, its very much appreciated! I'll be making more posts about following your dreams because its one of my favorite subjects and its fun to write about it. I also want to do my first tutorial about coloring paper/air dry clay. Its easy to do and really good for making sweets deco. Its something I can start making in the progress that will help people do their own deco projects, especially newbie's.
I posted some wips yesterday and I'm still working on them. I really want to get that really old contest prize for Chel the bell out the way since I procrastinated that picture for way too long. At the same time I'm glad that all the time have passed because I'm more creative and flexible with my art. I'm more willing to try new things so making this picture was fun. All I have to do now is color it and add a simple background. The Candy Sanctuary one I'm really enjoying doing because I'm trying a different coloring method. Its really fun and have that kids book/fairy tale look. I'll probably use that picture for some graphics for my blog.
Brandon's birthday is coming up on the 12th and I order his presents on Amazon! I won't say what because I don't want him to come here and find out. I actually ordered the stuff at his house (where he use to live not at his apartment) and I got so relaxed there that I decided to stay the night. Its really fun staying there because I can look at reality shows, get whatever snacks/food I want because of all the fast food places, play with his cat and little sister. His neighborhood got some many stores around that you can get whatever you need/want to buy/eat, something that my neighborhood seriously lacks. I can't wait for the day where I don't have to bother with this damn neighborhood and don't have to go out the way for the most simple of things.
Which contributes for my once again feelings of needing to get the hell out of this house. When Me and Brandon come home from his house my mom was playing super loud music and was drunk. It annoys me to no end because she's pretty much a retard when she drinks, I don't like being around her. So me and Brandon are just in my room for the sake of our sanity because the music is so loud. But my mom turns it up more and more and its just unnecessarily loud so I tell her to turn it down because I can hear it (Cleary) in my room upstairs. So she turns it down a bit and I go upstairs pretty much pissed off because I hate loud music in the first place. I don't like turning my music up to a certain point because its too much for my ears. So she turns it up again even louder and I go down stairs and yell at her to turn it down I can hear it in my room. She acts like she can't hear me so I pretty much turned it down and tell her I can hear it in my room plus I have company over. While I'm trying to tell her this she turns it up so I pretty much told her off, cuss at her and pretty much called her an ass-hole because pretty much when she drinks she's is inconsiderate ass-hole. When she don't drink its fine 100% I have no major complaints but WTF when she drinks (which is almost everyday after work) I don't want to be around her and her presence annoys me. So after I raged at her, I slammed my fist on the stereo system when I should of took all three pieces and slammed it on the ground. Because I had enough of it and just having to deal with it. I've been dealing with the same situation for years and I just want to be alone by myself and live by myself. I love my family but I'm sick of living here with people, in this house, in this neighborhood. The things I want to do with life doesn't fit this insane nonsense I have to deal with time and time again. Right when I start getting comfortable maybe considering that I don't need to move out, life throws me back on track on what my true goals should be.
Needless to say I was really upset and even cried because of the endless frustration of just me living here as a whole. I mean I would be popping depression pills if it wasn't for my art, computer, and the goals I have for myself. Its the only thing that keeps me sane because quite frankly, living here sucks donkey balls. I can go over a 10 pound list why it sucks here but I chose to throw on my rose colored glasses instead so I'm not in a constant rage or depression. Its been working for me and I'm going to continue doing it but it doesn't fix the fact that its time to leave here for good. I'm not sure how its going to come about but I'm so out of here when the time comes (I want it so bad to be now).
Oh yeah, that day after my mom told me that "we needed to talk". We never did had that talk thankfully but nothing could make me feel sorry or even compassionate about what happened. I'm done with this house and the shit I have to deal with being here.
Sorry for any of those that were offended my rant and calling my mom an ass-hole. I can't sugar coat these things, it is what it is... |:T
The last good thing that happened that Brandon's presents came in the mail and my brand new angel card reading kit. The card deck is so lovely and even gave my sister and my mom a reading. I really like this new venture I'm taking with these cards and they are always accurate with each reading. I want to livestream it and give practice readings for people soon.
Sorry for the abnormally long post, my rant really took up most of it. I'm feeling much better now so no worries! Thanks for reading and I'll see you soon!
