Note: This is just a "journal entry" from somebody's diary (From Naruto). I'm not going to mention any names whatsoever in the entry either. ;] Guess who it is. When you think about it, this could really be ANY of the youngins in Naruto. So go wild. If it sounds 'emo' to you... Eh, well, I'm sure we've all felt these feelings once in a while. I tried to write it to make it relatable to everybody. So I hope you like it. ^_^ Remember, just because it sounds emo, don't automatically assume that I wrote this with Sasuke in mind.
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Dear Journal,
Today was a horrible day. I worked so hard today, I almost fainted from over exertion. Not to mention I heard the rumor mill today, and guess who's on it? Me. As if any of that is important though.
But today, I've been feeling depressed. Have you ever felt as if the weight of the world was on your shoulders? Like, if you moved just an inch, everything as you knew it would crumble and you would fail everybody? It's just lately everybody has been saying "Do this. Do that. Get it done." I have things to do too. Well, I have things to do too. It's like, I'm breathing for them or something. I know that if I left, nobody would notice. They would find some other person without a life to do their things for them. Am I a fool for letting them control me? Yes, but I feel as if I OWE everybody something. I'd feel like an evil person for NOT doing what they ask me to do for them. It's little things. And big things. But when they ignore you afterwards, not even a thank you or a glance, it leaves a scar. It's like, a word is forever etched into your mind after each deception and betrayal. "Alone" "Unwanted" "Faker" My mind is a canvas. I'm an artist. Watch me as I paint. Am I right?
Not to mention, THEY will never notice me either. (You remember who THEY indicates right?) When they walk in a room, it's like a dying sun. A falling star; bright, brilliant, and huge. They're always occupied with a fellow star though, just as bright, just as brilliant, twice as huge. They would never notice me, a black hole, who just sucks in all misery. Don't get me wrong, black holes are interesting, but only for a second. Then WHOOSH, the falling star flies by, and the black hole is just what it is. And even though I laugh at all the people that are captivated by all the shiny bright lights, I'm one of them as well. It's hard to resist. It's hard to turn your head away. I've tried too many times. I've told myself "stop, you know that they'll never love you. You're going to hurt yourself. And for what?" But who am I kidding? That NEVER works.
Well, I must stop here. Somebody's calling for me... Ha, see my point?
This if for all the girls or guys that have ever been blindly in love with someone who didn't love them back. May you have a more successful crush in the future. :] <3
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There he is again, stealing my breath away as usual. What I wouldn't give to have him smile at me...Wait, is he smiling at me? No, he's smiling at Sakura. Of course. He brushes past me, the smell of soap wafting off of his skin. I feel my breath becoming uneven and my hands start to shake. He pays no notice.
Do you know what it's like to be so in love with someone, but they don't even know you exist? Sometimes, he sees me, and smiles quickly, but it's a polite smile, intended to show his disinterest in me. His eyes never linger on mine for longer than a second. It hurts, but I deal with it. Just a small glance makes my day. A tiny smile satisfies me for a week. Anything to know that I'm not totally invisible.
I dream of running my fingers through his soft, blond hair. How would it feel? Like velvet and chocolate and all good things combined together. What does he dream of? Running his fingers through Sakura's hair probably. Or kissing her soft lips. Why wouldn't he love her? She's powerful. Unlike me. She's beautiful. Unlike me. She's funny and outgoing. Unlike me. She's what I wish I was. She's everything I'm not. And that gives him all the more reason to love her.
Despite all of these factors, I still dream about him. He's still the person I think about before I fall asleep. His laugh resonates in my head like bells. It's the only thing I ever hear. Sure, I'm a fool in love. But it's a reason for me to get up in the morning. He's a burst of vibrant color in my black and white life. Am I setting myself up for heartbreak? Of course. But if my heart is in his hands, he would be too kind to shatter it; he would never. Am I blindly in love with him? Maybe. But I can see enough to know that I'm irrevocably in love with him. He might be one source of sadness in my already bleak life. But he's my only source of happiness. And I would be stupid to give that up.
Love. What a wonderful feeling.
Love. What a horrible feeling.
