THIS IS WHERE I TALK ABOUT THINGS THAT ARE AVERAGE IN MY LIFE. OR RANDOM THINGS IN MY LIFE THAT I THINK SHOULD BE HERE. ENJOY YOUR STAY.

WARNING:: Very Personal, Read At Your Own Risk

This post is to update those who stay involved in my life as my friends, and not merely as subscribers to my drawings because they're pretty.

I'm currently dealing with depression and anxiety, and I haven't been doing much drawing aside from the few posts I made recently. Yuki and I broke up October 13th, 2014, and it hurt me quite badly. But we had continued to hang out, watching movies and cuddling, playing video games, doing song covers...blah. We pretty much had been re-kindling what we had only just destroyed.

Then, on November 7th, something amazing and awful happened at the same time. I was spending the night at his place, and no one else was around, and I gave up my virginity to him. It may have been the biggest mistake I've ever made. I didn't want to work things out with him at first, but then, I changed my mind, and by then...HE didn't want to try anymore. So, we just kept going on the way we had been, despite the choice. We would cuddle, watch movies, play video games, sing together, and have sex, sometimes multiple times in one night.

This continued until he met some girl at the club we both go to, and even then, he still had me coming over and spending the night. They made their relationship official on his birthday, the 21st of December, but like I said before...he was still having me come over and spend the night.

On the 28th, I got extremely drunk at his place, and we were playing Black Ops against each other...The penalties we came up with weren't very appropriate. I told him that if I won, I got to do whatever I wanted (I never specified what, and hadn't originally meant for it to be taken sexually), but he took it seriously, and made the penalty for me if he won...well... giving him head and not stopping anything till he was done.

He defeated me, obviously, because I could hardly keep from swaying...and that's when he caught me off guard by taking the penalty agreement seriously.

I stopped mid-way, called myself horrible, and he replied with, "How are you the horrible one when I'm letting you help me to cheat on _____?" He knew EXACTLY what he was doing (he had only had half a Corona anyway).

Then, on the 1st of January, he stopped talking to me, and moved away to live with her. When he left, I was in the middle of a pregnancy scare that he was aware of, and he was the only one I had been intimate with. When I had told him, he gave me two options: abort it or put it up for adoption if I was indeed pregnant.

I miscarried.

He doesn't know.

But because of that, and because of his actions, I've been deeply depressed, so I haven't felt much inspiration to draw.

I apologize for this; once I am feeling more up to it, I promise to upload more art.

Until then...please bear with me.