My Greatest Apology.

In general, Summer is officially over. Though, for me, even as it was very eventful, it was the worst summer over....and the worst period in my life.

I have screwed so many people over and my lack of communication is to blame.

As a result it seems I have cut off communication with those whom I speak of.

I should've known better. It feels like I've destroyed so many friendships. I need to fix things yet for some reason, fear restrains me. Right now, I am facing the biggest regret of my life and its a different story then what I've been speaking of. No, I have not given the specific details of those events/situations throughout the summer. Theres no need for that. But right now, as I said, Im facing my biggest regret yet. This time, it might play out to be quite a challenge to change things....resulting in yet, another screw-over....and yet I would feel content.

What kind of human am I? I never dreamed of my life becoming such a nightmare.

I really need to get my life in order. But as it seems, I would have to slightly go against who I am in order to do so. And in all honesty, I dont want to. Who I am as a human isn't all that bad despite what I've said before.

In fact, the human that I am is much different than many others, Im sure, and in all reality, I am given great qualities that many humans do not possess.

Forgive me for using the term 'humans' so much. I really don't like to be labeled as a human...seriously. And therefore, I wish to be under a different classification. Thats not to be taken humorously. In my reality (we all have our own), I am embarrased to be a human. I know I cannot escape this human I am and its fate.

Those who have read this far, if you are concern with these matters I speak of, I mean no offense. And I know for a fact, you to, are different. The people on here are one of a kind and you's are the first I would come to for any guidance. No, Im not asking it for it now.

I'm only posting this to vent and because whenever I write about the serious things in life that bother me, I tend to feel better, as I do now. But I dont know how I can forgive myself. Please know that I am not posting this for attention.

In time, I will find my answers and face the difficulties in this life.

Take care everyone. Peace.

The Death of Today.

Why does today have to die? Great, now my tears are building up...seriously.
Anyway, it goes without any doubt, that today, was the greatest day in my life. I know more will come like this and will be even better but Im just going to reflect on today for now. I have never in my life spent pretty much the whole day with someone who I truly care about and means everything to me and who I really love....until today. This is not one of your typical tragic teenage romances. This is something more. I seriously never said I love you to someone and really felt like I meant it. But when I say it to her, I feel so....true to myself...and to her. Its the greatest feeling in the world. By the way, Im speaking of my flawless girlfriend, Jessie, for those are a wee bit slow. :)

Anyway, Im not writing this post to explain how my day went and the things I did...Im writing this to vent some sadness. It seems like writing is somewhat a cure to me....whether others read this or not plays very little role.
Lovely, I feel like writing some poetry now.

To think the day has died now, brings much sorrow to me. Not just because of how my day went, but because now I wont see her for nearly a week. It drives me crazy and saddens me...but at least she'll be having fun. As long as shes happy, Im happy. Thats all I live for now.

I wish I was going to Otakon. I believe I said why I cant go a few posts back.
I need to find deliverance from this place. I've had enough.

Promise of a Lifetime.. [pt2.]

Some would believe that they would never see thier friends anymore after highschool. I was led to believe this..but I would always carry hope with me. Some people that you run across with in life can really affect you. Good or bad, thats for you to decide. For me, the outcome was good. There were days when I just there in the cafeteria just listening, wondering. There was so much life around me, that I felt useless. I would not let this thought control me though. But now they want me to move on.

About a year later

I have tossed aside a life that was wasted. Now, my final life begins. I dont know where Im going in this life, or what Im supposed to do. All I know is that I wont be doing it alone. For this, I can die today, and be the happiest man yet the saddest of all. But that wont happen, for I am strong. And I've made a promise.

PART 3! COMING SOON! Secrets will be revealed.

Promise of a Lifetime [Story pt. 1]

I am just a kid... a young adult if you may, but I feel my life is already completed. There were days when all seemed at an end, when all hope was drained from me, and when the sun would not rise again. My name is Nate. This is the final and yet first chapter of my life.

It was my final year in high school. I would be graduating soon. It was in the cafeteria one day during lunch when my life would change...forever. I was known as the wierd kid or an alien. I looked at things differently than most people. Yet, that was not why I was given such titles. Let me get to the point here. This was the day where I knew I found her but I remained lost in what they called the game of love. It was no game to me. Nor was it a fantasy. I found someone who I knew I would never regret loving, no matter what was to happen in the future. She was perfect...everything I ever asked for. And yet, I would not come to realize this until a year later.

TO BE CONTINUED.....eventually.