Only the BEST Valentine's Day I've Had

Today was a super, fantastic, amazing day! Probably one of the best days spent with Brandon. He is so great <3. I can't even explain to you guys how amazing he makes me feel. Many others (many) have been in my life and made me feel "in love" and amazing, but not like this. Nothing has EVER felt this good in my entire life. It's just this amazing euphoria and greatness.
I had a terrible night of sleep last night, but in the morning Brandon picked me up to take me to school <3. Even though he never gets up that early, he did it for me! Not only that but on my 2 hours off, he came into my school and sat in the commons with me and Kaylee and sister. It was really great, even though some guy decided to call me a bitch. Nothing new, though. haha. After school we went to his house...had a little fun and cuddled and stuff. It was nice :3. Then we went out to eat and got a banana split. Hehe. Yummy! We went to my house after but then ended up leaving again only to go back to my house and then to leave once more! haha. We went for a drive because he had to take a friend home but it was fun. They were being silly and then the drive back I just sat there and held his hand. He's so great! Gaaah! And amazing. When we got back to my house he picked up one of my tapers for my ear and asked about gauging his ear. I laughed because it was a size 2 and that's large for someone who has like a 16g in. So I put my little taper in (size 6g) which worked. But then I had to show him something I discovered last night. If my ear is all soapy and wet (it's a 00g), I can stick half of my pinkie in it XD. I so badly want to go a size bigger, but I don't know if I should I really would like to.

All evening two things have been taking over my thoughts. One-how I'm going to make it so I can sleep over at Brandon's house this weekend, because I love sleeping with him. I love being in his arms and being right next to him so if anything goes wrong, he's right there. <3. The second thought is moving in with him when I turn 18. It's been a reoccuring thought for the past month, maybe a little less. At any rate, I want to so badly to be able to live with him, but we both need jobs. The problem is, I am super attatched to my family/mom. I don't know how on earth I could live without her. haha. She kinda keeps me together. As does Kaylee. I would be so lost without those two keeping me on track xD. I'm kind of a ditz. Not only that but I'm going to be 18 once September rolls around and I'll still be completing my senior year in highschool, so if I do in fact move out, I think I would wait until atleast January/the second semester to see how everything is going. I plan on taking some vigorous courses. It's going to be crazy, and I know it. And I am not a highly motivated gal! I'll tell you what! haha. I'm lazy as hell, but I know that I have the brains.

I hope you all had a very fantastic and enjoyable valentine's day.

Day Before Valentines :O

Today seemed full of suspense being the day before Valentine's day. Intense excitement. For many reasons. My school does these things called "sing-o-grams" for Vday and the madricals (sp?) go around singing certain songs. I sent 2 of them to my sister! hahaha. I told her she needs to experience it. She's a freshman. Then I bought one for this one girl that decided to call my friend a mean name. XD. It shall be fun. Then I bought Kaylee and Hanna and myself (teehee) valentines suckers they hand out during homeroom (our 2nd hour class). I'm even moreso excited now because Brandon is planning to pick me up in the morning to take me to school. :3. How sweet! He's going to pick me up from school, too. :D. I'm also going to try and see if he can eat lunch with me (I don't really see why he wouldn't be able to). Otherwise Kaylee and I plan on leaving 6th hour to go with him and to hang out for the hour, because we totally can do that as Juniors and seniors at my school. I don't really know about other schools and I'm sure we're not the only school to do that haha but it's still awesome. I'm mostly just excited to see Brandon though. I'm always excited to see him. <3. Right now I have this splitting migraine and I am hoping it goes away when I sleep. Which is what I'm going to do now. Nighty-night friends <3

Thinking About The Future

A lot of my friends and I have been thinking more about future stuff with school and jobs. What classes we need to take, whether or not we should take anymore math classes or science classes. I had planned on skipping out on physics all together, but I have decided that it is in my best interest to take it. I don't see how it could be so difficult. It's mostly math, and I am pretty good at math as long as it has nothing to do with geometry XD. And I'm sure that it doesn't. The real big thing though is whether or not I should take a math class, because I want to major in history. What will I really need math for? Besides basic classes needed in college. Can't be too difficult, rigth? Bleh. I need to stop in the guidence office and ask them about it. Especially since we are going to schedule for our classes next year soon. I'm rather scared for growing up, even though I am excited for it. I hate high school so much. I hate people, mostly. I love learning. I don't enjoy seeing stupid people with stupid actions with stupid faces. haha. I just don't like people. My friends often get frustrated with me because I usually determine wheter or not I like someone on how much they annoy me. I am still nice to people though. Unless they are assholes. haha. Another thing is the ACT. I really don't want to take that. I am scared so hardcore, because my composite score was a 17 on the practice. A SEVENTEEN! WTF! That's horrible! Really horrible! I have to study my ass off to get atleast a 22. That's my goal. A 22. I have to schedule to take it in April before March 29th or something so that's another thing I need to go to guidence for. My family can't afford to pay for it. :/. Savannah brought up early graduation and stuff which is something I'm really really interested in. I would LOVE to get out of high school ASAP! haha. On top of all of this school business. I feel like me and Brandon are really going to work out. I know that it has always been an aspiration for me to settle down and get married and have kids. Always. I have never wanted anything different, as much as I can't stand children XD. Out of all of the relationships I have had (which I have had many), I have, for the most part, got somewhat attatched-sometimes overlyattatched. haha. I would have to say there are a total of 2 guys, aside from Brandon, who I felt like I could have a future with. There was one other guy, but I was in denile about it. I knew it wouldn't work out, I just knew it, but I pushed that back and convinced myself that it would. And guess what. It didn't. But that's okay because I have Brandon now, and he is amazing and treats me right <3. Anyways, the first guy, I was in middle school. He was my longest relationship (even now, the longest I've had. 5 months lol xD very silly). He was my "first love" (not not sexual). We were pretty much inseperable and all that jazz lol. It was so...cliché. haha. Then Brent, who I had lost my virginity to. He and I knew we what we wanted, we even were "engaged" haha but again, I was just coming out of middle school and going into the high school. Something I couldn't ever picture lasting now. It was real, though, what he and I had. It just wasn't meant to be. We weren't meant for eachother and it's clear now. As for me and Brandon, I am so dead scared. I mean really scared. Those 2 other serious relationships I had, I chickened out in. When I felt that I wasn't in control of my emotions or their emotions (but come on, Cari, when are you EVER in control of ANYONE'S emotions. That is really not plausible). Right now, what scares me is that I'm ready for this serious relationship. I'm ready for being serious with him. Emotionally, anyways. I am scared of not being scared. I am also scared of getting too attatched. Scared of becoming obsessed. I was accused of being obsessed by my ex Kurtis, but I really wasn't. I know I wasn't. But right now with Brandon, he's all I can think about. It's crazy and it's driving me crazy. I am just so happy that I found somebody that makes me so happy and treats me right and is just an overall awesome guy. It's different then the other 2 guys. For one, I'm much older and have matured A LOT and I am much more responsible. For two, I know where I want to go in life (school, college), For three, I can be honest with Brandon. I'm not ashamed of anything, I can tell him when I'm mad, sad, and all of that emotional stuff. I can confront him. I love that. I love that about our relationship and quite frankly it has made me grow to love myself. I feel like our relationship has inspired me to strive for a better me. Yes, I may be an okay or even a good person, but I am always looking for ways to improve myself. To better myself for me and people around me. It feels great.

And there are my fun thoughts of the day. XD

Saturday Recovery Day #2

So yesterday was my 2nd "recovery day" out of four from my oral surgery. I woke up quite a few times in the middle of the night and took some ibuprofen and hydrocodone to make the pain go away lol. It was all okay, though. I was in a really good mood until my little sister Jaidyn started being disrespectful to me. I was NOT okay with that, nor am I ever okay with it. We finally left to go eat lunch (which I could only eat french fries lol). I met Brandon at this mattress place because my aunt and uncle wanted to go check it out to get a new mattress. I was extremely out of it because at noon I had taken a hydrocodone (at the scheduled time) and was all drugged up. I could barely walk or see straight lol. Brandon was kind of being a meany about it, but he was only playing around so I wasn't offended lol. I was extremely irritable and just felt kind of numb. Really stressed out and kind of depressed. I know this feeling won't last too long, but I hate it when it comes. With everything going on I was about ready to explode and I was just really crabby and I feel horrible about it, but I just got all of my wisdom teeth taken out, I was in pain, I was drugged up, tired, and emotional-that last thing I needed was 2 little girls crying and whining about everything. It really sucked. I swore last night to one of the girls that one day she will have her wisdom teeth removed and I'll make damn sure I'm there annoying the crap out of her. Brandon was being really supportive though. I appreciate it more than anything. He's such a sweet guy and I just love him so much. I am so happy he and I are back together and I can't imagine him not being in my life. I don't think I've ever appreciated another human being this much in my entire life. Of course I have appreciated my best friend, Kaylee, but he treats me...like a princess. It's amazing. I almost feel as if I'm not good enough for him, though. I don't feel special enough, but I am not taking any of the time I have with him for granted. I cherish literally every single second I have with him. Every single second. One day, I want to marry him. I want to bear his children (Miroku moment) and I want to complete his life as much as he completes mine. I wish I could just simply tell him that, but it's hard for me to come outright and say it. I have, and I am positive he knows I feel this way, but still. I don't know. I'm starting to get really loopy from the meds so I'm gonna end this here.

Recovery Dayy

So yesterday I got the wisdom teeth out. I was so scared. I almost started crying, especially when Brandon called me because it made me with he was by my side even more. D:. I love him. <3. After my mom left the room they set me all up, and the last thing I remember was the Dr. talking to me about Star Trek and The Big Bang Theory because of my Star Trek tshirt that I was wearing. Then he stuck the versed in and I was out. I barely remember them putting me in the wheel chair and putting me in the recovery room chair. Then I vaguely remember the nurse putting that ice pack around my head, which I didn't realize they still did that. After I felt better from the anesthesia, I took a hydrocodone-just half though, but got home and took the other half and then I was out within 30 minutes. I didn't get sick last night like I have been the last week in the middle of the night, so that's a plus. But I did wake up at like 3:30 am and couldn't fall back asleep and I'm assuming it's because of the amount of sleep I got that day? I don't know. But I finally fell back asleep and when I woke up again my mom asked me if I was in any pain, and I wasn't but then by a half hour I NEEDED to take another hydrocodone and it didn't kick in for a while. It still kind of hurts. I was going to go to my grandma's house, I call her Momoo, for the day because we figured I'd need to be watched, but me and my mom decided that I should be okay. If I need anything I could just call her and have her come get me. She just lives down the street. I'm really looking forward to 1:00 to see Brandon, he's coming to see me. I'm super duper excited. Then after Kaylee gets off of school at 3, she's coming to see me too <3. I have the best of friend ever. And the best boyfriend. It feels like for the first time in my life (since Yesterday morning) I just feel really complete. Really good and really loved. I've never felt this way about a guy in my entire life. Ever. And Kaylee, our relationship just keeps getting stronger and stronger and we've been through so much together that it's hard to keep us apart. Even when we go through our tough times. I can't really express how thankful I am for them. I made a status expressing how thankful I am for my family and friends and boyfriend and tagged them all in it. I'm mostly thankful for Kaylee and Brandon though, because they just get me. And they are so nice and sweet. And 100% there for me and I just don't feel like my mom and family is 100% there for me like they are. I'm pretty bored right now, though. I'm thinking about posting some new cards.<3