My name is Uzumaki Naruto! I am the seventh Hokage of the Hidden Leaf Village, and I will not fail to protect my home, -ttebayo! That is MY ninja way!

Okay, I'll cut the crap. I'm young and "inexperienced" :P but WHO THE HELL CARES! >D I'm going to show the world what it really means to see peace! Believe it!

And to all the ladies...I'm single. :] *shuriken'd*

Oh God.

My internet isn't working too well right now, because APPARENTLY, Konoha and TECHNOLOGY don't go good TOGETHER. I think that's utter bullshit. -w- IT'S REALLY JUST ANNOYING. WORK, DAMMIT! WORK!

I'm really just chillin' in my Hokage chair right now, for once being bored. Maybe I can get Deidara to work with the Teme on some mission just so I can watch them the entire time. *SHIELDS HIMSELF FROM SAKURA-CHAN* DON'T HURT ME, I WAS KIDDING!

We got a guy who knits (evil knitting, by the way) on the Otaku High like...yesterday. He's kinda creepy, but like I said...he knits. HE ACTUALLY KNITS. And he's got some good stuff too... Ven knows him, but I reeeeally don't see any kind of co...con...SOMETHING THAT BONDS THEM TOGETHER. Vanitus sounds ultra foreign and weird. But most of the people I'm around are weirdoes anyway. >.>;

I think that's all for now!

-Uzumaki Naruto, Bored- But-Hopefully-Not-Bruised Hokage

*shudders*

I had a nightmare last night. O_O I was alone in the room with a version of my younger self, right? And we started talking about the best ramen..and then suddenly...WE WERE SURROUNDED BY HUNDREDS OF TEMES.

The worst part?

THEY COULDN'T EVEN WEAR THE SAME FREAKING OUTFIT! AND THEN THEY ALL STARTED TAUNTING ME, "I'm not going back to Konoha. And you know what else? I LOVE you Naruto! LET ME HELP YOU WITH YOUR CLOTHES!"

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAARGGGG.

I DON'T SWING THAT WAY.

I don't want to be alone with millions of Sasukes. With different clothes. HELL, I DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE WITH JUST ONE.

I'm scarred for life. I don't ever want to see him again.

Maybe I should stop sleeping in my office...>w>;

<--- it looked like THAT. BUT MULTIPLY THEM D:

-Uzumaki Naruto, Traumatized and Straight-As-A-Ruler Hokage

Tag

How to Tell if you’re a Narutard. Mark the ones you agree with/ apply to you.
Add up your score. <3

[X ] You own a Naruto headband.
[ ] For each village.
[ ] You’re mad I didn’t call it by its proper name “hitai-ate”
[] You don’t have one but you WANT one.
[] If you hear someone say “Believe it” you giggle.
[X] It’s actually “-ttebayo” or “dattebayo”.
[X] Any “emo” you see is classified as a “Sasuke”
[X] Long haired people have “Neji hair”.
[X] If people ask your ambition, you reflexively say “To be the Greatest Hokage!”
[X] There is a difference between NaruSasu and SasuNaru.
Total: 5

[X ] Ramen is the most important meal of the day. (HELL YEAH!)
[X ] You have a crush on (or) are married to one of the characters.
[ ] And you have children.
[ ] You only write fanfictions about Naruto.
[ ] They’re mostly lemons.
[X ] Hiruzen is probably the biggest badass in the series.
[X ] Even though he’s dead.
[X ] Who else pops up in a freaking filer and talks?
[X ] Plot-No-Jutsu is the cause of everything.
[X ] You cry when you hear Aqua Times’ “Mayonaka no Midnight” because you saw the trailer for Naruto with that song playing in the background. (IT WAS SAD, OKAY?!)
Total: 7

[ ] You poke people’s foreheads to show you’re better than them.
[ ] And say, “Sorry (Name), this is it.”
[X ] You still want to know what’s under Kakashi’s mask.
[] He’s still sexy, even though no one can see anything under there.
[X ] Eye bleeding = Uchiha
[X] Being late means you just got lost on the path of life.
[X ] Or a black cat crossed your path.
[X ] Or an old lady needed help crossing the street….

Total: 5

[X ] It’s NARUTO, not “Naru-to”.
[X ] Not a boy? Not a girl? It’s a Deidara.
[X ] Or is it a Haku?
[ ] He’s taken by Sasori, by the way.
[ ] Who’s been cheating on him with Sakura…
[X ] Sakura + Big Boobs= The worst fan art you’ve ever seen.
[ ] Sasuke really loves Sakura.
[ ] He just won’t admit it.
[X ] And he’d kill her before he tells her….

Total: 5

[X] You know how to do a “Toad Sage Dance”
[X] You perform it whenever you hear “Jiraiya’s Theme”.
[X] You have Jiraiya’s theme on your MP3 and/or iPod.
[ ] You say “OH HO HO!” when you see something you find attractive.
[X] You have character theme songs on your iPod.
[ ] All of them.
Total: 4

[X ] Hearing “I will do my best!” makes you think of a green jumpsuit.
[ ] It’s “Shika! Don’t go into the meadow!” Instead of, “Bambi! Don’t go into the meadow!”
[] Speaking of Shikamaru, “What a Drag” is the perfect thing to say when you don’t feel like it.
[X] It’s actually “Troublesome”, since you watch the Japanese version.
[] You would murder your entire clan for a Klondike bar.
[] David Bowie is Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura’s teacher.
[X] Except he’s not.
[X] You know all the words to “Training Ninjas” by LittleKuriboh from Naruto Abridged.
Total:4

[X ] You have the whole Naruto series in your house.
[X ] And plushies.
[ ] You also make them talk.
[X ] Orochimaru is Michael Jackson.
[ ] You know how to say “I need Sasuke’s body” in Spanish.
[X ] Or any other language.
[ ] You cosplay as Naruto characters.
[ ] Every year.
Total: 4

[X ] Whenever you see the Joker, you think of Hidan.
[ ] Art is always a bang.
[X ] Your favorite colors are orange, blue, black, and white.
[X ] You search toy stores for little blue balls, just so you can yell, “RASENGAN!”
[X ] Bonus points if it’s a big ball. Then you can shout, “ODAMA RASENGAN!”
[ ] You complain about Naruto being on Disney XD and you still watch it.
[ ] And record it every week.
Total: 4

[X] When someone raises their hand in class, you think, “Be gone…with the Thunder Clap!”
[X] When you hear “judgment” you think of Pain.
[X] When you watch other anime you think of them cosplaying as Naruto characters.
[X ] Especially Kurosaki Ichigo. He would be Naruto.
[X ] Too much eyeliner? Must have the Shukaku.
[X ] It’s not Gaara of the Sand, it’s Gaara of the Funk.
[X ] You know who Tenten is.
[] And you can RP as her.
Total: 7

[X ] You know Naruto hand signs.
[X ] Enough to form Jutsu.
[X ] You play Pockie Ninja. (DON'T JUDGE ME!)
[ ] Every day.
[X ] You own at least three Naruto video games.
[X ] You can RP as Naruto.
[X ] Perfectly. :D
[ ] You can count how many naked men Sasuke has been around.
[X ] Zetsu counts.
[X ] You notice that all of the women around Sasuke have been flat chested and wonder if he’d fall for Tsunade.
[ ] So you write fanfiction about it.
Total: 8

[ ] You avoid drinking alcohol so you can avoid going into a “Loopy Fist” rage.
[ ] You shout “CHAAAAA!” when you’re about to punch someone.
[X ] You realize how much Vegeta sounds like Gaara.
[X ] You can point out the Naruto voice actors in every anime/ cartoon.
[ ] You realize that Naruto’s eye color is darker in the anime than it is in the manga. (IT IS?!)
Total: 2

[X ] Eight Sword Style can only be done by Killer Bee.
[X ] Only a black anime character could ever take out Sasuke.
[X ] You add “-No-Jutsu” to everything.
[ ] You have Naruto T-Shirts.
[ ] Custom Made.
[ ] You are/were hooked on NaruSasu/SasuNaru, ItaSasu, SasoDei, etc at some point.
[X ] Yuri also counts. S-Sakura-chan, please don't kill me...
[X ] F*cking Nar-rators!
[X ] I’ll get you back….. somehooooooowww!
[X ] You realize that only a true Narutard could make this, and mentally tip your hat to them.

Total: 7

1 to 30- You’re not a Narutard. Not yet.
31 to 53- Half and half. You know quite a bit, don’t you?
54 to 82- W-Well…I didn’t know you liked it so much…
83 or Higher – YOU NARUTARDED FOOL! Congrats! You’re practically part of the series! Well, you probably knew that already, with all of the fanfiction you write… Now stop making out with your ninja boyfriend!

I GOT HIGHER THAN I THOUGHT I WOULD! 62! .w. Wait...HOW MANY WEIRD PEOPLE DO THIS STUFF?! D:

I TAG THE TEME. :P

WELL, DAMN.

So the Teme's not really a problem anymore. You could kinda say we worked out our differences for now, but now I probably have to visit Sakura-chan at the hospital. Haha... >w>;

GOOD NEWS IS, THE FESTIVAL'S GONNA BE STARTIN' SOON! ALRIGHT! And the tournament too. Who will win? Boys or Girls? Girls are kinda scary... We did some random match ups and we got the pairings:

Sakura Haruno vs Bruce Parker
Hime Arai vs Suzaku Kururugi
Miranda Farron vs Faye Hargil
Trish vs Uzumaki Naruto
Inu vs Drew Astor
Chero Aoyama vs Sasuke Uchiha
Casa Astor vs Bruce Parker

We had to have one guy go twice because there weren't enough guys and I HAD TO JOIN. I mean geez. I'm Hokage! :P

The Maid Cafe's holding an auction too, and there will be one boy who will be auctioned off. Or maybe two. Probably one. I DON'T KNOW, ASK HIME-TTEBAYO! -w- I can't DOOO everything!

AND INU, STOP BEATING ME IN BLACK OPS! THAT'S AN ORDER! BELIEVE IT!

-Uzumaki Naruto, He-Who-sucks-at Zombie-Shooting Hokage

Well, that's scary to look at.

....that was so scary I covered my eyes when I first saw it. ON IMPULSE.

;w; God, Sasuke. Is that what you meant by "power"?
BECAUSE THAT'S CREEPY AS HELL.

-Uzumaki Naruto, Traumatized Hokage