Heya guys. Just wanted to say "hi".
OK, that's not entirely true. I want to say more.
After posting that one picture and feeling so proud, I have art block again. I mean, I have some motivation, but no ideas.
I also kinda want to write my stories again. It's been such a long time, that I feel a little afraid to go back. I was also debating as to whether I should post my stories on Toyhouse. Anyone else have an account there? (Don't worry; my stories won't leave theO.)
I'm trying to think of a topic for this month's discussion. "What upcoming anime are you excited about?" seems a little too generic. I was kicking around the idea of something having to do with reboots, sequels, and spin-offs, although I vaguely remember having a discussion about that some years ago. Any thoughts/suggestions?
In other news, I'm starting an anime DVD collection. So far I have a whopping four series. To be honest, I'm limiting it to series that I really like a lot, so that my wallet doesn't hurt too much.
And that's really it. Not much going on in Keba-land. I hope you all are well. If you want, you can let me know in the comments. >.< Dang, I sound like a YouTuber now. Or you could just make a World post. Whichever works best for you.
I can't even think of a proper title. Bleh.
Anyway, I have a couple of updates.
I'm suffering from an art block. I already missed the deadline for the Kagamure Challenge, and I don't think I'll finish my theO MMO thing in time. I guess I'm not doing OC October either. -_- It's a shame that I can't contribute more, but I just can't force myself.
What I've been focusing on more is music. I'm pretty sure my brother's friend will stop by to help me with my computer this coming week. At least I hope so. Then I can host my Challenge.
Speaking of music, I still haven't gotten a straight answer from anyone about what to do with my CD Collection World. Is anyone still interested in it? No one's given me any review requests yet (I get that it's hard to pick from 200+ choices, which is why I haven't just jumped in). I also should update my master list with more stuff. Please, please, PLEASE give me feedback on this.
I just subscribed to FUNimation the other day. My name there is (surprise!) KebaFox. Feel free to add me as a friend.
What brought on this subscription is two things. The first is that they extended the free trial period to 30 days, and I wanted to take advantage of that. The second is that FUNi is going to lose their license to Baccano! in, like, a week, and that anime has been on my list for some time. I'm finally watching it, and it's very intriguing. Violent, but intriguing.
Only time will tell whether I continue my subscription after the trial period ends. I probably won't, though.
In other news, I still have an art block. I have two traditional drawings in the works, and two of the three Challenge prizes sketched and scanned, but once I finish those (and that third Challenge prize), I have no clue what to do next.
My problem, as I've stated before, isn't subject matter. It's situations. I've looked up those "draw the squad" memes, but most of them are absolutely silly. If anyone comes across any group pictures or prompt meme-type-things that I might find inspiring, please link them. Thanks.
I'm kind of irritated for a few reasons which I shall list below. Don't worry; they're all otaku-related, making things a bit more interesting.
Reason One
I have artist's block AND writer's block. Yesterday, I came on theO to find FUNi's amazing art of my OCs. It filled me up with so much creative energy that I wanted to do something productive right then and there. But I couldn't. I had to go to work.
After a messed up day at my new job, I came home drained. I haven't wanted to create anything since. Not fan art. Not original art. Not those requests that I owe people. Not my stories. Not even that long overdue ACen thing that I sated a month ago.
I have a tiny backlog of drawings, but they're kind of spoilerific for one of the stories I'm writing. Not sure if I wanna post those.
Speaking of my stories, I'm really out of practice writing them. I've even reached a dead end in Survival Instincts, and with my beta maybe-resigning, I don't know if I'll ever get anywhere with it. I have a clearer vision for my other stories, but I don't feel like writing either of them.
I'm forcing myself to work on the Challenge prizes. I don't believe that my art is at its best when it's forced, but I'm trying to do it anyway.
Reason Two
ART THIEVES ARE TAKING OVER THEO! I'd rant on and on about how bad of an effect this is having on theO's community, but you probably know all the reasons why art theft is bad already.
Reason Three
I wrote a long post about the fairly new (at least to the US) manga, The Seven Deadly Sins a few weeks ago. In the last paragraph I mentioned my excitement for the anime premiere.
Well, I waited for Crunchyroll to pick it up. And I waited. And waited. And on the date of the premiere, I was still waiting. Heck, the second episode aired earlier today and I'm STILL waiting for a simulcast.
Rumor has it that Netflix snapped up the series. Too bad for me because (a) Netflix ain't free and (b) Netflix ain't simulcastin'. Then again, this isn't a solid fact (though people are treating it as such). But if it IS true, then I won't be able to see the series until after it's aired in its entirety.
I am stressing over this WAAAAAAAY too much, but knowing that I'm making a big deal over an anime isn't helping me any.
Reason Four
I have to watch, like, 60 episodes of anime this week. While that in and of itself isn't a bad thing, I don't know when I'm going to find the time.
I checked four DVDs out of the library, and I got a notice that one of them had come in. I wasn't able to get to the library until a few days later, and when I picked up the DVD, I saw that two more had come in just then. I kind of hoped that I wouldn't have to check all three out at the same time, but that's exactly what happened. I'll have them for two weeks, but week one is almost over. I don't know if I can renew any of them.
Well, I know what I'll be doing on my day off tomorrow.
I don't usually post stuff like this, but I need to do some blogging therapy. Now.
To the people I owe drawings, I'm sorry they aren't up by now. I started them for real (as opposed to all the false starts and scrapping), but for some reason, I just can't make myself pick up that pencil/stylus now.
I guess it's because I see all these artists that are more skilled and/or more loved than I am here on theO. I've been an Otakuite for nearly five years, and I hardly see any improvement in my art. I'm not an amazing artist, so I have no chance of being recognized. That's made me want to post art even less, which is very counterproductive.
I feel like I'm not doing enough. There have been people that have only been on theO for a short while, and they're running circles around me and rubbing shoulders with legendary members. Even when I try my hardest, few people give me the time of day.
I subscribe and comment when I can, but I feel like, more often than not, it isn't reciprocated. Sometimes I'm outright ignored. I don't know if I'm annoying or pushy or what.
I sound like such a brat right now. I apologize for that. It's just that I'm very depressed because I'm under-employed, running out of medication, shut in my apartment for most of the time, and steadily gaining weight. Realistically speaking, there ain't no way I'm losing 40 pounds in 3.5 months when Anime Central rolls around. Goodbye, cosplay.
Lately, I've been feeling like I'm cursed, because I'm an artist, but not a great artist. Only great artists succeed. Anyone else is just tossed aside. I'd be OK with this if it weren't for the fact that I can't do much else besides artistic endeavors. (Just so you know, I'm taking about more than just visual art-- I'm not a good enough musician either).
Man, this is such a disjointed post.
To summarize, I'm in a vicious cycle and a downward spiral. I just can't win with me.
Why am I even posting this? I'm just opening myself up for attacks.
