I have a lot of time on my hands today, so I want to do a livestream. Who's up for one? I'm pretty flexible, but I'd prefer it be sometime around 4 pm Central. Maybe that way my subscribers across The Pond could catch a little bit of it (unless they're way far east, or just go to bed early, then I apologize).
Guys, I'm so sorry. I can't livestream tonight. Would tomorrow (Saturday) be OK? I'll have a lot of time then, since I offered to dog-sit for my mom. It will be in the afternoon-- sometime around 1 pm Central.
I really hate to do this to you guys. I keep crying "wolf" all the time. A lot of not-so-good stuff has been happening lately in my life, and I haven't felt like drawing. I thought a livestream might help with inspiration, but I haven't felt like doing a livestream either.
I know I have those prizes hanging over my head. I haven't forgotten about them, but I haven't gotten them done in a timely manner. I'm quite mad at myself about that. It's been nearly a year.
If you guys really want to know what this is about, you can PM me. You're not obligated. I just don't want to talk about this publicly.
All of my Challenge prize sketches are done! There's just one problem: I can't scan them.
Let me explain. I injured my back really badly last week. I had a muscle spasm that I still haven't quite recovered from, so I'm afraid to lift heavy things. Like my laptop. And as you know, I use my parents' scanner, but I currently can't transport my laptop to their house.
Winners, I'm sorry that I'm making you wait so long. I will get your prizes done. I'm just having a little setback right now.
On a side note, I feel like I have ideas and half-finished drawings all over the place. I want to enter all the Challenges I'm interested in, finish those prizes, and complete some stuff that I've had in the works for years. That's at least 12 drawings right there. I hope I get 'em all done in time.
I don't usually post stuff like this, but I need to do some blogging therapy. Now.
To the people I owe drawings, I'm sorry they aren't up by now. I started them for real (as opposed to all the false starts and scrapping), but for some reason, I just can't make myself pick up that pencil/stylus now.
I guess it's because I see all these artists that are more skilled and/or more loved than I am here on theO. I've been an Otakuite for nearly five years, and I hardly see any improvement in my art. I'm not an amazing artist, so I have no chance of being recognized. That's made me want to post art even less, which is very counterproductive.
I feel like I'm not doing enough. There have been people that have only been on theO for a short while, and they're running circles around me and rubbing shoulders with legendary members. Even when I try my hardest, few people give me the time of day.
I subscribe and comment when I can, but I feel like, more often than not, it isn't reciprocated. Sometimes I'm outright ignored. I don't know if I'm annoying or pushy or what.
I sound like such a brat right now. I apologize for that. It's just that I'm very depressed because I'm under-employed, running out of medication, shut in my apartment for most of the time, and steadily gaining weight. Realistically speaking, there ain't no way I'm losing 40 pounds in 3.5 months when Anime Central rolls around. Goodbye, cosplay.
Lately, I've been feeling like I'm cursed, because I'm an artist, but not a great artist. Only great artists succeed. Anyone else is just tossed aside. I'd be OK with this if it weren't for the fact that I can't do much else besides artistic endeavors. (Just so you know, I'm taking about more than just visual art-- I'm not a good enough musician either).
Man, this is such a disjointed post.
To summarize, I'm in a vicious cycle and a downward spiral. I just can't win with me.
Why am I even posting this? I'm just opening myself up for attacks.
Please disregard. I picked a winner. Thanks again to all participants!
Wow. I didn't know that I'd get so many participants. And they're all so awesome! Which brings me to my next point.
I can't decide on a winner. 
I've narrowed it down to two, but I said there would only be one winner. I apologize profusely for those of you who have entered. I'm so sorry to keep you hanging for so long, but I promise I will make up my mind.
After I declare a winner, I'll give him/her the promised artwork. I'll also give my comments to each entrant about their manga after I pick the winning entry.
Thanks for entering, and thank you for your patience.
