((Song Inspiration.))
So it seems I have become a little bitter
Who would have thought that would happen to me?
I always used to think it’d be better
But who knew, this is how it turned out to be
Sometimes I wish others could see
But then again, I may not be this way
By what way, you question? I’ve always fought depression
I’ve kept it my secret but how long could it last?
I try so hard to work for everything I “earn”
But it seems eventually, everything gets taken away
This is something I’ve learned; you shouldn’t really yearn
Because one day, it will all be gone
There are some who don’t have to try as vigorously
Though they say that isn’t true, it surely is to me
Of course, life seems to be harder for some of us
And we’re left asking ourselves, is it really just?
To those of you who are concerned
Don’t be, I’ve always been this way
In life, in one way, we somehow get “burned”
And even if it’s bad, this is how I want to stay
So it seems I have become somewhat bitter
But in the end, who can blame me; this is what I’ve compiled
Seeing what life turns out, it might be worthwhile
You never know what will happen, what will make your heart flutter
As for everything I’ve earned, they seem to get lost
But as I remember what life really costs, all the lives I have crossed
Maybe life doesn’t seem so bad- in the end-we get what we deserve
This is simply what I have observed, surely you must concur?
So, I might always be afraid...
Confrontation, it scares me, will that ever fade?
I try to break walls down, instead I put up more blockades
Have you any extra confidence? I'd like to make a trade
I find myself walking in circles all the time
But how high must these walls be that I climb?
To have as much confidence as others would simply be sublime
I don't know, though, if I'll ever get my chance to shine
Despite all things, I can't believe I've come this far
But still I can't seem to find my star
Is it because I'm still afraid?
Well I don't know, maybe I'm blinded by a shade
I'm not sure if this fear will ever disappear
But I'm sure, when it does, something good will occur
For now, my path is blurred, but my goal is clear
Perhaps, in a parallel world, my confidence is not an error
Sometimes I believe, my confidence is misplaced
Though that always contradicts my belief that my talent is just a waste
And all these demons I've faced, yet why do I feel like I've just been erased?
Somehow I think that this non-existent confidence and fear are interlaced
So, I might just be afraid, is what this means
Confrontation, conformity, everything that's mainstream
I'm telling you, it's not my dream, all though it may seem
I don't care to belong, what's with this crazy scheme, after all, I'm me?
"I might not know how to fight this fear,
But someday, I will bring my goal near
I will kick it into gear and not shed another single tear
Then they will cheer, and no longer sneer," is what I wish to hear...
I suppose my own confidence is looking into a mirror
It just doesn't recognize itself, though it's quite near
It doesn't know what it looks like, nor what it's supposed to do
So tell me, how am I not supposed to be afraid?
~Razi-chan
Always sitting on the edge, nearly over the line
Never thought I'd be pushed any further, but now I'm gone
Is it possible to go back...
to the other side, once you've left? (Or if you were ever there?)
I suppose I never truly believed enough in myself
I kept tripping, and falling down into the abyss of doubt
Perhaps it's the only thing I clearly know, me and my lonely heart
Not being sure of where I'm going or of what I'm doing
I feel lost all the time,
though I have the path I want to follow
It keeps vanishing completely,
though it used to only fade
That fleeting belief in myself,
disappears always like a mirage
It sends me over the edge,
steering me into melancholy instead
It always leaves me wondering,
can you ever go back?
To what you were before,
if you were never that to begin with?
I always went around mumbling in thought
"If I didn't know about this, perhaps I'd be more responsible?" ("Forget it!")
But in the end I also believe it was inevitable
My love for this lifestyle, the whimsical and the unconventional
I'm always told, "be more responsible!" ("Forget it!")
But if I do that, isn't there any fun at all?
My head's always in the clouds, daydreaming
After all, I'd rather deal with that than reality ("HA!")
It's not for the money I'm contributing ("Pfft, no.")
It's not for the sake of human morality ("Not that you even know what that is.") Or anything so overrated, or anything that needs restated
To put it simply, I simply don't much care for reality
I can still take care of myself, ("Just you wait and see!")
Still I'll do what I have to do
But I want to do it my pace, my way ("It's just easier that way.")
I wish you could understand, just so I could stand to look at you
A lot of things annoy me but still I can be
Who I want to be and not worry
About what others think or feel ("Who cares?!")
Because it's not their money or their soul I'll steal
I've got no real purpose yet, I'm just going my own way
Don't know where I'm going, so hey what's the hurry?! ("I mean, seriously?")
Well hey my career is undecided, but so are a million others'
So take it easy, quit telling me what to do! ("It's getting annoying...")
To put it simply, I don't much care for reality
Forget responsibility, I can take care of myself and be on my own
I still have morals and I now have faith
So by trusting myself, I can do anything, just you wait and see!
Hey everyone, life's not as bad as it may seem, well when I'm feeling fine
Because you've got your friends, and I've got mine
You don't have to be rich to feed your soul
You just have to make it through life and reach some kind of goal
Many times have I been on the brink of destruction, the bay of sadness
Never thought I'd see some gladness, or a stroke of happiness
Thought I'd always be caught up in my own little world, my own little mess
But now I've seen some new faces and I've been to other places
I've seen what else life could be, which might be a strange thing you see
For someone my age but it's true what they say, life is all a stage
You just have to go by the flow and take it easy, you know what I mean?
Because now, now I'm feeling fine, I'm not gonna hide, I'll do my best to shine
Because throughout life you don't have to be rich to feed your soul
Just make a plan, some kind of scheme and complete your goal
Don't get lost on the shore of despair, I've been there too
It's not a pleasant place, so just remember what you want to do
Follow your dreams, because life as it seems,
Seems like crap and Hell and sometimes we're just forced to say "oh well,"
But hey, don't sweat it, don't always listen to what others say
Swim yourself up to shore, no don't make it a chore
Just keep your head held high, and be victorious of the tide
Don't let the weight of your past be your anchor, or keep you down
Just turn your frown upside down, don't ever let yourself drown
Because life can be Hell, but it's your soul you cannot sell
So keep your friends and keep your dreams
Life's not so bad when you're not alone
Just keep your soul alive and for your dreams you must strive
And if others can't understand, well, hey, at least you're not trapped in your very own Hell!