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Dreams...
Dreams is that wonderful feeling when you know you're doing something right.
It's when the harshness of reality begins to quiet and your heart sings.
It's that look when you see yourself in the mirror and smile, knowing who you really are.
Dreams is the one thing that drives me, soothes me and keeps me alive.
It's the world I live in, the world of dreams... This wonderful, wonderful world.
This fulfilling world...
This world that is in my heart and thankful soul.

My Different Realities

Deviant art
Manga Bullet
Formspring
Live journal
Facebook
Twitter

livestreaming

Sketching out ideas for my new blog graphics!

http://www.livestream.com/monochromerainbow

See you there! :)

In the mind of an artist

This was the original description to "Pancake-Chan" but it turned into not just a deep insight on how I work but a piece of my life as an artist and how I think about my art in relation to the world. As much as I would want to post it as the artist comments, I feel that its more appropriate to post it as a journal. I like to reflect on myself and to improve on how I should feel about my art because at the end of the day, the way you feel counts. Not just that but others might gain insight in my ramblings of how I "truly" feel in the moment. I learned that following your heart in art is one of the toughest things to decide on. Its a road that you don't know what's going to happen. Emotions are key in this journey because they dictate what you may do, so its important to really be truthful to yourself. So that when you feel doubt, worry, or fear; you can stand up to it and punch the f**k out of it. Rather then try to cover it up and subconsciously be controlled by it. Forever hindering your journey and creativity as an artist. I've been on that road and its a bitch in a half.

Pancake-chan is just a concept sketch that sorta went out of control in photoshop. Of course like other artist have battled with, the picture colors look fainted and not true to life. I had to give this god forsaken sketch an overhaul because it looked so gritty and light when it was scanned. I'm really lazy so getting the character out of the grayish paper background was a mess. There are still bits of pieces of the paper hanging on the edges that I try to fix this morning. In fact I tried to start over trying to get PC-Chan to look brighter but not dirtier/washed out by editing the color tools but alas, it failed me. That and sheer laziness with an attitude of "f**k perfection". So I decided to scrap ALL attempts to get this picture to look better and not so gimmicky with Photoshop puke in the background. Granted I do love what I did with it and I am improving on my PS backgrounds. I just tend to worry too much about what others might think and trying to show my best at all times. Which is ridiculous because art isn't suppose to be perfect but fun. Which it was till I decided that gimmicky Photoshop puke with crappy edges equal hated from my fellow peers. And even if people don't like it that doesn't/shouldn't mean anything to me. It doesn't at the end of the day because I'm still doing what I'm doing and it feels good. Wrapping this mind dump up, all I wanted was the sketch to look less light and more bright. Which I achieved and I see improvement in my work so my life is complete. Life is forever good. :)

Pro tip#1: An artist mind is a complex one. Make things simple by telling yourself that no matter what anyone else might think, say, or do, your always a great artist that create for fun.

Pro tip#2: Once you start basing your creativity towards what others outside of yourself may think, you instantly cut off 50% of creative talent. Its true, (at least for me) but I'll talk about it next time.

For now I hope you enjoyed a little peek into my mind as an artist and I would like to hear from you! :)

Do any of you worry about what other will perceive your work? How do you personally handle it? Do you think it helps you become a better artist? Or does it get in the way of your creative juices?

Happy Apil Fools Guys

So god/universe/all-that-is decided to have fun with me and my family on April fools day. So the day of when it rained, the water sipped into the circuit breaker box in the basement and F'ed it up. So much that it was sparking and my dad had to run down there and turn that sucker off. I heard the sparking which were popping noises and thought that the lights were going to bust because they are flickering so much. It was kinda scary.

All and all we have NO ELECTRICITY IN THE HOUSE AT ALL. I've been in Brandon's house for about 24 hours (there now using his lap top to type this) and before then it was the pits to say the least. The heater isn't on either so its cold, dark, and just god damn boring. Not to mention that it won't be fixed till Monday or Tuesday so all the food in the frig is going to spoil. The first day (friday) when the lights went out I was just layed up in bed day dreaming (yaoi scenario's between old characters) all day and staring at my sailor moon scroll for most of the night. Then that next morning Saturday, the day couldn't go any slower. I wanted to go downtown with Brandon so I can donate to the Red Cross and just hang out. WELL needless to say that the event canceled but Brandon came over my house anyway since I wasn't online for a long time. Thank god he did because by that time I was ready to throw in the towel.

Despite all that I'm glad that nothing worst happened and my parents have the money to fix the problem.... :/ But I will admit that I'm sick of the house having major problems with it. I mean my family and I went through without something vital at least once. And it always seems back to back too. Once the problem is fixed another one will pop up sometime later and its f**king frustrating.

Also to rub my face in the whole thing my new Brigadoon DVD came in the first day the electricity had to be shut off. CLASSY UNIVERSE REAL F**KING CLASSY.

Oh and I posted the cosplay pictures on my blog. In fact RIGHT AFTER I posted them was when everything went ape s**t and cut off besides the lights freaking out. So yeah... Besides that I'm fine and so is my family. I'm just venting right now even though I had a fun day.

One more thing. WHY IS THE INTERNET SO F'ING DRY LATELY. I've been sticking my head in the sand about this but god damn it all my favorite spots on the web is DEAD or nothing that I care about it happening. On the bright side of that I've been getting a lot of stuff done (for the candy sanctuary) that I needed to do without much distractions. So it all works out.

Okay that's all I have to say. I didn't mean for this to be a full post (or to sound shallow/ungrateful if I did) but I got carried away. Take care everyone!

Stuff I got from Zenkaicon

And I will be forwarding you to my blog since its 10x easier to post pictures there then it is on here.

Would you guys like to see the cosplayers I took pictures of? (I know stupid question)

Thanks for viewing!

The Zenkaicon Wrap Up

Hey all!

Its been 3 days since Zenkaikon and I feel amazing! The con was amazing too and I met many wonderful people!

The first day (Thursday) me and Brandon went to the con since we were apart of staff. We basically started working that day rather then Friday when the con started because people were coming in a day early to get their badges. When we went down stairs to go to the Gofer Op's station we were greeted by the cutest boy cosplaying as the asian spider man. His name was Danny and he ended up volunteering the whole weekend so we saw him a lot. Basically what I did was direct regular gofers (go•fer (gō'fƏr) n. Slang – one who performs minor or menial tasks such as running errands. [Alteration of "go for">) to places where people needed them. Other departments would call in through walkie talkie and demandask for them and I would report back if I had some or not. If I did I would tell the gofer/volunteer to go the place they needed to go. I also signed off on their hours, give them food vouchers, check on them and etc. It was pretty fun and I didn't have to do much as far as labor. Saturday was INSANE though, we were expecting more volunteers to come in but NONE SHOWED UP so all the departments were scrambling to get things done. They kept asking for gofers where there wasn't any and if there was they would be sent out immediately.

That same morning I came in earlier and got on break later since it was so crazy. It was all really fun though and the area I was in had a lot of actively so I was entertained for the most part. There were a lot of cosplays, my favorites was the Lightning from FF13, Sue from shugo chara, renamon from digimon, and the pokemon gijinka's. The most memorial part of the day was meeting the lovely Sisero, Giname, and Einlee in the dealers room! I actually talked to Sisero on all three days of the con, Saturday was probably the longest since I was on break. She's the sweetest thing in the world as well as her fiancé Marc! I was really surprised to see them since I only know them on DA and didn't even know who was going to be in the dealers room. So I was really excited to met them since I've been fans of theirs for years. Me and Sisero talked a lot on Saturday and it was really fun and encouraging hearing her personal story. I brought also both volumes of her manga "Sacred" and one of Marcs awesome sailor moon bookmarks. Oh and Brandon was smart enough to have the idea to have her autograph both of her mangas that I got. He even did it for me when they were waiting for the Rose Noir concert. She was totally sweet and excited through the whole thing. I hope I get to met hear at another con soon.

After I talked to her I went and bought stuff and pretty much was DEAD TIRED (being around 6 PM). The funniest thing was the hardest part of the day haven't come yet. When I got back on duty things have calmed down a lot so I was able to relax some. However on the last hour of my shift (my shift ended at 11PM) the person at the info desk ( the info desk was right next to the gofer ops where I was stationed) was gone or was done his/her shift so I was doing that as well. I was pretty much handling two stations, giving people directions, giving out the 18+ wrist bands, and other miscellaneous things. Then within 30 minutes 2 cases of missing items turned up and a seller had to get something really important from the dealer's room which was locked. It was INSANE because Kiwi the head of security was on break for hours. Luckily she just came out of it when all three cases came out of the blue. Oh I almost forgot that Brandon helped me in the insaneness since he was done with his shift (at 10PM). I have no clue what I would do without him haha. At the end two of the three cases ended well.

After that fiasco me and Brandon went to the rave! Brandon stayed about an hour while I was there for 3 hours (2A.M when it was suppose to end). I've once again gotten an ass load of glow sticks and threw them on all over my pants and body. When I was at the rave there was another person who had a chain of glow sticks around her body attached to her arms wrists/hands. While another person had the same shirt as me. The rave was so freaking awesome because there was a SUPER AWESOME CUTE BOY there that me and my friends had hung out with before. He had is chest out (again) which was perfect beyond words. He was dancing a lot and I gave him one of my glow sticks, GOD I FELT SO AWESOME. Then through out most of his time there we would be within each other spaces. It was just.... EPIC. One of the best parts was when I started randomly square dancing with people. It was so much fun even though I had no clue what I was doing at first. We just spun around then went on to the next person haha. I love raves so much, I live to rave. The rave was overall just awesome because everyone was really friendly and open. If my room was big enough I would rave every night and learn liquid dancing. XD

Okay I don't want this post to go any longer since its super long. I must of explained only 30-40% of what happened. I didn't even mentioned the crap bathroom we had after we FINALLY got our own room. The hotel screwed up me and Brandon's room so we had to sleep at in a volunteer's room. She and her son was super sweet though, I couldn't ask for better room mates! EVERYONE had a uber big ass bathtub while we had a pitiful walk in shower for OLD PEOPLE. We also had a toilet with railings on both sides, so it was hard to whip yourself. Its as bad as it sounds, really.

Okay thanks for reading and I'll post all the stuff I got next time! Take care!