Writing introductions is a bit tedious so....just take a look at my first post if you want to know more....

....and if you get curious about the name of this World or my posts, check out the second one.

Don't Lose Your Grip

Yesterday was not floating.

Yesterday was all suffocating. Suffocating with the desire to be only one place, and do only one thing, all day & all night. Suffocating with the knowledge that doing it would only make it more painful.

The second book is not so happy.

The sun is out today and I haven't read anymore. I'm thinking finishing by Monday is pretty much impossible. It's been over 24 hours and the insanity hasn't lessened any. When I woke up this morning I discovered I'd ripped skin off of, not one, but six of my fingers at some point during the night. A sure sign that I was fighting to keep something in. The sleep deprivation induced nausea is perpetuating itself as well. I remember being 15 or 16 and feeling this way every single day. It was rather unpleasant.

Another strange memory that popped up was from college. Both my parents, my boyfriend, his mother, and his sister were crazy obsessed with Harry Potter. I was staying away b/c I'd already entered my "anime & manga only" phase, & my brother at 16 or so was waaaayyyy too cool for that kind of thing. One winter, when I was visiting Gainesville, I went to say goodnight to him in his room. It seemed perfectly normal. Tim was always in his room. Always. As I walked in the door he jumped up from his bed & shoved something under his pillow. No, it wasn't porn. I stared at him incredulously,
"Are you reading Harry Potter?!?" I asked
"Shhh!" His eyes were wild. "Don't tell Mom & Dad!" He was pleading.
I shrugged, "I won't, but.......why?"
"Katy, you don't understand," he sat down & pulled the book back out. "I hate it, but I can't stop reading! They're the literary equivalent of nicotine!"

I didn't crack for another year or so, but he was right. And if HP is nicotine, Twilight is more like heroin.

Withdrawal is not pretty.

Memories in the Rain 2, op.2: Longing for Sanctuary

The child of the sun is drowning.

It's cold here, it's cold and it's wet and it's dark. Sounds like Forks, Washington to me. A girl from Phoenix was never intended to live in a place like that. And a girl from Florida was never intended to be in a place like this. Seriously, we can't hold up against it without, without.......something.......

I went back to my dreamland today. Elementary school. It wasn't one of my favorites though, or even one I particularly liked and maybe because of that every so often when a teacher was talking I'd tune out just like at jr high. I'd drift off for just a minute into Bella & Edward land. So I spent the whole day floating. Not that floating is a bad thing really, it's just.......

Anyway, I don't suppose any of this really helps my already vampiric tendencies. Apparently they're more apparent to others than I'd realized too. My adopted twin said just the other day, "If you're going to kill me in my sleep, just turn me into a vampire instead."

Maybe he was joking.....

I'm currently handicapping the odds on finishing 3 books in one weekend. That's obsession. I'm also contemplating printing out a few chapters (on the back of old lesson plans of course, waste not want not!) & taking them to work tomorrow. I hope it keeps raining. That way when I do finish it all & crash into the post-story emptiness face first it won't feel quite so foolish.

Conflictable Composition

My otaku personality is getting the better of me again. When I first got my DS I played Final Fantasy III obsessively. On the bus, on the train, on my friends' doorsteps, till 2 or 3 am on weeknights and 7 or 8 or 11 am on Saturday and Sunday. It's nothing new, I've always been that way when a particular story catches my fancy. Unfortunately, this time, like when it was Harry Potter 6 years ago, it's a story I said I didn't want to get involved with. However, again like the little British wizard boy, it's a book. A series of books to be exact.

Books were my first love as a child. My first home. I wasn't allowed to watch much TV, and we didn't have cable anyway so it was the math show on PBS for half an hour a day and then I had to entertain myself. Being not especially athletic I tended toward indoor activities. I also learned really quickly that what was written in the book wasn't necessarily all that was happening in the lives of the people it was written about. I've always had an overactive imagination.

Even more than imagining their lives, I've always had a habit of relating myself to characters in books. To the point that I subconsciously become like them in certain ways while I'm obsessing over any particular one. Some people might call it escapism....

So it's happening again. I can't help it. I've always liked vampires, and seriously, that girl is just like me. I refuse however, to watch the movie. The actors look NOTHING like the way they're supposed to. Thus there is no picture of Twilight to accompany this post, as I'm opposed to even searching for them & having to sift through all of the movie poster hype.

On a side note, I'm staring at the ad on the side of this posting page and I can't help but think there's something wrong with it. It says:
"THE wallFLOWER" CLICK HERE TO ORDER COMPLETE COLECTION PART 1
Misplaced capitalization aside, how can something be called the COMPLETE collection if it comes in PARTS? Oh, and if anyone tells that I'm reading such a stupid, teenage, girly book, I will kill them in their sleep!!!!

And the Rain Let Off

It rained today. But only a little bit. Not enough to keep me from walking home at least. I walked the same way twice this evening. I sometimes see funny things walking home but don't always take much notice of them. Today I decided to keep track because of the first one that appeared just outside the station. An old woman in a wheelchair. She looked miserable. Someone unmemorable was pushing the chair for her. Of course, that's not very funny, or if it is it's rather cruel of me to say so. But on her lap was a dog. A poodle I think. And this dog had to be at least as old (in dog years) and twice as miserable as the woman. Hmm.......maybe that's still a bit too cruel to be funny.......

Soon after that I passed a nice restaurant that I've always wanted to go into even though I have no idea what kind of food they serve. One of the cooks was outside throwing a baseball with what appeared to be his girlfriend. There he was in his white chef coat, and there she was in her short dress and high heels, and both of them had baseball gloves and were playing catch like it was the most typical thing in the world. That one was pretty cute.

Maybe even cuter was the man that lives in my neighborhood (I've seen him lots of times & always have to bite my lip to keep from laughing) walking his 6 shihtzus at the same time. Maybe they're not all his, but still. Have you ever seen someone walk 6 dogs at once? No matter how tiny they are it looks ridiculous.

Almost to my apartment I saw what I swear was a chamber pot on the sidewalk. Why it was there just collecting rain I can't even begin to guess. It was still there on my way home the second time too. Not much else of interest on that walk, just at the beginning of it. Right outside the station, in front of the 7-11 I saw a man on a bicycle ride by and snatch an umbrella from the stand outside the door without even stopping! And I thought, "How the hell did he do that?!?" Not to mention, "Why the hell did he do that?!?" It was hardly even raining. No need to steal an umbrella dude.

I'm pretty much in love with my new boots. I can even run in them. Not that I'd want to of course, but just in case I need to catch a train....
Definitely wearing these to PUNKSPRING in April.

323.

There's a teacher at my school who I've wanted to make friends with since the very first day last April. Her name is 毎. She's about the same age as me I'd guess, but I could be way off. I'm not the best at guessing games. I'm also not the best at making friends with people who impress me. I never seem to know quite what to say.

Through some strange twist of fate after I'd left the school, I went back for a week last May and spent the entire time with her homeroom. We didn't talk much. She was busy doing teacher stuff & I was running around killing time with the kids since there were no classes. The kids, being kids, got attached really quickly and when I left again a couple of them kept in touch.

I spent the following 7 months in a dreamlike whirlwind of little kids and faceless teachers. I nearly forgot she existed. On my first day back last week I gave chocolate to all the teachers. A goodwill present. A "Please put up with me for three more months present". A "Sorry I never visited you" present. A few of those who were sitting at their desks when I took it around said thanks, & of course the English teachers all mentioned it that afternoon, but that was it. Nothing special. Not like I was expecting it.

Three days later 毎, who I'd since remembered has the same indoor shoes as me, came over to my desk when nobody else was around & thanked me & said she loved dark chocolate. I gave her a few more.

I taught her class yesterday and on the way out we passed in the hall. I could have gone on, but, feeling brave, I stopped to tell her that they were always a lot of fun and maybe it was because we became close during that week in May. She smiled & thanked me and went on about her business.

I thought that was it.

Today she stopped me in the hall just as I was getting my coat to go home. She said one of her students wrote about my class in her journal this morning. She said the class was fun, but she was afraid she wouldn't remember the English we covered. But, low and behold, she got home, tried it & remembered!

I think we might be friends now.