Writing introductions is a bit tedious so....just take a look at my first post if you want to know more....

....and if you get curious about the name of this World or my posts, check out the second one.

Regeneration

"Hating interactions with people isn't the same as hating people."

Being liked by people is unpleasant. Or rather, it's uncomfortable for me. This week was nothing but stress because of that kind of thing.

My heat rash came back this week. It's not hot outside at all. I'm starting to worry about that a little bit.....mostly I'm just frustrated by the fact that I'm distracted from drawing by the itchiness. I'm also a bit annoyed by other people always asking me why my arms are bandaged up. I don't like them worrying, and I don't like explaining.

Tsubasa ended this week. It was kind of ambiguous. I can't say I didn't like it b/c I'm too loyal to CLAMP to do that, but.........knowing what I know now about the way serialized manga works I wonder if it was really the ending/timing they wanted. They're famous enough that they should be able to control that kind of thing by now, but........

Anyway, I got a new drawing pen. It's pretty fucking awesome. No more switching between 19 different varieties of increasingly thinner felt-tipped pens. It's the real thing. It's like when you upgrade your weapons in Final Fantasy. The difference is obvious the minute it's in your hand. Of course I've still got to work with it for a while, but I'm already figuring out how to do things I've always wanted to with it. I can't say it's easy or anything, but, well, it's just like how that cool new sword makes you feel like a better fighter when you really haven't changed at all. The confidence it gives you makes you want to keep training and training and training......

....think I'm gonna need to buy some more ink soon......

Conflictable Composition

My otaku personality is getting the better of me again. When I first got my DS I played Final Fantasy III obsessively. On the bus, on the train, on my friends' doorsteps, till 2 or 3 am on weeknights and 7 or 8 or 11 am on Saturday and Sunday. It's nothing new, I've always been that way when a particular story catches my fancy. Unfortunately, this time, like when it was Harry Potter 6 years ago, it's a story I said I didn't want to get involved with. However, again like the little British wizard boy, it's a book. A series of books to be exact.

Books were my first love as a child. My first home. I wasn't allowed to watch much TV, and we didn't have cable anyway so it was the math show on PBS for half an hour a day and then I had to entertain myself. Being not especially athletic I tended toward indoor activities. I also learned really quickly that what was written in the book wasn't necessarily all that was happening in the lives of the people it was written about. I've always had an overactive imagination.

Even more than imagining their lives, I've always had a habit of relating myself to characters in books. To the point that I subconsciously become like them in certain ways while I'm obsessing over any particular one. Some people might call it escapism....

So it's happening again. I can't help it. I've always liked vampires, and seriously, that girl is just like me. I refuse however, to watch the movie. The actors look NOTHING like the way they're supposed to. Thus there is no picture of Twilight to accompany this post, as I'm opposed to even searching for them & having to sift through all of the movie poster hype.

On a side note, I'm staring at the ad on the side of this posting page and I can't help but think there's something wrong with it. It says:
"THE wallFLOWER" CLICK HERE TO ORDER COMPLETE COLECTION PART 1
Misplaced capitalization aside, how can something be called the COMPLETE collection if it comes in PARTS? Oh, and if anyone tells that I'm reading such a stupid, teenage, girly book, I will kill them in their sleep!!!!

Dregs of Hypnosis

I have a problem with being obsessive. My otaku personality demands it. I finished playing Final Fantasy III nearly a month ago and I still can't stop thinking about it. As far as I can tell no other RPG out there is as good. This is probably due to the fact that it's ridiculously old and no other RPG is made like it anymore. Still, I'd like to go back and play it again, but somehow it seems hollow. If you already know what's going to happen, what's the point? Then again, why read books more than once? There's something comforting in the familiarity of every phrase, every chapter title, every emotional moment. Maybe I'll take it home with me and play on the airplane, no guide this time....

For the time being I'm content to contemplate the likelihood of drawing pictures of my friends in FFIII garb. I just can't seem to pin down who any of them should be. I like to categorize, organize, and summarize. I like to fit things into neat order so I can understand them and characters are something I understand very well. Real people on the other hand.....not so much....

Upon reflection, my 6 friends maybe weren't so appropriately matched after all. It seems as though the three of us in the middle, the links if you will, chose to pull the others together for our own sake. We wanted the security of belonging to something in this crowded island country where we'll never belong. No matter how hard we try to be happy with that, enjoy the perks of being different, us sentimental types really need a family of sorts to be comfortable. So we pulled them together, tried to sew and bind them to each other in order to keep them by our sides. To give us an excuse to be together we gave it a name and made holiday plans. I even became Nana and tried to machinate a romance to keep someone in my own little garden. They didn't want it, not one of them. I suppose to their credit they care enough about at least one of us to have given it a try.