Writing introductions is a bit tedious so....just take a look at my first post if you want to know more....
....and if you get curious about the name of this World or my posts, check out the second one.
- Created By Sailor Nevar
Tell your Children the Truth
My dad's getting married. I don't particularly want him to, but I know I don't really have a say in the matter, nor does it affect me in any way. My brother doesn't know. It's kind of killing me to not be able to call him right now.
My mom was always honest w/me as a kid. Or rather, she was straightforward. She told me quite a few lies I'm sure, but most of the time she told me things the way she thought they really were. She acted towards me, & told me, kids are no different from adults. It's not a common practice. Most people would probably say it's a bad idea in fact. I'm definitely warped in some ways because of it. For one thing, I think it's the right way to go about things now too. I can't do them any differently.
I've been posting a lot recently. I guess it has to do with thinking a lot. When I don't spend all day focusing on my little kids things creep into my head a bit too easily. I really hate being looked down on by people. I always have, not just since coming here. I guess it's kinda funny since I automatically tend to look down on everyone myself, but.....yeah, it's not cool. Often times, I get the feeling people are talking to me like they would a very slow child, because they assume I won't understand the words they're using. And if I don't answer immediately - b/c I usually don't know what to say, & wouldn't whether they spoke English, Japanese, or Swahili for the simple reason that I never know how to respond to people - they automatically assume they're right & I just don't know the literal meaning of the words. When really, what I don't know is the meaning of the conversation, why they're telling me that crap in the first place, and what the hell they expect to hear.
...if it looks like I'm laughing I am really just asking to leave...
Regeneration
"Hating interactions with people isn't the same as hating people."
Being liked by people is unpleasant. Or rather, it's uncomfortable for me. This week was nothing but stress because of that kind of thing.
My heat rash came back this week. It's not hot outside at all. I'm starting to worry about that a little bit.....mostly I'm just frustrated by the fact that I'm distracted from drawing by the itchiness. I'm also a bit annoyed by other people always asking me why my arms are bandaged up. I don't like them worrying, and I don't like explaining.
Tsubasa ended this week. It was kind of ambiguous. I can't say I didn't like it b/c I'm too loyal to CLAMP to do that, but.........knowing what I know now about the way serialized manga works I wonder if it was really the ending/timing they wanted. They're famous enough that they should be able to control that kind of thing by now, but........
Anyway, I got a new drawing pen. It's pretty fucking awesome. No more switching between 19 different varieties of increasingly thinner felt-tipped pens. It's the real thing. It's like when you upgrade your weapons in Final Fantasy. The difference is obvious the minute it's in your hand. Of course I've still got to work with it for a while, but I'm already figuring out how to do things I've always wanted to with it. I can't say it's easy or anything, but, well, it's just like how that cool new sword makes you feel like a better fighter when you really haven't changed at all. The confidence it gives you makes you want to keep training and training and training......
....think I'm gonna need to buy some more ink soon......
End
