Elric: Whoa...what am I doing here?
Alazne: <both> IT'S THE BATTLE OF THE EDWARDS!
Elric: There's another me?
Alazne: <author> No, Edward Cullen. He's a vampire.
Alazne: <character> And you're an alchemist. This is going to be awesome!
Elric: I don't know much about the vampire...Does he know about the Philosopher's Stone?
Alazne: <author> Actually...he's in possession of it. If you fight him enough, you'll gain possession of it! So, beat the crud outta him, and you get the Philosopher's Stone!
Elric: I'm in. <to Cullen> YOU! You're going down!
Cullen: You honestly think that you can beat a vampire?
Elric: And you think that you can beat a state alchemist?
<enter: Edward Scissorhands>
Scissorhands:...
Cyrus: This is another Edward, from a movie of the same name, he is silent, his hands consist of many, many blades, and he is immune to magic/vampires/alchemy (which is magic)/math tests.
<Scissorhands metal appendages start spinning at high speed. He walks slowly towards Cullen. A huge black CENSORED box appears.>
<the box fades>
Scissorhands:...
<Cullen is a bloody mess.>
Cyrus: Right, Scissorhands is mad, so I suggest everybody RUN!!! Except you, Mr. Short Alchemist Guy, you stay and detain him for a bit.
Elric: I AM NOT SHORT!
Alazne: <character> <grabs Elric's shirt collar> I think that that comeback can wait! For now, LET'S GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE!
