Kimi
The whole world was passing me by in a blur, like a dream where you have no control. Even during classes I had a hard time taking part as a character because I was so fixated on my memories. There was one moment in time that possessed me: Anluan’s kiss. He had never been romantically interested in me and never gave me any hints whatsoever that he even had been thinking of me as a lover, not as a sister like he had before. Every theory I had just confused me and left me with more questions that I began. Why did he kiss me? Does he love me? How long has he loved me? Is this for real, or just a game like with Cezoram? What does he want from me? Why does he like me? How long does he think he can like me? Will he want to kiss me again? Is he going to ask me out? Am I really ready to be his girlfriend? How do I feel about him? Do I love him back? What if we become a couple and it doesn’t work out? What if we do become a couple and it actually works out-
“Kimi, if you’re not feeling well, you can head back. We can handle this.” Trisha said, lightly tapping me on the shoulder.
“I’m fine.” In reality, I felt like a ghost of my former self. It never phased me to lie about my physical condition, but I usually made it more believable than just a whisper.
“You’re clearly not.” Fred fell back to where we were. I had completely forgotten that we were supposed to be doing group work during Care of Magical Creatures. The four of us (Trisha, Me, Fred and George) had gotten put together and we sent to find something or other in the forest. “You seem kind of pale.”
I repeated my lie and continued walking. I was planning on telling Trisha what happened later, but if the rest of my group kept pressuring me, I might just lose it.
“At least pay attention where you’re walking. You know how you are when it comes to forests.” Trisha laughed a bit, trying to make a light joke to cheer me up. All it did was cause me to fall back into my foggy state. Now instead of Anluan, Cezoram blocked my concentration. I hated him at the moment, but I knew that there was one point where I could honestly say that I loved him. He might be a jackass and some might call a bit sadistic, but I knew that he cared about me and wasn’t like he wants everyone else to believe. He wasn’t an entirely bad person; he was misguided. He was like me. There are times I want people to believe that I am strong and that nothing bothers me, but it’s just a mask to hide the fear and weakness that only a select amount of people could see. Anluan, being one of those people. Ever since we met, he could see through every lie I told and knew when I was hiding something. That was why we were so close. But now… he wants us to be closer. Or so I thought. I have no idea what’s what anymore.
When my vision cleared and I could think mildly straight again, I was all alone. Trisha, Fred and George were gone. Crap. I must’ve wandered off. Don’t worry, just backtrack the best you can. I turned around and began walking toward where I assumed was the rest of my group. I debated using a spell to find them, but none of the ones I knew worked well enough and I would probably just make myself even more lost. So that was out of the plan. Even though I knew that when you’re lost in an unfamiliar area, the best thing is to sit still in hopes that someone would find you, but my stubbornness and my low-self-confidence I tried so hard to hide told me that it would take too long for someone to come and rescue me and my best bet for getting out of this was to not rely on anyone and get out of this on my own, even if I failed miserably.
