My ex-girlfriend said some weird ones. It's been a while, so I don't remember exactly what she said, because I was usually half-asleep at the time too. But the strange part is, there seemed to be a recurring character in whatever she was dreaming about. And she always called this man "...the Captain..."
The only time I've been caught talking in my sleep, I said this:
Me: ...I'm sorry.
Ex: Sorry for what?
Me: I've never seen the ending of Cool Runnings...
Ex: Oh.
Me: Did they win?
Ex: Yes.
Me: ...That's good.
She said I then smiled and rolled over, seeming very content.
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When I was about 11, my little brother (8 at the time) sleepwalked into my bedroom in the middle of the night. He started banging on my dresser with his hand and saying "MOM SAID TO PUT IT RIGHT HERE! MOM SAID TO PUT IT RIIIIGHT HEEERE!!".
He then turned around and walked slightly out of the room. The next thing out of his mouth was:
"F***ING MIDGETS!"
Then he got in the shower fully pajama'ed, turned it on, showered briefly, got out, and went back to bed. All without waking.
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My boyfriend has a terrible problem with screaming random s*** in his sleep and waking me up. One of my favorites was around the time of his birthday when he yelled out "THANK Y'ALL SO MUCH! A COUCH IS SUCH A GREAT GIFT!" No one got him a couch for his birthday though...
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In basic training, one guy was heard almost screaming, "WE MUST TURN THIS BED INTO A FORT"
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One of my friends always talks in his sleep. One time he said "I'm deploying my G.I.'s Joe." He likes Command and Conquer.
The same guy sat up once and said "Ha ha ha ha, car," and promptly laid down again.
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My mom was on her way up to make sure I got up in time for school. She's ascending the stairs, and I poke my head up and shout,
"I'd like some TOAST AND A BMW!!"
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My dad once said
"Mary! Build the bridge! The Nazis are coming!"
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Oh man, I just remembered something great I did one time.
My alarm went off, and I didn't wake up entirely and I got up and UNPLUGGED THE POWER STRIP FROM THE WALL. How I didn't manage to electrocute myself is a miracle. Then I crawled back in bed and my dad, who had come to my door when the alarm wasn't being turned off yet, asked me if I was okay.
Me: The prongs..
Dad: ...What?
Me: The prongs, you have to..do it to the prongs...
Dad: What??
Me: ...*starting to wake up* Never mind what I just said. Forget all that.
Dad: *laughing uncontrollably* So I shouldn't mind the prongs?
I was, of course, referring to the prongs on the strip's cord, but I have no idea what I wanted him to do with them.
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