Chapter 20: What Have I Done?
~*Katara*~
Hei and I walked back to Doc’s office, even though I knew he didn’t want to be there. Yes I was concerned about his meds, but I also wanted to confront Doc myself. I didn’t understand why he would allow an assistant to get into all of his crazy chemicals and stuff. Seeing him so sad and extra closed it hurt me a lot. I wanted to make the pain go away. I opened the door and walked in first. “Welcome back.” Doc said sitting at his desk. Hei came in and went straight to the cabinet and pulled out a small bottle. I watched him swallow one and then I marched myself over to Doc and put my hands on my hips. “Tell your assistant to never serve anything to anyone ever again.” I said seriously.
“You didn’t like it?” Doc said with a sad face.
“It’s not that…” I whispered. “I just…”
“Oh Hei, I’m not upset with you! You have every right in the world to be mad at me. But everyone is safe now and there was no harm done. I’ll be more careful next time.” Doc said with a smile.
“Thanks…” Hei muttered and headed out the door. I chased after him and grabbed his hand.
“Wait please?” I asked. He paused. “I need to tell you how I knew where to find you.” He nodded slightly and walked me to his room. I was getting more and more nervous but I knew I had to at least tell him that he sorta told me about it. Hiro wasn’t there and I was really relieved by that at least. Hei let my hand go and sat in his chair, still not really looking at me. “That Dan guy gave me some tea, and when I passed out, I thought I woke up, and things were…different.” I started. “What the stuff actually was, I still don’t know. But it made me dream or, go into some other version of this world.”
“Different, how?” Hei spoke up, looking at me with genuine concern. I felt myself blush, unable to control it.
“Um…I-I’ll get to that in a minute. But in the dream you showed me the clearing and told me it was the place you went to get away from people and think. So in a way, you were the one who showed it to me actually.” I awkwardly laughed a little. “In it, when I asked Doc about it, he told me to just go with it, and that it wouldn’t last. It actually kind of made me sad.” I was having a hard time bringing it up.
“Look, if you d-don’t want to tell me, that’s fine.” Hei said, looking away from me.
“I want to, it’s just, difficult for me ok? I-I have a tough time saying things too, s-sometimes…” I stuttered. I heard a slight chuckle from him. I smiled brightly and we locked eyes. “That sounded nice.” I said. Hei looked down a little.
“Sorry. I, I wish it could happen more.” He said softly.
“I’m really happy we are talking like this more. It means a lot to me.” I sat down in Hiro’s chair.
“B-but, you’re so, friendly…you have lots of people to t-talk to.” He said.
“You’re different.” I squeezed my hands together. What if this was a bad idea? What if I scared him away for good?
“I’m strange…” He practically whispered. “W-Why do you stick around?” He asked.
“Because I care about you! A-A lot!” I spoke up. “You’re different in the best way, I want to help you through hard times and see you smile and hear you laugh and…” I stopped and looked at him to see how he was taking it. My whole body was shaking and my heart was in my throat.
“I-I don’t u-understand…” Hei sputtered out. He looked really confused and that almost made me panic more.
“The stuff I took made me dream we had been dating, long term. We spent the day together and walked in the woods and you showed me the spot. We held hands and, and kissed and, and just spent the day together! And we sorta tried some other things, b-b-but I got scared…I guess, I l-like you a lot a lot… And, I know, I know you’re older than me and I probably just ruined everything but I’ve liked you for a while and I’m sure you don’t like me but please, if we can’t be a thing, just know you c-can’t stop me from caring about you at least. Please don’t j-judge me…” I looked down at my lap and felt hot tears filling my eyes. What had I just done?
