“There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.”
Friedrich Nietzsche

Alright

i know i haven't written about the two weeks that gabe was here yet, and i've been meaning to for a while. i couldn't do it immediately after, it just hurt too much to talk about that soon after he left. so here goes.
it was without a doubt the best two weeks of my life and exceeded my expectations in every way. we were both worried about disappointing the other in some way, since we'd never met in person before. we laugh just remembering that worry now. XD
when we first met at the airport we hugged for 20 minutes before doing or saying anything else. i know it was 20 minutes because i wasn't keeping count at all, but mom says when she was in starbucks waiting for us she looked up 20 minutes later and we were still hugging.
anyway after that it was almost like we'd been together like that forever. we got comfortable with each other really fast and it didn't take us long to start acting like retards in stores together and all that good stuff. we had especial fun when we got lost on the way to chincoteague island on some neverending back road i didn't even know existed. it was epic.
we went to the beach a few times, the movies, the mall... i think i enjoyed it most though when it was just the two of us watching movies together at home. although i loved all of it. including when we made up a whole method of communication using the word "chips."
i really miss having him around now that he's back in quebec, but i've got a train ticket that says i'm going up there in november, bitches. >:D
so yeah.
i just wrote this to let those of my friends on here who haven't heard about it yet know how it went, since they've been hearing how excited i've been about it for a long time. also to laugh in the faces of anybody who says or thinks that internet relationships can't work. so there. :D

Nostalgia, You Sneaky Bitch.

ahh, it's 12:15 A.M. and i feel nostalgic. for how the otaku used to be. a bit for how life used to be. i don't much like getting older sometimes. not that i'm decrepit and crumbly YET. i'm a teenager for christ's sake. i should be reveling in driving myself places and... being teenagerly. the reveling doesn't really last long for me though.
me, i have a terrible memory for events and stuff that i'm required to remember. but i can remember the randomest, most specific trivia or details. i could recite the entire script of the movie The Last Unicorn, and i don't exactly watch it everyday (well, not anymore.) i spew obscure quotes from movies, books, and people and nobody ever knows what i'm talking about. well almost nobody. and i don't so much remember events as i remember feelings. and it's AMAZING, i mean REALLY amazing, how smells can jog your memory. i found this scented candle in a blue wineglass my friend and i used to always use in these dark fantasy games we used to play (we thought we were so cool and myterious). i took one whiff of the thing and BAM! i was right back there something like seven years ago. it was incredible, i tell you. and me, i'm always finding things. i never throw anything away unless it's biodegradable or wrapperishly crinkly. everything else gets saved. everything. inadvertently or on purpose. i still have halloween candy from five years ago buried somewhere in my room. i advise anybody who ever might excavate it to NOT touch it. knox ate some once by accident. don't try THAT at home.
also the other day i was cleaning out this alcove i used to keep all my Mystic Knight action figures and all my dragons and blocks and all that fantastic shit. mom forced me to go and get rid of some of that stuff because she wants to be able to get into the alcove (i mean, can you believe the nerve?)
the funny thing is, whenever she makes me do something like that, and nobody's looking, i play. and i can remember where i left off years ago the last time i did it. and it so fun. except not as fun as it used to be, because when you get older you forget how to play. that makes me sad. i think the closest adults and teenagers can get to playing is acting, and i'm kind of stage shy. though i did used to enjoy acting when i was younger and more brazen. hell, when i was really little i ballet-danced on tables at the nursing home my grandmother was in. hey, the old people were a captive audience and that's all i needed.
..i have no idea why i'm writing this or why it's getting so alarmingly long all by itself but it IS, after all, 12:20 in the morning now and i can't be held responsible for my actions. GOD, i'm tired.
i don't think anybody is going to read this but i just needed something to do with my hands. they were twitchy. they were saying to me, "naia, you 'tard, you stopped playing Dynasty Warriors too soon and we didn't get the 1000 K.O.'s we wanted and then you watched that awful movie and we had nothing to do. so let us demonstrate our awesome powers of 75 WMP with no errors. it doesn't matter what you say. they won't hold it against you."
THEY LIE!
just to get their own damn way.
you know what the problem is? i didn't have any caffeine today. now as it is 12:25, i've been awake for 14 hours. that is too much fo rme. oh, god, my eyes are stinging.
oh right, i did do one thing anime-related. i bought the 6th death note manga and finished it in about five minutes. i whirl right through those, they're awesome. i really don't keep up on any of the mangas i read anymore, though. i just never seem to have any money and when i do i get shifty-eyed and do not distribute it to Barnes & Noble employees. i'm actually more likely to get guilted into giving money to Defenders of Wildlife (they've got their hooks into me now and they won't stop sending me letters and email) and then i'm low again. but they're not getting anything from me for a while, i just gave them $50 and i'm not working for the next few weeks.
OH MY GOD I'M TIRED!
does anybody know how to make your fingers stop typing? because mine are not being cooperative.
...does anybody else here think that i sound like Junie B. Jones right now? because i'm noticing i disturbing resemblance.
fuck. i'm going to bed. i don't care what they say. they can unravel the blanket while i sleep and curse me for not letting them get enough K.O.'s. i got 663, shouldn't that be enough?
WHEN WILL THE KILLING END?

..........

yeah.
goodnight.

Raindrops on roses and really fluffy peacocks

Just thought it might brighten somebody's day to see how fluffy peacock butts are. And if I'm the only person in the world who finds this funny, well, I guess I get all the laughs to myself.

It wasn't my fault I kept getting butt-shots either-- that damned Commodore just wouldn't face me head-on. I've gotten front-shots of him before and it didn't seem to bother him but this particular day he seemed intent on choosing his own pose. Therefore, when I tried to sidle around in front of him, he decided to walk majestically away and go terrorize one of the other males. Hence this stunning... thing here. I had a funny close-up too, but thanks to Adam's benevolence we apparently only embed one picture and NO HTML BITCHES.
but hey, if you want to see the closeup, here's the address: http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y27/chibichick/admiralbutt.jpg?t=1211897361

and here's the address for the larger version of the above: http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y27/chibichick/admiralbutt1.jpg?t=1211897435

So then you were like Whoa! And I was like Whoa!! And you were like Whoa.....

i still hate worlds. trying to get sort of used to them though. i wouldn't mind so much if people actually read them, but y'know...
so here i am, sitting in computer class, pondering the mysteries of the universe, such as whether i really did well on that math quiz last period or if i'm just fooling myself into oblivion again. i need some coffee. OH MY GOD, i want raw cookie dough right now. i HATE having no access to a refrigerator.
in my opinion, this is the only worthwhile smiley in our spanking new cache of pixellated overcuteness ----->
i need to watch some new anime. i haven't in such a long time. i actually HAVE anime that i haven't watched, but for some reason i haven't watched it yet. i've had mushi-shi 3 since my BIRTHDAY, goddamnit, and i haven't even seen it yet! this is like a disease for me. it's mushi-shi. come ON. also i've had deathnote two. but since i don't have the first one, i have a reason for not watching that one yet.
...i have too many papers to work on......
i don't know anything about the korean war and my damned army helmet is from vietnam. so there goes my chance to take up a few minutes of my presentation putting an incredibly heavy thing on my head and falling over. also, i have an english paper on Peter S. Beagle, author of The Last Unicorn, best writer ever. i found him on myspace and begged him to be my friend. no answer yet. my heart will break into miniscule fragments if he won't be my friend.
i kinda wish school was closer to being over, but if it was, exams would be here. and... i'm not ready for exams. not in the slightest.
i'm so bad. i don't study for anything except math and sometimes history, and then only the night before. including exams.
somehow though i still get A's. this is a huge mystery to me. i just wish it applied to math as well as my other subjects. math is an everyday struggle for my life.
i'm taking in-the-car driving classes with a neurotic teacher and a girl in my class who doesn't like me.

i'm shutting up now, because i think i've spewed out everything my mind can wrap itself around right now.
------->the parting glance