THIS IS WHERE I TALK ABOUT THINGS THAT ARE AVERAGE IN MY LIFE. OR RANDOM THINGS IN MY LIFE THAT I THINK SHOULD BE HERE. ENJOY YOUR STAY.

So I Lied.

Okay, so in the last post, I said everything was overall okay. Well, I lied. Today, that boy, Kuro, confessed to me that he had feelings for me before. But the other boy who likes me, well. I'm giving him a chance, and Kuro says he's okay with it. But, today, my "friend" Nessie found out that Kavin (the other boy) likes me. After school, when I had missed my bus and went to tell her how stupid I felt for missing it, she just stared at me angrily. So I got serious and asked if something was wrong. She said no at first, but I pryed. I asked her if she was angry with me. So she said, "Yeah, I am." and I asked her why. then she said, while looking very pissed off, "Do I have to remind you of who I liked last year!?" and I replied, "Yeah, probably, cause I don't remember. It's too far back for me." and I was serious. But then she saw her bus and said bye to everyone else but me. And walked off. I can't believe this! She's getting mad at me over a BOY! HONESTLY! When did this woman become so immature to the point of petty jealousy? I didn't have a say in who he liked anyway, so I don't know WHY she's mad at ME! And besides, that was LAST YEAR. So WHAT!? So he likes me, big deal! Does she seriously have to be pissed off at me for it?! I THINK NOT! People tell me that sometimes I'm immature, but in a good way. Because it makes people laugh. She's being immature in the BAD way. She's being childishly selfish, and becoming spiteful towards me all because Kavin likes me. That's a pretty stupid reason to be mad, if you ask me. I don't know what to do anymore! All my friends are turning against me for stupid reasons! And now, I do believe that I may have actually hurt Kuro a little by saying okay to Kavin! For the love of everything good and Holy, why is everything going wrong right now? This is the worst possible time for something bad to happen, but it's happening. The thought of running away has come to my mind, but where will I run? I've nowhere TO run. And running away never solved anything, right? You have to face your fears and your problems, right? And that's what I'm doing! But look at where it's getting me! NOWHERE! Nowhere but stuck in between ridiculousness! I can't stand high school drama anymore, and if I have to deal with even one more thing, I'm going to either die or go insane. TOTALLY INSANE. Not just a little insane to where I can get help. I mean beyond help insane. And I REALLY don't want that to happen. But anyway...just...Tsumi needs to relieve her stress. So...bai bai nao...
~Tsumi

WHYYY!?

Okee dokee, peoples...so you see, Tsumi is in school, and she has a strange school schedule. Her school has A days and B days. Well, the problem is, she doesn't have a 4th hour class to go to for her A days, and she doesn't feel like or want to talk to the people in the counseling office to get it fixed just yet, but she kind of has to. She doesn't really have a choice. But she doesn't know what to do when she gets there, and then, when she tells them, what are they going to tell her to do!? are they gonna give her a slip of paper and tell her to get it signed by the teacher of the class she selected? or are they just going to enroll her in the class and tell her where to go? This is why she hates school sometimes. She wishes she could drop out sometimes, but she so very badly wants to stay and get into college...it sucks. But anyway...other than that...Tsumi wants to know why she has to deal with boy confusion at THIS MOMENT!?!? Three guys are hitting on me. One had the courage to ask me out. The other doesn't want to get into a relationship because he thinks he will hurt me, but he's the one I like and want. And the third is her ex-boyfriend. What should I do? Why would this happen at such a bad time!?!? anyone got any ideas for Tsumi...?

Regrets...

Tsumi did something bad on Sunday. She is regretting it at the same time that she treasures it. That guy she likes who texts her nice stuff and also dirty stuff sometimes...Tsumi and him cybered. For those of you who are young and don't know what that means, nevermind it, and forget you ever read this. It was a very...intense and detailed text cyber. I'm sort of giddy that he chose to text me that way and not someone else, but I'm also regretting doing that because now I feel like I'm nothing but a toy. Some kind of whore toy for men. And not only that, but I'm afraid to face him now. I can't stand being this way! He's so...tempting. All the time. And somehow, I'm able to tempt him easily. I don't want to tell him how this is making me feel because I am afraid he might not like me anymore or he'll say I ruined the moment or something. I don't like hearing those things...that is why I wrote that song. Also because I want to be with him. I want to shove my face onto his chest and cry, and I want him to hold me close and never let me go. But it won't ever happen. And so when I think of him, my heart hurts, and I want to cry away all the pain. These are the exact words I said to my friend when we were typing to one another about what hurts us right now. But anyway...please don't think of me spitefully. If you want to call me a whore or a slut, go ahead and do it. It won't effect me in any way, because, I know it is true.
~Tsumi~

Recent Song Idea

Okay ppls, I had an idea recently for a song that is currently being written by me. Tell me what you think.

"I Want To Cry All The Pain Away" *verse 1*The love that you once showed meHas slowly faded away.Because she came along, she won,and stole it all away.It hurts, the way you treat me now,saying how it'll all be okay.I want to talk to you, it's true,but you won't let me find the words to say.*chorus*I was hurting from the beginning,it feels like there's nothing to say.If I lock myself in the darkness,then I can cry the pain away.I never thought it would happen,me yearning for you each day.I want to make myself numb on the inside,I want to cry all the pain away.*verse 2*A physical relationship,a love that is a lie.I hate you for the things we do.How dare you ask me "why?"The pain that comes from being with you,the hurt that grows inside...I wish I could be left alone...I wish that I could die...!*chorus* *bridge*Tell me, where the Hell did we go wrong?I thought you loved me, but that love's not strong.She only touched you once that dreadful day,I can't believe it's all slipping away...

I still need to write the third verse and second chorus, but...anyway...

HURTING AGAIN

*sigh* okay, so like always, Tsumi is in deep pain. She is falling for a guy who texts her a lot when she texts him first, but he keeps strutting around with this one girl who, I don't hate, but am jealous of. I can't stand to see it, to be quite honest. It hurts. Tsumi is only just now coming to terms with the fact that life is reality, and reality is life. She doesn't like that fact very much right now. It makes her go through pain. She is losing everything she loves, including pets and people. A girl recently commited suicide over break. I didn't talk to her, but I knew who she was, and the loss weighs heavily on my heart. The very next day, after this girl's viewing, one of my pets died. And I continuously forget that he will not be in his little cage when I look for him. I look into the cage, thinking he will be there, making the same annoying squeaking sound he always used to make, and then when I do look for him, he isn't there. He never will be there again. Everything is dying as of late. I don't understand why it happens anymore. And now I want to die, too. It seems so pleasant in so many ways right now...to be at peace. But don't worry. I made a promise to someone, and I intend to keep that promise to him. But until next time, farewell.
~Tsumi