SETTING: The “average kitchen” scene, occupied by a singular, frightening-looking, happy man holding a canister.

MAN: HI! I’M BILLY MEIS AND I TALK LIKE I HAVE CAPSLOCK ON! BUY MY PRODUCT BECAUSE I AM YELLING LOUDLY! BUY! BUY! BUY! DO NOT SELL UNLESS YOU BUY FROM ME FIRST! BUY OXI-SCRUB OR I WILL SEND NINJAS CLOTHED IN FLUORESCENT ORANGE AFTER YOU! BUY MY PRODUCT! IT’S OXI-SCRUB—CLEANING WITH THE POWER OF AN OX! OOOOOOOOOOOX! WHY AM I STILL YELLING!!!?

The screen cuts to black.