Hi! My name is K.D., although most online know me as misachan83. I'm 32, and am an author and anime lover. Welcome to the shadows of my creative and sometimes odd mind

Just curious

Okay, so this is probably a strange thing to ask, but does anyone else have times when they do fan art or other stuff like it when they feel like it's just not good enough? I've been going through that a lot lately, even though I know that it should be and that it's the best I can do. Maybe I just don't have enough confidence in myself, but I can't help but wonder if others feel that way and it's just a normal thing too.

How I feel at times when I'm working on something

Maybe it is silly to think that way, but I do. Anyway, just thought I'd put it out there and ask. Honestly, I could use some advice to get myself past that and all. It's not good because it makes me hesitate on doing stuff, and being creative is good for my mind when I'm feeling off.

Thanks for taking the time and reading. It really means a lot :)

Oh time...

So this has been on my mind for a while now, and I've finally just decided to put it out there because it's been bugging me. I've been in a few challenges here, and I've been considering doing one of my own, but I'm kind of worried about the time I'd have to make the prizes. That, and I'm not sure of what prizes I'd do. Honestly, I've never done anything like that, so I kind of feel unsure about the whole thing, although I'd love to see what would come out of the two ideas I have, considering how creative I've seen others being with other challenges. I really am considering doing it though. I'm just still debating things in my head with it.

Anyway, thanks for listening to my whining (for lack of a better term). Love ya all for all your understanding

A day of life...

Okay, so this is literally what one of my days shapes up to be nine times out of ten. Actually, it’s kind of funny when one looks at it on the whole, and honestly, I look at it and find it the perfect illustration of trying to work on creativity and taking care of a household. The days do vary at times, depending on what day and what’s going on, but this is usually it in a nutshell:

1. Get up early and get older kid (8) on bus to school. (Be up even earlier to help husband with getting ready for crabbing)

2.Feed and dress 3 year old, then let play.

3.Clean up house and then notice that three year old has thrown toys everywhere once you’re finished….

4.Once everything is straight, try to take time during 3 year old’s favorite show to work on art or writing

5.Be stopped within two minutes because said child needs something… and every two minutes afterwards…. (you’re kidding, right?)

6.Switch places with husband for an hour to help bait his lines (ha, now he has to enjoy the every two minute bugging)

7.Pick up older child, fix dinner and be mediator between two children (they think play and fight are the same things half the time ^^;)

8.Give bathes, put both to bed and finally have time to myself to work on things…

9.Be bugged at least three times by one or both kids not wanting to sleep yet… (again, you’re kidding, right?)

10.Finally have time to myself to be lost in my little world, a new anime, drawing, and whatever else. Such is life, and I wouldn’t have it any other way :)

Yep, so that’s my days in a nutshell a lot, although some days I have more time to do creative things or be online than others. In fact, sometimes I wonder how I end up doing as much as I do. Aw well, such is life, and at least I can do it.

OMG, I Still Have One Picture...

So I was going through my old picture folders on my computer, and I actually found a picture of one of my cosplays. Seriously, I thought that they had all been lost in my computer crash a few years ago, so this was so exciting to at least have one. I did this cosplay of Lacus way back in 2006-2007 at Otakon. Still have the costume, but sadly had to recently sell the Haro (Yes, I'm still in tears over that). But I'm happy that I at least have one picture now. I loved cosplaying. Hopefully I can do it again one day.

Like Standing Beside Myself

Image by Kurama-chan from Deviantart

Okay, so I'm kind of writing an honest post that's a bit personal, but I just wanted to talk about it a little and let it out. Hopefully I don't offend or scare anyone. Seriously, I'm not trying to worry anybody. I just wanted to get some stuff off my chest.

So recently I have been battling some severe depression again, and it's been making a lot of things more difficult for me. Although I've been trying to keep up doing creative things, it's been rough for me to either start or finish them. I kind of had to force myself to finish my last fanart of Mika, although I'm glad that I did because I do really like it myself. I've also been making myself brainstorm on some wallpapers, although that's been an even harder process recently. I did come up with the one from Tokyo Babylon today, but it took me longer then usual to make because I had no real clue as to what I was doing.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I really just feel down and feel like I'm not able to come up with things because I'm not good at them. Of course I know in my heart that this isn't true, that I do have a talent for them like all of us here, but I guess you could say that the mind is cruel a lot of times. When I get down like this, I kind of let myself start thinking that I'm just not good for anything. It's kind of weird though when I get like this. I do recognize it somewhat. Almost like standing right beside myself and looking at me sitting there with my head on my knees and wondering why.

Of course, right now, I'm just really trying to get myself out of this slump again too. It's just been a bit more difficult. I am trying though, and I feel like maybe talking about it here will help because it seems like I really can't talk to any of my family about it without them jumping to conclusions or telling me to snap out of it.

Well, that's about it for now. Thanks for reading if you did. I really appreciate all my friends here and the support you all give me, and I hope I can be here to support you all too if you need it.