Mask

I may smile at you,
laugh and joke,
say this, do that;
I can play this game too.

I see you respond real fast
wondering why you do it,
pondering bit by bit,
All the while, I'm wearing a mask.

Yea, I seem like I don't care,
acting indifferent,
because I realized
the Truth - you don't share.

Lies

Quit weaving all your lies
I can see the answer,
plain in your eyes.

You try, yet fail, to show a smile,
that's true to your heart,
all the while.

What I don't get, is why?
You do this, say that,
All I'm seein' is lie lie lie.
Well I have a word for you...
Good bye =D

Afraid of Happines...

Afraid to smile,
Afraid to be happy,
Because every time I am,
Everything falls apart.

I was happy before,
When I was with you,
But that happiness was too much,
It tore apart my heart.

Now happiness is no more,
Its only a shadow,
A lonely memory,
Never to depart...

To Have Loved & Lost...

I loved him
and still do
but he loved her
and to her, he flew.

He was my first,
first love, first kiss
how did this happen?
Why did it end up like this?

And although it hurts
he chose her over me
I am happy for him
A smile on his face, I love to see.

He still loves me
and still cares
we are now friends
and everything, we share.

I still miss those moments,
the closeness
but we are still friends
and we still have that bondness.

And so I think to myself
at least I have loved
and try to ignore this pain
because I got one thing solved....

It was better to have loved and lost, then to never have loved at all.

Confused Heart and Mind....

When my body is saying one thing

But my mind and heart are confused

What does that mean?

.. ..

Am I hurt inside?

Am I broken apart?

Do I wish I can crawl into a corner and hide?

.. ..

Or is it the opposite?

Am I smiling a true smile?

Am I happy with it?

.. ..

And will I ever figure this out?

What is bothering me, what is on my mind?

Will I ever know what this is about?

.. ..

My mind and heart are a mess,

So much confusion and chaos,

I wish my pain can be less…

.. ..

A cure, I would like to find,

A remedy, sure would help

To help clear this heart and mind…

.. ..

Don't know if it's because of recent events,

If it's because of my inability to cry,

I don't know if I should pretend...

.. ..

Should I be sad?

Or should I be happy?

What should I do if no matter what, it's bad?

.. ..

What do I do if I can't see,

Can't read or hear

What my mind and heart want to be?

.. ..

Should I just allow it to continue?

To twist, turn, and spiral?

What should I do?

.. ..

This continues to revolve

Around inside my head...

Never known to be solved.....