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Chocolate and Bento

Sun Apr 26, 2009, 3:36 AM

* Mood: Obsessed

All day today, I've had a craving for chocolate(well, technically it's yesterday, but I haven't gone to bed yet...I've been napping all day for some odd reason). I watched the 4th episode of Hayate no Gotoku and it was about Valentine's Day. Then I remembered my failed V-day cake I made for my boyfriend at the time...So then I was compelled to look up Valentine's Chocolate in the culinary section on dA and along with chocolate, there were a bunch of V-day bento lunches. So, I started daydreaming like the lovesick KF I am and now I'm prolly gonna be in a bento-slash-chocolate-making crash course for about a week. And guess who gets to eat all these delicious(?) things-you guessed it! CALVIN, COME ONE DOWN!!! I'M GONNA MAKE YOU NICE AND FAT =D

At least he likes to eat sweet things, and a lot of food...My ex didn't eat as much as Cal, and definitely not as much as me(I still remember my three helpings opposed to his measly 1...seemed like half to me). Since he didn't eat a lot and didn't have much of a sweet tooth, I never really got to make him bento lunches or sweets-he likes anime and the whole 9 yards, so he'd still appreciate it. But I like it when people ask for more of something I made them and I enjoy seeing them smile. I would practically give anything just to see my friends happy. I guess that's why I started doing comics.

At first, I wanted to make a manga because I wanted a manga to exist that was based off of MY life and MY ideas(I'm a pretty selfish person if you haven't noticed). So I started to work on my character around 5th grade. In 7th grade was when I decided to make KaidaFaye's friends a significant part of the story, which is also why I'm not incorporating as much love as there was in the beginning. My friends are the best, and our adventures deserve to be remembered somehow. From the music that is Cal's, to the cuteness that is Monique, the awesomeness that is Steph, and the memories of the 2 guys that helped me define my personality to what it is now. My ex and I are still good friends. Maybe if I'm up to it and over him enough, I'll make him some chocolate and a bento to his liking.

Yeah, I'm one to dwell on good relationships(a good 2 out of 13 but who cares, 2 REAL relationships then). Me dwelling is prolly why Calvin's gonna get so fat that he can't even get through his bathroom door and end up going in his pants. ;D

-KF

Epiphany

Sun Apr 19, 2009, 2:15 PM

* Mood: Isolated
* Listening to: "Mother We Just Can't Get Enough"-New Radicals
* Drinking: Chocolate Ensure

I've been thinking about it for a while, now. The root reason why I've been so off is the lack of caffeine. Anyone that knows me personally knows that I'm...addicted? Yeah, I'll go ahead and say addicted since it goes with what I found out. Here are my sympotoms:

-Irritable
-Headache
-Inability to Concentrate
-Drowsiness
-Insomnia
-Palpitations
-Biting at my lips til they bleed
-Depression

If you've read my past journals(and for those that have known what I'm like a school lately), you've noticed I've been more of a bitch than usual-leading my dad to believe that I have Intermittent Explosive Disorder(IED), which of course is still a slight possibility but I highly doubt it since it's not as frequent as it should be over the past 6 months. I've also had headaches, which is unusual for me. The inability to focus is really nothing new, but Mo and John notice that I've been zoning out a lot more recently and during class I can't pay attention anymore(I can make myself focus, I'm just lazy and it only works at school). Drowsiness and insomnia may sound contradictory, but if you think about it, it works. Drowsiness is just the feeling of being tired and insomnia is the inability to sleep-you can feel tired and not be able to sleep. As for the palpitations...that's the one thing that made me conclude I'm going through some kind of extreme caffeine withdrawal. Biting at my lips, or psuchomotor agitation to sound fancy, is something that's increased with me. Go to here and read up on the overuse of caffeine, here, and here.

And it's obviously true I've been feeling depressed lately, especially with all these things going on in my life. It's all just bad timing. All these combined also explain why I've been abnormally sick lately(except the nosebleeds, those are from the weather). I've also been craving chocolate, which is normal when I haven't had caffeine for a while and I need something to make me somewhat stable. I've been off caffeine for a while and only had a sip or two every couple of days. So, I need to have a separate savings for caffeine stuff-at least til summer. I don't want to deal with this during my AP an IB stuff. I'm gonna go shower now.

-KF

PS-I think analyzing my problems in such a way is a habit I got from my older brother