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It's all so...so EMO DX ~Edit~

I was playing around with the World settings and accidentally changed my tangerine background image...I miss it, I don't have the file anymore either, I edited that thing in middle school. So, my poor choice in colour scheme resulted in this. My conceited "My face is everywere!" page.

Gonna change the colour scheme soon. Hopefully =(

But here, check out the before and after pictures: link

~EDIT~
Made the background paler, it looks a lot better now.

Sad Songs on the Radio

Sun Sep 20, 2009, 8:58 PM

* Mood: Confused
* Listening to: "What Went Wrong?"-blink-182

I'm supposed to be over it. Why am I so crushed? I let him take over my life back then, and now I'm paying for it. His ex is now his girlfriend for the 50millionth time and now even though he's my best friend I can't even talk to him because she hates my guts.

Why did I even tell him those things? Why did I let him take everything? Why am I so upset about such a stupid person? Why even get annoyed by it? He's just a best friend. That I loved. From middle school And things happened over the past 4 years. He's not worth it. He was so much trouble. I can have a pick of basically whoever I want, I shouldn't be upset because he said things that usually don't happen. I shouldn't have believed him in the first place.

Why won't this all disappear? I keep letting feelings get in the way of things. It's nothing to kill myself over. I know the logic. The smart thing to do would be to drop everything related to him. But I know I won't. And I know he's gonna pop up at the least expected time again at my school or something and give me those eyes; then when my guard is down, those feelings I managed to put away will come leaking out for the millionth time, and things will start up again. Because I can't let go of things. I can't let go. I gotta chop my hands off.

Sorry for the emo-ness; I'm venting.

-KF

I Gots Mah Hairz Did

Sun May 3, 2009, 9:45 PM

* Mood: Emotional
* Listening to: "Jumper"-Third Eye Blind
* Reading: AP US Government & Politics Exam Review Book
* Eating: Lumpia and Rice, but it's just sitting there...

Filled up my weekend so I wouldn't think about things I should forget about anyway. Yet, I found myself thinking about him anyway at times, then I shake my head and feel good that I decided to move on instead of linger.

Friday: got my hair cut and then bleached at V:'s house. Slept over, along with my brother and his gf
Saturday: had many yummy things; finished colouring my hair; my brother's gf got sick and left early; V and I made Japanese things for a picnic; threw ice into the pond; we all went out for ice cream; spent 2hrs watching a pointless Korean movie(at which point my "son" contacted me and said my ex called him-I told him I was having fun and hung up); V's bf dropped my brother, V, and I off at our house around midnight; V went home around 3ish
Sunday/Today: Mo came over to help me "study". She left about an hour ago.

AP exams tomorrow. A bunch of people's lives suck right now. There's a like/love triangle going on between my friends; my parents are complaining about money; my grades are dying; my brother's girlfriend is depressing him; misery and etc...

I'm gonne be emo s'more, so you can stop reading now...

I want to punch, kick, scream...break things. I broke my phone a bit-there's a rubber band holding it together(I'm ghetto, bitch!). Of course, I can't really do that. So I draw, but y'see-that doesn't really work either; I draw things I want to see, had seen, and will never see again. I asked Cal what I should do with them(rip them up, give them to the guy so he can do what he pleases with them since he's in them, or keep them and look at them later when I'm over it). He told me to keep them and look at them when I'm over it. I agree, it's the most mature thing, anyway.

I've lost my appetite, too. It's not that I can't eat-more like I don't want to eat. I'm still eating a bit though. And my natural energy(any other energy is from caffeine). I haven't been exercising recently either. I should do that again soon.

I know I'm just letting this stuff happen-letting things get me down. But everyone's weak at some point. I'm probably weaker now, even though I'm stronger-if that makes sense.

My dam broke, and water will weak havoc on the townspeaple below. Poor things...they saw leaks appear and didn't know what to do about it or how to patch it up. Where's the damn repair guy??

Someone tell me happy and exciting news, I need a break =3

-KF

Damn Pencil...DRAW SOMETHING ELSE

Mon Apr 27, 2009, 2:00 AM

* Mood: Yearning
* Listening to: "Everytime"-the Flames

Finished my bento, by the way-2 ube onigiri(?), cut up chicken, carrot sticks with vegetable sauce, and skewered cherries and green apple.

Ever pick up your pencil with no idea what you're gonna draw, and then thing you least want to draw comes up on your paper, even if you're not thinking about it? Like, by the time you're done with the thing you're thinking "Why the hell did I draw this? I didn't want to see this!!" At that point, you maybe be one of those people that rips it up...I'm not; probably cuz I want to see that picture in real life.

I draw best when one mood has just about completely taken over me, whether it be anger, happiness, love, depressed...the picture doesn't always portray how I feel, though-maybe because I just concentrate on making the doodle(almost everything I do is a doodle or started out as one) turn out okay.

All the pictures I've been drawing recently are nostalgic and are things I definitely want to happen...again. I never took a photo of us having such a grand time because we were having too much fun, absorbed into our own li'l world. I see the kids in these drawings now(they're on my drawing binder, which happens to be right next to me) and they just seem like 2 random characters that you may find in G33|<!! (well actually, my character and his WILL show up randomly as background characters for the fun of it all, even though we did end). They give off the same aura as the main characters-familiar, but you can't remember from where but they give off a friendly and welcoming aura.

I just kind of hope this phase ends soon-drawing romance isn't really my thing. When there's a scanner available, though, I'll scan them in. They turned out good enough and I'm proud of every doodle I do, no matter what memories/stories they hold...like looking at a photograph you forgot you took a long time ago.

...excuse the teenage-emo-ness, please; just venting(which I seem to be doing a lot, I'm sorry D=)

-KF

Chocolate and Bento

Sun Apr 26, 2009, 3:36 AM

* Mood: Obsessed

All day today, I've had a craving for chocolate(well, technically it's yesterday, but I haven't gone to bed yet...I've been napping all day for some odd reason). I watched the 4th episode of Hayate no Gotoku and it was about Valentine's Day. Then I remembered my failed V-day cake I made for my boyfriend at the time...So then I was compelled to look up Valentine's Chocolate in the culinary section on dA and along with chocolate, there were a bunch of V-day bento lunches. So, I started daydreaming like the lovesick KF I am and now I'm prolly gonna be in a bento-slash-chocolate-making crash course for about a week. And guess who gets to eat all these delicious(?) things-you guessed it! CALVIN, COME ONE DOWN!!! I'M GONNA MAKE YOU NICE AND FAT =D

At least he likes to eat sweet things, and a lot of food...My ex didn't eat as much as Cal, and definitely not as much as me(I still remember my three helpings opposed to his measly 1...seemed like half to me). Since he didn't eat a lot and didn't have much of a sweet tooth, I never really got to make him bento lunches or sweets-he likes anime and the whole 9 yards, so he'd still appreciate it. But I like it when people ask for more of something I made them and I enjoy seeing them smile. I would practically give anything just to see my friends happy. I guess that's why I started doing comics.

At first, I wanted to make a manga because I wanted a manga to exist that was based off of MY life and MY ideas(I'm a pretty selfish person if you haven't noticed). So I started to work on my character around 5th grade. In 7th grade was when I decided to make KaidaFaye's friends a significant part of the story, which is also why I'm not incorporating as much love as there was in the beginning. My friends are the best, and our adventures deserve to be remembered somehow. From the music that is Cal's, to the cuteness that is Monique, the awesomeness that is Steph, and the memories of the 2 guys that helped me define my personality to what it is now. My ex and I are still good friends. Maybe if I'm up to it and over him enough, I'll make him some chocolate and a bento to his liking.

Yeah, I'm one to dwell on good relationships(a good 2 out of 13 but who cares, 2 REAL relationships then). Me dwelling is prolly why Calvin's gonna get so fat that he can't even get through his bathroom door and end up going in his pants. ;D

-KF