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Sad Songs on the Radio

Sun Sep 20, 2009, 8:58 PM

* Mood: Confused
* Listening to: "What Went Wrong?"-blink-182

I'm supposed to be over it. Why am I so crushed? I let him take over my life back then, and now I'm paying for it. His ex is now his girlfriend for the 50millionth time and now even though he's my best friend I can't even talk to him because she hates my guts.

Why did I even tell him those things? Why did I let him take everything? Why am I so upset about such a stupid person? Why even get annoyed by it? He's just a best friend. That I loved. From middle school And things happened over the past 4 years. He's not worth it. He was so much trouble. I can have a pick of basically whoever I want, I shouldn't be upset because he said things that usually don't happen. I shouldn't have believed him in the first place.

Why won't this all disappear? I keep letting feelings get in the way of things. It's nothing to kill myself over. I know the logic. The smart thing to do would be to drop everything related to him. But I know I won't. And I know he's gonna pop up at the least expected time again at my school or something and give me those eyes; then when my guard is down, those feelings I managed to put away will come leaking out for the millionth time, and things will start up again. Because I can't let go of things. I can't let go. I gotta chop my hands off.

Sorry for the emo-ness; I'm venting.

-KF

You should know the feeling...

When you finish your homework and set it before you on a nice clean desk;
When you finish that computer program you've been working on for 36 hours straight;
When you finish a page for a new manga you came up with the night before...
Yup, you know that feeling when something similar to these scenarios above happen to ya. I was in bed reading a manga I had since elementary school and i look up and look at my closed laptop-what do I see? A new detailed sketch for an insert for my main comic and dream: G33K!! It was then that I had a plan...

...but you're not gonna know it yet! (heart)

-a blissful KaidaFaye