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Dream Waker, The Graphic Novel
So as a practice run, I'm making a comic for Chibi-Pa (a local con in November) called Dream Waker. I'm still fleshing out the actual story line, since I'm still not sure if it should be a one-shot or a short series (more likely a short series). I...Why I Comick So Damn Much
Sat Aug 22, 2009, 3:46 PM
* Mood: Tearful
* Listening to: "Soaring"-Sydney Forest
* Reading: over the comic
* Drinking: Tang
Monique, you can't even come over during the week to work on the comic. My mom wants me to focus on school and doesn't give a damn that we already payed for the table and etc. Let's see if we can do it at school, ok? Like in the library, or the band room when there isn't any practice. I'll see if you can come over tomorrow after church, but again--I have no fucking clue.
I hate living at my house. I have overprotective parents that don't give a damn about my hobby or what I think. My dad never liked me drawing manga and calls anime "La La Land". My mom just looked at my work and called it cute, nothing else. I never was allowed to hang out with my friends, especially if they were also into anime and manga and video games. I also wasn't as outgoing as I am now, so I spent most of my time reading fiction to get away from it. Even in elementary school, I stayed after school with the library assistant to read and help out. All that reading is probably why English continues to be my best subject. But I really liked art. I tried out every form I encountered. The only time I regretted trying out a style was the only time my dad thought it was absolutely spectacular--I find squeezing paint out of those pen-like tubes fun, even back then. I was doing that and had paint all over one of my folders and left it on the table. I was gonna throw it away later, but I wanted it to dry so my mom didn't get mad at me if I got paint somewhere. Well, I went back and found it gone, so I figured somebody threw it out for me. Then at the kitchen table, my dad said I made something great and I thought he was talking about a drawing I did earlier that day. Then he took out the folder and I got really mad, saying I didn't mean to make it. Then that night I ripped it up and threw it away. That probably seems really stupid and childish, but...I was around 8 or 9--what do you expect?
I started dabbling in manga, I got really into it--loved it obviously, since I'm still doing it. So I experimented a lot over the years and finally got my "style" down. I'm still experimenting with other styles, but so far this is pretty stable. When I think manga, I think fantasy, and video games. Something that isn't my life. My life at home is boring and lonely and depressing--not like "I wanna kill myself" but more of "When I'm 18, I'm so out of here". I hate going home. At home, I have to act like someone completely different. I can't joke around like I do at school or with my friends. My teachers probably have a better understanding of what I'm like than my parents do. I can't openly express my love for anime and manga because I get criticized if I play any foreign music, draw, or watch anime. I have to shut myself up in my room to do it, and then they get mad if I do that. My parents want me to be this big scholar person that makes a gazillion dollars when I just kind of want to live a peaceful life in an apartment somewhere working on G33|<!! or in a cottage in the woods painting my life away and living off what I have. If it wasn't for the fact that I need money, I wouldn't even give a damn about college.
In short, I comick because I need to get away without really getting away. I want to do something right. I'm not that good at school, or sports, or anything else for that matter. I'm not musical, I'm not an actor/actress, I'm not as sweet as honey, and I'm not studious. I'm a girl that tatoos bleached leaves with graphite dreams and acid thoughts because the rabbit hole to my wonderland is barred shut until further notice.
-KF
I've been having some strange dreams lately...
Thu Jul 23, 2009, 11:42 PM
* Mood: Lonely
* Listening to: "Never Let You Go"-Third Eye Blind
When I was at Minto's house not too long ago, I had a very...weird dream:
I was attending some kind of potluck thing at a log cabin(more like mansion) with all these people I apparently knew. Then a nice old black guy with a sweatervest said that we should go to the movies sometime at Cityplace and I said it sounded like fun. At this point I woke up cuz Minto kicked me in the face. I fell back asleep and I was at "Cityplace"(quotation marks are used because it definitely didn't look like the Cityplace I know and love) with my "twin" that looked nothing like me. We were talkingto a police officer and he said people under 18 couldn't go to the movie theatre because there's a club going on--here, I looked over to the movie theatre and there's a roped off square of people dancing to some music and you can see kids dressed like they came from Hogwarts(the movie just came out the day I had the dream) behind them; the club was blocking the entrance. I explained to him that we weren't there to see the movie but to go to the barber shop located in front of all the action. He gave us permission to go.
We got to the "barbershop"(it was more like a display window for a really fancy dress store with a door and a swirly blue/red/white sign in front) and there was a sign hanging on the door that said it was closed and the lights were off. So, my twin and I sat and waited outside the door while I felt bad about not going to the movies with that black guy. Then this man with a really weird accent dragging a rolling suitcase yells at us to open the door, which we did. He ran in and sat himself in the back corner of the place and told us to close it behind us, which we did. "Are the orthodontists here yet?"--he looked scared shitless. We said no and my twin got in the barber chair and the two started to chat. He asked me if the orthodontists were here; I looked at the door and said no. He asked if I was sure and looked again--there were two tall men wearing black suits(one with sunglasses and a hat and the other had a tall flat heat(like Frankenstein's monster). They opened the door and the barber just started screaming like crazy. The "orthodontist" with the hat went out of my field of vision over to the barber and the other one bent over me(I was sitting on the floor), turned into a furry, turned back, and as I screamed no he "raped me"(I knew he was raping me, but as soon as I screamed no and his face was too close, it turned black). When the scene faded back in we were all back at the cabin with a lake in the background and we were all eating bbq that the furry/orthodontist/rapist made and some people were missing parts of their head. End of that dream (o_o)"
The most recent one I had was this:
I was accepted into this high-class boarding school. I got there with a whole group of girls plus 1 boy who had a loveable and timid little brother personality. We entered and you could look up and see a taaaaaaaaaaaall ceiling and at every floor there was railing. We went into a room and the headmistress said we were all to sleep in our assigned mattress only(the whole floor was covered in mattresses). I found mine and discovered that there was one free mattress in between me and another girl's. I asked her what would happen if I rolled over in my sleep and found myself on the next mattress; she said that as soon as I woke up to return to my original mattress before she finds out. We were all magically in out nightgowns and we slept.
The scene switched to what I guess was free time and I was wandering around the hallway and looking down at the empty floor below. Then I see my cat pass by on that floor; I somehow managed to reach the floor(poof XD) and I picked her up--I couldn't see her but I saw me eating with a fork and a knife and the food looked like chicken with fur. Then I see that my cat was put in a bento box with her head and tail hanging out and her legs were missing. I started crying and then I woke up. Naturally, I went to check my cat was still there.
..........As you can see, I have very strange dreams. These aren't at the top of the list, just the most recent.
-KF
You should know the feeling...
...but you're not gonna know it yet! (heart)
When you finish your homework and set it before you on a nice clean desk;
When you finish that computer program you've been working on for 36 hours straight;
When you finish a page for a new manga you came up with the night before...
Yup, you know that feeling when something similar to these scenarios above happen to ya. I was in bed reading a manga I had since elementary school and i look up and look at my closed laptop-what do I see? A new detailed sketch for an insert for my main comic and dream: G33K!! It was then that I had a plan...
-a blissful KaidaFaye
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