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Stuck At Home

Sat Apr 18, 2009, 5:04 PM

* Mood: Unhappy
* Listening to: Kimagura Romantic
* Drinking: Tang

I was supposed to go to the Nexus(a super-cool arcade at the mall) today with a bunch of my friends(guys cuz there aren't enough girls that play video games), but I never got to because (cliche teenager problem) my dad sucks. I told him and at the beginning of the week my plans for today, and he just told me Thursday I could go. Yesterday I was all happy cuz I haven't hung out with friends for a while and I've been down and lonely lately. Today, I got up and started finishing up the chores from yesterday to find someone fixing the computers-which wasn't part of the plan for today(my dad's overprotective and HAS to supervise me when I go out, especially with guys). I told him that Mikey was coming around 2:30 to go to the Nexus with us. He said it'd take about 4hrs to finish. I was a little annoyed cuz that meant they'd be done around 3:30. But I lived and called Mikey and told him I'd call again when he could come over. So, 2 rolls around and I hear my dad say to the guy that if my plan has room, he'd bring the guy to a buffet around 6. Now, I live about 15minutes from the place, and Mikey lives about the same distance from my house. So, 3:30 plus half an hour equals 4:00 by the time we get there. Then we'd have to leave a bit earlier so Mikey's mom could pick him up from our house, so subtract 15 minutes from the 2hrs we'd have to hang out(I only see Mikey on Tuesdays, btw for Jesus School). So, 1hr 45min isn't really enough to hang out on a Saturday; it's barely even a class period. So, I told him I was switching my plans to next weekend, which won't even work since we're picking my mom up from the airport next weekend. Then he got offended by this for some reason and I got really pissed and went off on him about how no matter how early I make my plans like he tells me to(I told him this plan last weekend and made sure he didn't forget over the week) nothing ever goes to my promised plan around him. He's always changing plans to what he wants even though he promises me I could do what I want. This situation's always repeated; always finding a way for me to stay at home. Last year, my friend Missy and I made plans to meet at the mall and my dad said it was okay. Well, when that day came he was out so I told Missy I'd be a bit late(she called asking where I was since I was already there). So, I wait another hour and call dad-he said he'd be home soon. Waited 2hrs and Missy calls to say she's leaving(She's been there 3 or 4hrs alone just walking around). After we hang up, my dad comes home another hour later and asks if I'm ready to go. I said she already left and he said "Oh, that's not very nice" then he goes onto the computer...I can't wait til I'm 18.

Sorry for the complaining, but I really needed to get stuff off my chest.

Mm...I Feel Pretty Useless Right Now

Sat Apr 11, 2009, 6:34 PM
* Mood: Hopeless
* Listening to: "Password 486"-Younha
* Eating: I forgot what I ate, but I know I ate =D

We had school off yesterday cuz Jesus died(Good Friday). All day yesterday I sat in front of the computer and watched anime. Then today was a bit more eventful with moving in the mix-I helped my dad fix the sprinklers(an excuse to use the swimsuit I never used, regardless of me living about 5min from the beach) and loading laundry...then I sat back in front of the laptop and watched anime again. It's gotten to the point where I'm even too lazy to read manga.

I was watching/listening to Ikimono Gakari again today and I was thought "I should pick up the harmonica again" since one of the guitarists(Hotaka Yamashita) perks up the awesomeness of the band with his harmonica(does anyone know what kind he uses?). I used to play diatonic harmonica, but I lost interest once I entered middle school(manga swept up my life high speed by then); then I got lost in comicking. Plus, my dad was so obnoxious about his playing-he can't play at all, yet he has 3 very nice(and expensive) chromatic harmonicas...I did try to learn the guitar, but now it's just sitting in my room, waiting for Cal to come play =( I feel bad for my instruments, we have a keyboard, too, that my bro and I share...but the power cable's...somwhere...

What I'm getting at is, I should learn something entertaining other than drawing-I wanna pick up the harmonica again. I wanna do something other than draw depressing/non-attractive pictures and comics to get me out of my slump from...well, emotional girly things that are usually seen in shoujo manga. I'll go hunt for my harmonica today =D then I'll practice...hopefully.
-KF

PS-I'm starting to eat regularly again. I still can't eat anywhere close to what my normal appetite was, but I'm not throwing up my food, and I'm eating a decent amount before feeling sick. =D *thumbs up*

I'm Typing with a Sock Puppet, Bitch!!

Thu Apr 9, 2009, 11:04 PM

* Mood: Lonely
* Listening to: "Kimagure Romantic"-Ikimono Gikari...rep
* Eating: I threw up half my lunch today =(

Yup, it's true. I'm typing with my sock puppet Yes-I dug him up, so now he's typing for me with twitching lips =D

ANYWAY, I still can't eat as much...and I realized how lonely I am now. I got so used to doing things every weekend cuz I had a boyfriend. Now that he's out, it's like..."what now?" No definite plans on weekends and no phone calls to be expected. Aileen and I were talking about this today after school; her boyfriend's in a different country and I don't have one, so we were talking about how weekends aren't as fun since we never really go out with friends, even though we'd love to.

Now it's emptier, quieter, and lonelier: to the point where I start talking to Yes again. But sock puppets, especially ones with mismatching(1 big green and 1 puny red) buttons, make everything funnier and better. But once you stop the conversation, you realize how pathetic you sounded =(

Do you get moments when you're overflowing with inspiration, but you're not able to write them down? That happened to me today several times-then when I could finally get them down, I couldn't bring myself to draw them out...I need a new sketchbook.

Ok, that's about it-my dad is yelling at me to get off the computer and Yes is prolly gonna be mad at him for making him type even this much. G'night, chaps