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God, I'm Stupid

Sun Aug 9, 2009, 2:41 PM

* Mood: Moving on
* Listening to: Japanese Conversation
* Eating: Corned Beef and Rice
* Drinking: Tang and Water

I was watching anime(what else?) and I had my headphones on, but I never plugged the headphones in. So, halfway through the episode I realized why the sound was kind of muffled and I went to scratch my ear and the headphones were in the way (x_x). I think the lack of physical contact is getting to me.

Doing a quick job today in about 2.5hours--moving furniture again for my divorced cousin for $20--it's not much, but it's something.

Fought with my parents a li'l while ago about moving. My mom went on about how my neighbour/friend moved in with her boyfriend after she graduated. I told her I didn't see the problem with it and started accusing me of moving in with a boyfriend after I graduate. I told her if I have one and it's convenient for school or work, then I would and she started going off on me and saying how I shouldn't expect any money from them for school or rent if I do that--for cripes sake, I haven't done anything yet and i'm getting in trouble. Blew off some steam at Josh's, will blow off more moving furniture 2-3x my size.

-KF

Dammit DX

Fri Jul 24, 2009, 10:02 PM

* Mood: Guilty
* Listening to: "Saint Jimmy"-Green Day

I just realized today I only have 8 pages left in my "drawing pad" =( There's lots of stuff in here I didn't scan in or upload, which means when I actually get a day where I scan in my previous sketchbook, I'll have to scan in this one too...well, not bad--this one only has 50 sheets. I'll have to figure out what to use for a sketchbook now, since my fairy got the one I'm currently using. Meanwhile, I'll erase some stupid things so I have more usable pages.

Filipino moms are so bipolar--Mo, this is why I couldn't go with you to see Grease today =(--It's amazing how I give my mom all the information beforehand and halfway there she starts complaining about what she calmly agreed to earlier (x_x). I'm not allowed to ask her to go anywhere for a while either, especially the Playhouse.

I wish I could go out with friends and boyfriends and not have my parents become overprotective and anal about every little detail, especially after they agree to the plan. Only 1.5 more years, and I don't have to worry anymore =3 Then two months in Mo's place while I find a permanent place to stay. Maybe with my fairy, who knows. I told my brother a while ago that I'm moving out when I turned 18/graduate high school and that my dad acknowledged it, but then he made me feel guilty about it. He said "So you're just gonna leave Mom and Dad by themselves?" I really wanted to say "Well, you could stay with them, you're always ending up back at the house anyway", but I couldn't; that's too mean--and he would be pissed. I hate it when Judd's pissed, especially when it's at me and/or it's about something stupid, like asking him to do something he was supposed to do anyway...Does that make me a bad sister? I always wondered that. I love him to death and I wish he could just live a carefree life, but sometimes he acts more like a selfish spoiled brat than I do...at least I help around the place I live at. I told him to help me wash the dishes and he snapped back saying "I don't need to be told what to do by my little sister!" and shut me out of the room...it's HIS chore DX

Whoops, I'm complaining. Shut up, Jenni.

-KF

Gah...Stupid KF, Stupid...

Mon May 25, 2009, 12:56 PM

* Mood: Shame
* Listening to: "Sara's Song"-the ESP's
* Drinking: Orange Juice

I regret so much right now; I just keep leading this kid on cuz I'm selfish and don't know what I want. I feel like I'm reverting back to my middle school self, or I'm evolving into some sort of...thing-yeah, some sort of thing I don't like. I can't really look at the mirror the right way; I look different. Maybe I'm just growing up? That's depressing, I'm 16-I'm supposed to be living a carefree life with stereotypical teenager problems like getting a date, parents, and friends-so why is that these are all magnified by at least 5x? It might seem like I'm just exaggerating this, like every other teenager out there, but I know the difference...
For those of you that wish for a manga life on a shooting star or something, be specific and be careful-you might get exactly what you wished for, cuz I did...

On a lighter note, my parents' 25th anniversary was yesterday-I dunno how my mom could stand my dad for that long, cuz I can barely stand him for 5 minutes, but they're happy and disgustingly lovey-dovey so it's fine.
We're going to the beach later today cuz it's Labour Day-I'm gonna have a permanent tan because of all these trips to the beach(we live 5minutes away from there). I hope we can stop by the Ice Cream Club afterwards-today looks like an ice cream day. For the past couple of days it's been icky and humid and very rainstorm-y-I'm looking outside now and Mr. Blue Sky is out so it's all good =3

For those of you who actually read all this, I'm sorry-I rant.

<3 KF