1960 Film The LSOH Parody (Finished!)

[Back at the Flower Shop, Naara had finished eating his Carnations when Taro came in with his flytrap/butterwort plant.]

Taro: Well here it is everybody. What do you think of it?

Jess: Wow. Sure is different.

Naara: Looks tasty, but doesn't it look a little stale?

Taro: It hasn't been feeling well lately.

Ara: Call that a fancy plant? Looks like it hasn't spent 5 minutes in its entire life.

Jess: I don't care. I like it anyway.

Ara: You'd even like skunk cabbage.

Jess: Ew. What kind of plant is it Taro-kun?

Taro: I'm not sure. I got the seeds from a smooth-talking guy named Audrey Two from New York City in America. He got the seeds free from his own roots- or hands. He didn't explain exactly.

Ara: Great. You have no idea what kind of plant it is.

Taro: Well, I gave it a name.

Jess: What name?

Taro: Uh, um…

Ara: You gave it a dirty name and can't say it?

Taro: No. I named it Jessy Jr.

Jess: (giggles in delight while hugging Taro) You named it after me! That's the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me. *Kisses Taro on the cheek*

Ara: I don't think it's worth the $10.00 a week on your salary.

Jess: But sir, he named it after me.

Ara: Yeah. And if we keep it, they'll name it "Arachnea's Folly" cause I'll be in jail for nonpayment of taxes.

Naara: Are you crazy?

Ara: Who me?

Naara: Yeah You. That's probably the only plant of its kind in the world. Don't you realize that if Taro can nurse it back to health, you'll have people coming here from all over the world?

Ara: You think so Naara?

Naara: I know so Arachnea. *Looks at watch* Oops. Have to get home. Sasori is cooking Dandelions for dinner.

Jess: Night Naara Nii-chan.

Naara: Night guys. See you tomorrow. Crazy about Dandelions. *Leaves*

Taro: He's a nice guy.

Ara: Maybe he knows what he's talking about. Maybe he's right. Look I tell you what. I'll keep you and planty here for a week. If you can nurse it back to health, you both can stay. If you can't, you're both fired.

Taro: Thank you sir.

[Arachnea leaves. But Taro looks unhappy.]

Jess: Don't be sad Taro-kun.

Taro: (Sadly) Don't waste your pity on me Jessy. I'm not worth it.

Jess: Who says so?

Taro: Everybody.

Jess: Yeah, I know. But I still think you're a great guy. And this Jessy Jr. will be the greatest thing in the world.

Taro: Well, I don't know. I've given it every fancy fertilizer, and atomic plant food and distilled mineral water anyone could find. It just gets sicker and sicker.

Jess: Don't worry Taro. I'm sure you'll think of something. Good night Taro-kun.

Taro: Good night Jessy.

[Jess leaves. Taro was still by his plant.]

Taro: What's the matter little plant? Haven't I done everything I could for you? What am I going to do? You're the first little plant I ever tried to grow. And if you die, I don't know what I'll do. Please don't die. I'll get you some water. Okay?

[Taro goes to get the watering can. He looks out and sees the sun setting. He turns on the light and goes back to the little plant and sees its trap opened.]

Taro: Hmmm. You opened up like you do every sunset. I wish I knew how to make you grow. Here, let me move this other plant out of your way so you can breath. *Cuts his finger on one of the thorns on the big plant* OW!

[Taro shook his finger fast and drops of his blood fell in Jessy Jr.'s trap, which opened and closed quickly after the blood.]

Taro: Hey, what happened? How come you opened up like… *looks at the bleeding finger* BLOOD? You like BLOOD? Well, I love blood too, but this is ridiculous!

Jessy Jr: *Opens and shuts its trap quickly*

Taro: You gotta be kidding me. Well, we'll see.

[Taro takes a sharp pin and licks it and dries it to make it sharper.]

Taro: Oh man what am I doing? *Pokes the pin into his finger* OW!

[Taro squeezed the bloody finger hang over Jessy Jr as it slurped the blood it got.]

Taro: Oh man. Who would have thought it? A plant having the same appetite as me! Well, I guess there's no accounting for people's taste.

[Next morning Taro came to the shop. He had squeezed all the blood in his fingers to little Jessy Jr and now his fingers had to stay wrapped up in bandages. As he got to the shop, Taro was surprised to see a sign in the window. It said, "Come see the Jessy Jr, the most amazing plant in the world." Taro went inside the shop where Jess and Ara were happy to see him.]

Jess: Taro-kun! *Hugs him* You are the most magnificent person in the world!

Ara: Look at him Jess. Isn't he great? Isn't he delicious? Isn't he getting a $2.00 raise? What happened to your fingers?

Taro: Bee stings. Why am I all of a sudden so popular?

Ara: 5 bees? One for each finger?

Taro: *Shows Arachnea the other hand* 10 bees. You said I was getting a $2.00 raise?

Ara: Correct my brilliant Taro. Indeed.

Taro: What did I do now?

Jess: Don't you know what you did?

[Jess took Taro to where the Jessy Jr was. Taro was surprised that it had grown.]

Jess: Look!

Taro: Wow! It grew! It must be at least a foot long.

Jess: Isn't it a miracle? And we've had more than 10 customers only seconds after we opened the shop. And two girls want this plant in their float for the flower parade.

Ara: This is the greatest day in the history of the shop, Taro. I can see it now. Once we get enough money thanks to your plant, we can leave Skid Row and go to Las Vegas. You'll have a great big Greenhouse full of wonderful and mysterious plants. And I'll sell them in a great Flower Shop. And there will be a sign. And it'll say "Chikumo's Flowers" in French. And it'll all be because of you and your wonderful plant.

Taro: Thank you sir.

Ara: Don't call me sir. Call me... Uncle Ara.

Taro: Yes Uncle Ara! :D

[Then, their friends Roulette and Thorn came in]

Taro: Hey guys. What are you doing?

Thorn: We're here to buy some flowers for our date tonight.

Ara: Here you go. 1 dozen roses on the house.

Roulette: Thanks man. *Looks at the Jessy Jr.* You really should do something with that dead plant over there. Come on sweetie.

Thorn: Bye guys.

[Taro and Ara looked at the plant and gasped. It was dieing.]

Taro: AH! What the heck happened to my plant, Uncle Ara?

Ara: *glares at Taro* Who are you calling "Uncle"?

Jess: Oh no. And it looked so beautiful minutes ago.

Ara: Yeah. And a few minutes ago I gave away a dozen roses to Rou-Rou and Thorn FREE!

Taro: I didn't mean it.

Ara: You have maybe an explanation for this?

Taro: No. But if you give me a minute, I'll think of one.

Ara: I can see it all now. We're in the poor house. And that big sign, it'll read "Taro Chikumo. Rest in Peace" in Arabic!

Jess: You've got to give him another chance Sir.

Taro: Yeah. You promised me a week Sir. I'll sit up all night with that plant. It'll be healthy again in the morning. You'll see. I promise. I promise.

[Taro sat sadly down next to the plant. He didn't know what to do.]