1960 Film The LSOH Parody (Finished!)

[That evening, Taro stayed at the shop watching over the Jessy Jr. He was reading a book on plants. As the sun went down, Taro heard a raspy, masculine but somewhat feminine voice.]

Voice: Feed me.

Taro: *Looks around to see who made that sound* Who's there?

Voice: Feed me.

[Taro looked at the plant and saw its trap was open.]

Jessy Jr: Feed me!

[Taro fell back in surprise of the plant talking.]

Taro: Who said that? You said that? YOU said that?

Jessy Jr: Hmmmmm. Feed me!

Taro: Wow. You can talk. I have a talking plant, just like the real Jessy does! Say it again.

Jessy Jr: (Quicker) feed me. -_-'

Taro: Oh boy. I haven't been to college, but I can bet that there's no such thing as a talking plant, except for Twoey. But I'll take your word for it. Gee, Jr I'd like to feed you, but I've used up all my fingers.

Jessy Jr: Feed MeEeEeEeEeEeEe!

Taro: Look at me. I'm all cut to pieces. But maybe I can find another drop here some place.

[Taro took the bandage off his finger and squeezed it as hard as he could to find some blood for the plant. But he only got a couple of drops.]

Taro: That's the best I can do sadly till they heal.

Jessy Jr: More! More!

Taro: But I'm already anemic.

Jessy Jr: Feed me more!

Taro: Gee Jr, I'd be happy to give you anything I got. But I gotta keep a little blood for myself or I'll be in worse shape than Vinnie.

Jessy Jr: Hmm. *wilts some more*

Taro: I'm sorry Jr. I'm gonna go for a walk. Maybe I can think of something.

[Taro went out into the night. He was very upset about what to do. He wandered over to the railroad yard. He threw some rocks at some empty bottles. Then he picked up a really big rock and threw it at a bottle of Pepsi. But Bongo the Crane came up to grab the bottle and the rock hit him. Bongo fell onto the tracks. By the time he gain conscious, a speeding train was inches from him.]

Bongo: *Yells muffled because of his feathers covering his beak*

[Taro just watched helplessly as the train ran the crane over.]

Taro: Holy crap, I killed Bongo! Chess would be sad and the Red Queen would chop up my head! I'm a murderer and I didn't mean it this time! D:

[Quickly Taro grabbed a bag and stuffed Bongo's bloody remains in it. Then he went around town desperate to find a place to hide Bongo's body. But he had no choice but to go back to the flower shop. Taro put the sack on the floor and sat down.]

Jessy Jr: (Singsong voice) Feed me. Feed me. :D

Taro: Look chowhound, don't bother me. I got problems on my own.

Jessy Jr: FEED ME. D:<

Taro: I'm sorry pal, but I'm fresh out of blood. Talk to somebody else.

Jessy Jr: (Whining) I'm hungry!

Taro: I don't care what you are! Can't you see I'm upset? I just killed someone! I'm a murderer! You think it's fun to be a murderer? You think it's fun hauling around a sack full of-

Jessy Jr: Food! :D

Taro: Oh no, Jr.! What kind of guy do you think I am?

Jessy Jr.: A crazy yet fun one...

Taro: Thanks... Wait a minute, *yells* HEY!

Jessy Jr: (Whining) I'm starving!

Taro: Well, maybe just a snack wouldn't hurt.

Jessy Jr: Oh boy! Goody, goody, goody! ^^ *jumping up and down excitedly*

[Taro reached into the bag and pulled out one of Bongo's bloody wings.]

Jessy Jr: That looks yummy. :D

Taro: Okay. Here's some food.

[Taro slowly put the hand into the plant. Jessy Jr then starts to eat it. Meanwhile, Ara was having dinner with his girlfriend Jane at a nearby Restaurant.

Ara: This is such great food/

Jane: I'm glad you were able to get that much money after that plant.

Ara: Yeah. But I think I left my wallet back at the shop.

Waitress: So what else is new?

Ara: Listen. Ever since that sale my shop has made more than $50.

Waitress: Go on. It's your story.

Ara: Listen Smart Alic. Bring the rest of the food and I'll go back and get the money!

Waitress: You're playing my favorite song. Now look. One of you is going to go get the loot and the other's not going anywhere until the first one gets back!

Ara: Oh I see! You sickos make a quick living by holding hostages for people who don't pay?

Waitress: Right!

Ara: You people have no life. Well Jane, I'll be back in a flash with the cash.

Jane: Okay.

[Ara went to the shop to get his wallet, which he found next to the trash can still full of money. Then he happened to look into the window of the back door and gasped at what he saw. He saw Taro feeding the Jessy Jr a severed bloody leg.]

Ara: What in the name of Marlin Manson?

[Ara was frightened and ran back to the Restaurant.]

Waitress: So you got the loot?

Ara: Yeah yeah here.

Waitress: Thank you.

Jane: What's wrong Gordon? You look like you've seen a ghost.

Ara: NO a ghost I could handle. I don't want to talk about it.

Jane: Maybe you should eat something. Maybe that'll calm you down.

Ara: In my own shop. You would not believe it.

Jane: Maybe if you'd tell me about it.

Ara: I'll tell you tomorrow after I tell the police. *Takes a huge bite out of his steak*