As the title suggests, I started the line art of this older sketch since I was so bent out of shape this morning. It felt good to get creative and have all my nagging thoughts disappear for a few hours. Life has been a total emotional roller coaster lately and I'm just trying to stay sane in all of it. D:
Hey all!
Here is the sketch to my newest picture that I'm working on. I'm going to do this on a much bigger canvas to try something new, I'm also going to try to do a completely different coloring style then what I normally do. I can't wait to see what this turns into! Wish me luck!
Hey everyone!
I don't know where to start. I guess I'll start by saying how bad I feel for posting such a negative post two weeks ago. I mean it wasn't the worst I ever posted but I like to post about the good things. Then again, I was feeling so dizzy and just full of crap that I just had to let out my feelings, so I guess that is okay.
Any who, this post will be more positive in nature (read not as angry sounding). Even though this week was crappy overall I'm feeling the best I did in over a week or 2.
King-Sama drew a picture for me!
Like seriously, when I saw this my head pretty much exploded in a million pieces. I knew he was drawing a picture for me for the pay it forward challenge but I kinda forgot about it. So when I saw the dedication in my PMs and saw the picture, I was totally shocked. So like spam this man with love and appreciation because he totally deserves it. I had a rough couple of days too so this totally made my night! I can't begin to explain the profound love I have for all of my friends and just the love I get back right now! I'm truly blessed!
Stupid Health flare ups
First it was my back but that quickly disappeared, NOW it's my eczema wants to flare up like crazy. Not to mention for the last week I've been getting small itchy bumps all over my body. It started on my left arm and continued from there. Like this nonsense is insane. The last time I had anything like this happened was when I had an allergic reaction to the antibiotics(?) I had taken years ago. Now, literally out of nowhere I'm getting them all over again. I have NO idea where it's stemming from. My mom told me it was from the heat (heat bumps) but looking it up that's 100% wrong. I can only assume that it's from what I may be eating, but that is only an assumption. I don't really know. It could be from the eczema so when I saw Neosporin Essentials Trial Pack that is strictly for eczema I decided to try it. Bumps aside, I needed to find an healthier alternative to help manage my eczema. My ointment that I had for years is slowly running out and quite frankly, I want a more natural approach. Not some cream that has steroids and god knows what else in it that can possibly cause CANCER.
I've been using it for 2 days, used the shower gel, body cream and spot treatment today and holy s**t it works wonders! The super scaly patches that was on my chest totally cleared up! I never seen anything like this. As far as the bumps, the itchiness goes down a lot for hours and if it does start back up I just use the body cream. So far I give this 5/5 stars. If you have trouble with eczema and want a better alternative PLEASE at least try the trial pack. It's truly awesome.
As far as the bumps, if I keep seeing them flaring up I have to go to a doctor as much as I would hate to go. The only thing about that is I may have to wait MONTHS just to have an appointment. And after last year's fiasco, I'm like f**k that noise. Some how I made it with a 10 dollar jar of Tiger Balm, that and a lot of time to heal naturally. But yeah, hopefully these bumps will cease and decease with the Neosporin Essentials.
Going vegan?
Yup, I'm totally leaning in that direction. It's funny because I was thinking about going vegan last week and then that next day I see this book on sale! I read the first few pages and was convinced! I got the book from Amazon itself for about a dollar and some change. With shipping included I only paid less then 7 bucks where the new hardback book is normally 20 dollars! I love scoring deals like this!
I read up to about page 17(?) and man I love it. It explains so much and have me looking at meat even more differently! I'm just glad to know that I'm already on the right track slowly eliminating meats in my diet except seafood as a whole. I was leaning towards being a vegetarian but with this book I think going vegan might be the ultimately better choice. That and it might be a lot easier then I thought! Even though I'm in no position to make drastically huge changes, taking this one step at a time will be more then enough for me since I am living with 3 other meat eaters.
My mental this week
This week has to be one of the hardest weeks I had to deal with this summer so far. My head was so damn fuzzy this week it was hard to do anything! I would have borderline headaches, get nauseous when I was on the computer and I just felt like crappy crap crap. I can't even begin to explain how freaking screwed up I was. Right now though, I feel a lot better after I went outside to spend sometime in nature. Even though some of that fuzziness is still there, I feel 80%-90% better then I did this morning. I was so lethargic, slow and just low in energy even my mom asked me what's wrong. But some how being outside made a total difference, even when I felt like s**t despite being in the sunlight and fresh air. So maybe this is a cry to go outside more. I'll try to do that when I can when it's nice in the morning. If it can stop this fuzzy brain, airy fairy nonsense, I'm willing to spend more time walking around the neighborhood.
Lack of art
Last thing. My art. Once again, my willingness to do art has died in the face of all these issues. Not just that but I seriously have been totally off center when it comes to my inner artist. I'm so out of touch it's simply crazy how I let myself get this way. I can't complain too much since I have been dealing with a lot when I was being active, but I just want to get back drawing/being creative again. I want to create character's, stories, graphics and just so much. I'll get there though...
*sign* This summer isn't shaping up like the way I imagined it thus far. BUT I still have less then two months worth of summer left (once school starts summer is over to me but whatever lol). So I still have time to work on my goals!
Anyway, thank you all for reading and supporting me! I adore you all so much! Take care!
Like seriously...
Rambling
So much had happened to me this month, the falling out with my dad, my pet died, I met a new friend, new plans and resolve for my life, my most recent dizzy spell, my back hurting again and god knows what else!
I normally have some set topics with my world posts but I have no clue where to start. This month has been so damn intense for me. I just feel like I'm stuck between old and new. I'm trying to get rid of the old but the new is not yet set for me, or I'm not set for it so I'm going through all this pain. It's all really too much at times and I hope that this crappy vortex ends soon.
Random Dizziness And Nausea
This weekend have to be one of the worst I had. Yesterday morning I woke up feeling so off balance with my stomach turning, I felt like I just got off a roller coaster. I wasn't sick, like at all and I haven't done anything that could trigger this. I had to ask my mom to make me soup since I couldn't move without feeling so spacey and all this BS. That and I didn't want to spit up anything I ate so I just went with the safe meal and chose soup. By the end of the day I felt better, 85% of the spinning of the room sensation was gone. Right now I'm 95% over it and I'm hoping it all will be gone by tomorrow because I'm meeting Yvette again.
Fast Friends
Speaking of which we are going to hang out at the mall tomorrow. We're going to met downtown early in the morning and head to a mall near Delaware. I'm really looking forward to this because this week has been a struggle for me. Going outside with a friend and talk about everything will help me clear my head!
I Really F**king Hate Summer
I really do. I guess the end all of this month is that I freaking hate summer for all it's worth. Too much BS tends to explode during the summer time and people like to act like morons. My life always takes this extreme turn for no reason and I'm always holding on for dear life. All of my July wasn't bad clearly, but I must admit it was the worst month so far this year. And with August coming up I just hope time goes super fast so I can make it though the hottest month of the year and be that much closer to Fall season.
I've been on the computer for too long and starting to feel nausea so I'm going to end it here. Take care!
Hey everyone!
The Aftermath
It's been almost two weeks since my last (and rather depressing) post about my guinea pig Caramel. Since then I turned into a hyperemotional mess, most of which was a heightened feeling of compassion. It lasted for quite a while and was so bad and that it was crippling. I probably cried more times then I can remember because of it. It's a feeling that's generally hard to break into. Not that I'm not compassionate but I'm quite cynical about the world which cover's that emotion up (dare I say a defense mechanism from complete vulnerability). Once that layer is scattered however, it's like a high voltage live wire. It's the most intensely felt emotion I can feel honestly. Then imagine that heightened about 10x with the mix of grieving. Emotional rollercoaster can't even describe mess I was going though. At the same time, I learned a lot more about myself and my life so it's not all bad. It was just really intense (and depressing).
My Resting stop
After about 2 days since that post, I escaped to Brandon's for about a week. His mom and sister was on vacation so he had the house to himself. I took full advantage of it too, it was so relaxing and I was able to get myself together at the end. It really help me see things more clearly than seeing the same area where I felt the most pain in years. I was able to plan what I was going to do and get myself back to where I was so I can be productive.
New Friend!
During my stay at Brandon's we had anime night where Brandon's friends that I haven't seen in about 2 years came by, Yvette and Alex. It was really fun, me and Yvette got along great and decided to swap emails again and hang out a few days after. We traded emails since and found that we have A LOT in common, it's almost scary haha! When we met up the similarities kept coming and we talked for hours on end. The day went so fast but it was so much fun! We learned a lot about each other and it was great hanging out with another female peer that I felt comfortable with for once! The last one was Fatima and that failed horribly at the end, and that was 4 years ago GOSH.
Honestly, I was secretly wanting to hang out with another female all year really. But a lot of them outside the internet tend to be "catty" and I don't deal with that. That and I'm so much into my little world and what I'm doing that I didn't bother to try to find one. Luckily it came to me and it's working out so well! We have the same interests and she knows Japanese and she give me mini lessons randomly XD! That and we plan to hang out at the local ice cream festival this weekend.
The Last Of The Good News
I also launched a new reading for my angel reading business and gotten 3 readings (two for the new one) in one week, including two today! So things are surely looking up and I'm ready to take my life to the next level.
One more thing I want to mention is that I'm finally buckling down and learning Korean which is going quite nicely! I'm rather fond of the language (thanks k-pop) and learning it is easier for me then I expected. So I'm quite excited about that!
Okay another thing, I'm sorry that I haven't commented back on everyone's replies. I honestly just got back into the swing of things last weekend so EVERYTHING was left unchecked when I came back. I want to show everyone that is kind enough to show their support how much I appreciate their words! I hate having comments that I never replied back from people. That and I have so many arts and things to post as well.
One More Paragraph Of Wisdom
It's going to be a fantastic summer despite a hard learned lesson. (cheesy moment alert) I know caramel's spirit still lives on and god knows she never would want me to be less then who I truly am. Living out all of what I intended to do instead of letting circumstances crush me is the ultimate tribute to her. I know she is happy so I have to follow suite too. It's not the body she left behind I need to focus on, but the place we all go afterwards. Knowing that makes me feel better as I move on from this. (end cheesy moment)
Okay that's it, I'll post my most recent cards, WIPs and new art soon! Love you all!
Take care!
