Writing introductions is a bit tedious so....just take a look at my first post if you want to know more....
....and if you get curious about the name of this World or my posts, check out the second one.
- Created By Sailor Nevar
Load
some random England sketches I did a while ago....
new stuff:
...not really sure what my antisocial self is doing joining these kinds of communities, but....2012 looks like it's gonna be an interesting year (alligators aside...)
I'm already famous after all...
Mute Friendship
I felt awake for the first time since coming back from Florida yesterday. I mean, really awake, not just rested after sleeping. It happens all the time, one day I'm just living, and the next day I'm wide awake and seeing everything for what it is. Seeing where I should go and what I should do and it all seems so easy...but I can't seem to keep hold of that type of day for long. My motivation and energy seep away before I can even get organized.
Of course, I know what woke me up this time. I often don't, but this one's pretty obvious. It's a shame I am the way that I am. At this rate I'll never do the things I want to because I'm too proud to appear to be copying someone. But that's the way it goes. If you keep things to yourself there's no proof that you thought of it first, is there? Years of planning up in smoke, because 'me too' is my least favorite phrase ever.
間違いだらけのコミュニケーション
For a moment I actually thought, "It might be OK, I could try it..." and then I remembered, no, no, that's not what I do. Other people work together, not me. That's not who I am or who people expect me to be. I will always be the one who floats off alone. I don't need them, so of course I don't want them. I don't want them so of course I'm not interested in them. I'm not interested in them so of course I won't invite them in. And I can't do things that might make it appear that I had changed my mind.
自分だけどこか取り残された...
Shaken
Something's different...I don't really know why or how, but things are so much easier this winter. It might be that I'm used to it, or it might be that it 's actually warmer, but it's not bothering me nearly as much as it has in the past. It seems to be going by much faster too, but I think I know why that is...thanks to which I've lost my train of thought for this post...
...and no matter how many days go by it looks like I'm not getting it back either, might as well just let it go....I feel like I may be getting feverish again, or it may just be the usual kind of crazy that's making my mind jump all over the place...
...it might have been something about having fun...the phrase, "I am no longer interested in unhappiness," keeps jumping back out at me, but as if I've cast a spell on myself again I believe it less now than when I thought of it...
...had a nice grip on my life till you twisted my arm...
Unleash The Beast
I am ridiculously angry right now. Like, seriously, it's ridiculous how angry I am. It's ridiculous that I'm even angry in the first place. It's one of those moments when I really wish my "wifey" or even my "mistress" was still around to talk to (or at least text) at any time of day or night. Just to snap me out of it and calm me down so I can sleep normally. I may have acquired a new "girlfriend" this week, but I think it's a bit soon to be bothering her w/my rage problems so....I write...
You think someone knows you, and then...you think they know how you would react in certain situations, how you would feel about things, not everything, they're not mind readers you know, but you think at least, at least, those certain things that are REALLY NOT OK with you, those things you think they know...
And then you remember they're fucking clueless about everything involving other people.
And that's not the half of it.
I'm much less mad at my idiot big brother (b/c after all, let's face it, he is just my idiot big brother, he can't help the way he is...) than I am at his....friend? drinking buddy? little boy he hangs around with b/c there's no one better in town?
they all fit I guess...
1. Don't talk about me to my big brother to find out if I might let you hang out with me instead of talking to me yourself.
2. DON'T ask him for my email, especially when I've given you like 18 different chances to ask me for it yourself.
3. AND DON'T wait until 11pm to ask him to text me b/c you weren't drunk enough to have the courage before then.
I do not have time for wishy-washy, nervous little boys.
OH, AND (4.) DON'T YOU DARE FUCKING COME TALKING TO ME LIKE WE'RE FRIENDS WHEN NO ONE ELSE IS AROUND AND THEN ACT SCARED OF ME WHEN THEY ARE. IT'S ANNOYING. (Not to mention, it makes you look like a giant loser.)
the girlfriend
I really want to post more (a loooot more) about 冬コミ but I knew I had to get that out of my system...Eh....I'll probably end up texting the new gf about some of it tomorrow if I'm not feeling better when I wake up, but dammit...I really didn't want this kind of headache before bedtime.
The weak are allowed to congregate. I want to be weak. If that's impossible, at least give me someone as strong as I am.
Countdown to the End: 1 (Only Mercifully)
I thought I had nothing to say & then I realized...wait, no, I actually have nothing to say. I just haven't posted any of my Gilbert sketches and since he's the next character I'm working on...yeah....here they are...
...front view...the shape of his face is all wrong, but I was drawing it in a meeting (which I had decided to NOT do w/these b/c I KNOW it lowers the quality) so I guess it's excusable?
...side or 3/4 view...I was trying to draw him in a hoodie b/c he always seems to wear one in doujinshi, but....yeah, not quite right....
I almost fell down the well again last week...but we had a 4 day weekend for me to get my head straightened out again. That was lucky. All 2 day nightmares should be followed by a mandatory 4 day weekend. It's my new rule. In reality, the yearly torture was not as bad as it has been in the past. I got up extra early (& stayed extra late) both days so I wouldn't be stuck on a tiny train w/a bunch of people I hate, took my DS and some Starbucks along, and somehow the time went by faster than I expected it to. When it started feeling slow I just worked on these to keep my mind off it...
...Gilbert, practically the same as the hoodie pic, but w/out the hoodie...I swear I didn't notice till I got home...
...a bit older looking Arthur, didn't have time to finish him since it was the end of the day, and I don't really like that style of eyes...
...pouty Alfred...I'm trying to make him more innocent looking & Arthur more worldly b/c I don't really like the popular fan perception of Arthur as a girly tsundere who cries over everything. Yes, he does get upset sometimes, but...that somehow leads people to draw him looking really effeminate and make Al all suave and predatory which is totally wrong. Hmm...there's a lot more I want to say about that subject, but....I think I should leave it alone for now. If I get started I'll end up talking about things I don't want to just yet.
So, last for today...I got more fanart!
This great drawing of Marco from One Piece is by animesick, please go give hugs here! I seriously don't know why people give me stuff...I don't think I do anything worth getting presents, but I appreciate them all the same!
I am me no matter what others say. This is the proof of my strength.
