Writing introductions is a bit tedious so....just take a look at my first post if you want to know more....
....and if you get curious about the name of this World or my posts, check out the second one.
- Created By Sailor Nevar
Winged Eagles
I went rollerblading today. I haven't been in a while, but it's not so hot now so I don't have to worry about my skin breaking out in all kinds of itchy weirdness. Once I do it, I always wish I was doing it more. It's one of those Newton's law things again, I love skating, I always have, but I love other stuff too and it's hard to do something that's not a part of your routine. OK, I'll admit my decision to go today (and at least once a week for as long as it's not too cold) is partly b/c of the nurse at my health check freaking over my blood pressure. After checking it 3 times she was convinced that it had less to do with my panicking over them taking my blood, and more to do with me being generally unhealthy, despite looking perfectly fine. Which I probably am, malnutrition born fingernail ridges and all...and, I'll admit she might be right. Also, I'm not quite sure I'm skinny enough to do a good job on the character I want to cosplay at 冬コミ. I'm not saying who it is yet, but I think based on the kind of stuff I've done in the past, people will be surprised by this one.
So I went out, ignoring the old ache in my knee that has come back with a vengeance thanks to the mild weather, Linkin Park and Owl City shuffling on my iPod, basketball player mouthguard that's supposed to keep me from losing my front teeth (again) making it impossible to sing along. I forgot to count songs so I have no idea how long I was out, but it's ok. It was a while I'm sure. I couldn't really fly like I like to for most of it, the blocks are too short and there's a car coming around the next corner at least 50% of the time, but that's ok too. They're always repaving the roads in Shizuoka and it's awesome when I find that one in my neighborhood has been done when I wasn't paying attention. Those are the best places to just ignore the old people loitering and staring and skate up and down the same block over and over, faster and faster. At times like that though, I really miss my dad's old neighborhood. Rich, suburban, sunny, north-central Florida. Miles and miles of clean, wide road with nothing lining it but big houses and green green grass. No railroad tracks or stoplights or random factories making who knows what with big trucks coming out of them.
(No, I'm not cosplaying Sakura, she's like....10 years old, it would look ridiculous. That's a rollerblading picture you idiots.)
Last weekend Hachi and I finally saw the Gundam00 movie. I say finally, but really it had only been out for a week at that point. Still, fans should go the first day! We had a good reason for waiting though. We managed to get tickets to a special showing at which the director and 5 voice actors (the 4 main pilots and Graham Acre!) would appear live after the movie to talk to the audience. (For only $2 extra!) I'm not super obsessive about any of the voices in 00, but it was cooler than I expected. Two of them seemed really smart, which impressed me of course. Setsuna's voice actor was kinda young and it showed in his responses to the moderator's questions, but it was cute in a way. They talked a lot about the message of the movie and what they hoped people would take from it, and it seemed like they all really believed in it.
sign announcing the event at the theater
they had all 4 meisters lined up, but...yeah, I just wanted him...
Alleluia's voice actor seemed kinda cold, but I don't really like his voice so much anyway, just his personality(s). The movie itself was really amazing though. So much so that I might just have to go again. There were some parts where I kinda missed what people were talking about due to being fascinated by the flashy space battles (hey, it's gundam, what do you want from me?) The message was really good though. Also, there were aliens! And that's something different from any gundam movie or series to date. At first I wasn't so cool with it, but as the movie went on it became obvious why they did that. I think I like Setsuna's character a bit more after seeing it too. Not that I didn't like him before or anything, I just liked Hallelujah and Alleluia best. I still do, but...yeah, I can relate to Setsuna more now. I remember being impressed during the TV series run by how current the issues seemed despite being a space drama set 300 years in the future. I had that feeling about Seed & S. Destiny when they were on 5 or 6 years ago too. Looking back, I expect Wing, & the first Gundam series (as well as it's follow ups Z and ZZ) were probably the same for their time. Anyway, this movie did a great job of sticking to that theme.
Funny, I saw that movie just before getting the new Linkin Park album and now I can't help but think it was for a reason. Eh...it's probably just a coincidence, or one of those weird connections that I make in my head due to circumstances, but....yeah, the message is almost the same. It's pretty fucking awesome actually. I really like watching (hearing?) a band "grow up" and they certainly have. My brother said people were comparing this album ("A Thousand Suns") to Nine Inch Nails's "The Fragile" or Radiohead's "Kid A". I don't know about all that, but I do know they're trying to say something big. It's impressive when a band can make an album that really says something. Not to say that if your album doesn't then you've failed or anything, of course musicians say things with their songs all the time. They tell stories with them and make people feel things, and it's really great, but it's one thing to write a song that means something, and then put it on a cd with a bunch of other songs that mean something and have a collection of meaningful songs. It's another thing entirely when all those songs that mean something, when put together in the right order mean something more. One of those "the whole is greater than the sum of all it's parts" kind of things. Uh....it sounds cheesey now that I write it out...but anyway, the point is it's one of those albums that's meant to be listened to from start to finish, as a whole, not just for the "good" songs that occur between the "just alright" ones.
...hold on, the weight of the world will give you the strength to go...
6/17 op. 2 Doesn't Smile Much Anymore
4/21 - "bleed it out, digging deeper just to throw it away"
Your mask is slipping, cracking in places you didn't realize were weakening in the first place. The bandages you'd smeared across the older cracks have started crumbling and eroding while your attention was was elsewhere, and now the light seeping through them burns far worse than the first time.
The effort it takes just to keep it on at all is becoming excruciating. The strength required to fool not only them, but yourself for so many consecutive hours is taking everything you've got left. But you must not let it go. Even if the chinks become larger, revealing a black eye here, a split lip there, the dissimilarities of your skin in too many obvious ways.
4/17 - "we'll waltz like an army, for the fear of our pain"
The way your mind races...really...the ideas, the possibilities...each dramatic thought a different turn leading to a new end in a new story. Death. Destruction. Panic and fear. It's all enticing.
4/15 - "gonna wake up strong"
...and when the realization comes you are glad, fervently glad, of your perfectly, flawless, impeccable memory. You don't want to remember these things - you didn't want to know them in the first place dammit (for once a thing is known it can never again be unknown...) but you do - you can't help it. And still you're glad, glad you can look at yourself and see someone else, glad you can look at the now and laugh at how easy it is, how goddamn easy it is compared to back then, laugh and keep going because there's really nothing they can inflict on you, nothing you can suffer that could compare to that time.
So your jaw loosens just a bit each day and you remember they can't hurt you if you don't let them.
4/20 - "and the clouds above moved closer, looking so dissatisfied"
It's amazing how you can be both insulted and flattered by something at the same time. Maybe it's a failure of confidence, or of true linguistic proficiency. Who the hell knows.
Sometimes, we are absolutely nowhere.
4/26 - "but I want you to come in closer, come in closer..."
4/17 - "we only wanna sing when we want to"
The loosening only lasts as long as you're distracted. It's entertaining to watch someone else fluster over things you know will be fine. Things you know don't matter. Things you don't care about.
4/24 - "what ever happened to the song, the soul, the me I used to know?"
...and when I awoke I found myself among the humans. There were others here too, I realized. Others of my kind, and our enemies too. It was obvious whenever I met them. I'll never forget the first time. That memory still terrifies me. I had known what I was for only a short time back then, and was just beginning to wonder about my comrades' fate. Had we lost? We must have, for why else would I be imprisoned here in this useless place?
4/21 - "my mind has lost direction, somehow"
....that child has never been able to state her feelings clearly....she has to walk around them for a while before the beginnings of a description can form. And even then, it's not one made of words the rest of us are likely to understand. It's all images and heat and tension and full and empty and
"Honest is easy. Fiction's where genius lies."
End
